Chen Yan
Chapter 165 Wrong From the Start
The gentle voice, accompanied by warm breath, entered her ear.
Yu Qingwu struggled slightly, but when she saw that Xie Jinyan was unwilling to let go, she had no choice but to remind him, "Your Highness, going out now might not be in accordance with the rules."
Rules?
When had he, the notoriously absurd Crown Prince, ever followed the rules?
A flash of sarcasm flitted across Xie Jinyan's eyes. He asked her with a smile, "A'wu, don't you want to go out?"
"Or are you unwilling to go out with me?"
He raised his eyebrows, a hint of displeasure flitting through his eyes, and he hummed, "I know, you've been sulking about what happened that day, but you also need to understand me. You know my situation. Many things can't be done as you wish. If I really did that, wouldn't I truly be a muddle-headed ruler?"
So, it had become her fault for not being understanding?
Yu Qingwu suddenly realized that she seemed to have never truly known Xie Jinyan.
In the past, she thought that even if he was a bit stubborn and a bit cruel, at least he was sincere towards her, at least he was still a decent Crown Prince, and at least he still had some kindness in his heart.
Even when he was young and used such childish methods to get her attention, it was perhaps just because he was ignorant.
But now, she was shocked to realize that perhaps he had always been like this.
He had always valued benefits more than human lives and justice.
Perhaps from his point of view, it wasn't wrong, but it was never something she could accept.
At this moment, Yu Qingwu suddenly didn't even feel like getting angry.
She raised her head, looked at the familiar yet unfamiliar face, and suddenly felt weak. In an extremely gentle but emotionless voice, she replied, "Your Highness is overthinking it. I'm not angry."
"It's just… perhaps, we were wrong from the start."
Wrong from the start?
The implication was that being his wife was wrong?
Just because he couldn't help her get revenge?
Or was it that in her eyes, he was just a tool for revenge, and if he couldn't fulfill her wishes, then it was wrong?
The tenderness in Xie Jinyan's eyes suddenly froze, gradually turning into frost. He slowly withdrew his hand, which had been holding hers, and coldly hummed. Staring at the woman, he said, word by word, "Yu Qingwu, so, it's wrong that I couldn't help you get revenge?"
"In your eyes, am I just a tool for revenge? Is it that once I don't meet your requirements, then it's wrong? You're going to give me the cold shoulder, is that right?"
Xie Jinyan became more and more agitated as he spoke, and his eyes turned red by the end.
Due to the occasion, he forcibly suppressed the anger in his chest and just silently looked at her, coldly asking again, "Yu Qingwu, I'm asking you a question!"
He grabbed her slender wrist, unconsciously increasing the pressure.
Yu Qingwu frowned because of the pain, but she didn't cry out in pain as she used to.
She just raised her head, looked at him calmly, and said, "Let's talk outside. It won't look good if we make a scene here."
After being reminded by Yu Qingwu, Xie Jinyan finally realized that he had lost his composure again.
He retracted his hand, stood up, and said, "I'll wait for you outside."
After saying that, he turned around and went straight out through the small door.
The Empress glanced over here, seemingly noticing something, but didn't ask further.
The other concubines and noble ladies who were nearby had long seen the Crown Prince. At this moment, they also noticed that something seemed to be wrong between the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess. But after all, this was the Eastern Palace's business, and the Empress was here, so they didn't dare to say much. Each of them just pretended they hadn't seen anything.
Yu Qingwu straightened her clothes, got up, bowed to the Empress, said that she was a little cold and wanted to go back to the Eastern Palace to get another piece of clothing, and then stepped out of Fengzao Palace.
As soon as she went out, she saw Xie Jinyan standing not far away. She quickly walked over to him.
Xie Jinyan gave her a cold look, didn't say anything, and just walked forward with a gloomy face.
Yu Qingwu also didn't say anything, carefully following behind him all the way until they reached the Eastern Palace and stopped.
Having not been lived in for a long time, the Eastern Palace was still neatly tidied up. There were several eunuchs and maids serving in the courtyard, and when they saw the Crown Prince and the Crown Princess entering the inner room one after the other, they were suspicious and closed the door.
As soon as she entered the room, Yu Qingwu first lit the calming incense.
Then she walked towards Xie Jinyan, but this time, she didn't lean on him to act spoiled and coax him.
She just sat beside him in a dignified and steady manner, and faintly called out to him, "Your Highness, I'm not angry, and I'm not treating you as a tool for revenge…"
"It's just…"
"It's just what?" Xie Jinyan turned his head, looking at her intently, a hint of anger vaguely revealed in his eyes.
Yu Qingwu wasn't surprised by Xie Jinyan's anger.
He was, after all, the heir to the throne. Even though he had suffered countless cold looks because of his bloodline, he was now also the Emperor's son, and his mother was the Empress of the world. He was also often flattered and pleased, so it was normal for him to have some temper.
Yu Qingwu didn't feel strange, but she just felt a little sad, sad that she and Xie Jinyan were never on the same path.
She took a deep breath, looked at him seriously, and said with a bitter smile, "I just suddenly realized that Your Highness and I are not on the same path. I can't say I don't understand Your Highness's situation, but that doesn't mean I can accept it."
"In the past, I thought we were fellow disciples, maybe childhood sweethearts, but after all, we were taught by the same master, and our thoughts would be more or less the same."
"But now, I realize how wrong I was. You are the Crown Prince, and I am a commoner. Even when you were down on your luck when you were young, you always considered power and the world. And I, thought the most about surviving and then seeking justice."
"You are not wrong, and I am not wrong, but perhaps we should not have had feelings beyond those of fellow disciples from the beginning. Two people with opposing values may be able to be fellow disciples, but if they are husband and wife, they are destined to have endless quarrels, resentment, and eventually become a pair of resentful partners."
"Just like you and me now."
Yu Qingwu hooked her lips, a trace of desolate smile on her face, met Xie Jinyan's deep eyes, and emphasized with a bitter smile, "I'm not angry, and I haven't completely treated you as a tool for revenge, nor have I given you the cold shoulder for no reason. It's just that I suddenly don't know how to get along with you."
"Should I be well-behaved and abide by etiquette? Or should I be a casual but intimate wife?"
"You don't like being too well-behaved, and being intimate will only lead to endless quarrels."
Yu Qingwu smiled, her expression gradually becoming sorrowful.
In the past, she wouldn't have dared to be like this. Now, perhaps it was because she felt that she still had an older brother, a brother who could be considered to have immense power, that she was able to not completely try to please Xie Jinyan and dare to tell him such truths.
And Xie Jinyan, didn't answer.
He just silently looked at her. After a long while, he slowly looked at her and asked in a hoarse voice, "A'wu, if the person in my position today was Xiao Fengyun, would you still feel that it was wrong from the start? If I remember correctly, in the past, when Xiao Fengyun's opinion differed from yours, you always listened to him in the end. Why doesn't that work with me?"