Chapter 141: Kill Or Be Killed?
"Does that make you feel better?"
"I... think? I really don’t see why that is necessary." I answered Selene honestly, doing my best to keep my expression neutral.
[You didn’t learn your lesson.]
’I actually did! I’m wearing my cold resistance ring this time, ha!’ I answered Glutton inwardly, feeling Selene’s cold hand that was gently patting me and stroking my hair.
Just how the fuck did the tables turn that way? Wasn’t it supposed to be the opposite?
I was sitting beside her in the water pool — that I really started to hate — for the second time after, well, waking up from another ’Nightmare’ so she was helping me to relax again.
I mean, it technically wasn’t a lie. I had seen maybe millions of both Exalted and cultivators getting wiped out of the planet and 2 knulls getting publicly executed by fire in a spear.
Yeah, it was definitely a nightmare.
So how was she helping me to relax?
She basically forced my head into her shoulder, ignoring all my damn complaints, just because she had seen that in a book! And it was a book about raising children!
From a point — ignoring the fact that I was still freezing — yeah, it was really comfortable. I admit that all she did was indeed helping me, but after what I had seen in the dream, that care had the opposite effect for me.
Yesterday, I made a dream that I wanted to achieve, to kill everyone that I considered a guilty sinner without getting paid until I end all of them.
If all I had seen was true, then I was probably dreaming of becoming the enemy of almost all the world.
Yeah, literally almost all the world!
The Dark Order, the knulls, the main kingdoms and the government, leaving only a few like the vampires who seemed to be neutral in this messed up world.
The Dark Order was the most obvious, I’d probably need to wipe all of them without exceptions.
The knulls, even though they started with self defense, they were now killing innocents for that same self defense.
I understood that they probably tried to solve this peacefully, maybe even tried to fix the world’s core and found out that there was no hope, but why would I care? Whoever did bad things intentionally because they were forced or desperate still deserved to die.
As for the damn kingdoms, they were the start of all that! I could recognise those 2 with golden hair and white hair anywhere. The first was like a mature Arthur, and the second was a copy of Zephyr!
And for the government, it was an alliance between the kingdoms that made an academy to turn us into weapons against knulls. Yeah, I don’t need to explain it.
To make this world better, I had to kill a lot of people.
As for redemption? Yeah, I liked that idea, it was like someone punishing themselves and fixing their sins, definitely deserved mercy, but I was the one who would judge that.
Of course, I didn’t mind being a general enemy to the world.
The problem was something else.
Unlike my past life, I wasn’t now a lonely man with only 2 friends at the age of 22.
I had an older sister that didn’t want me to kill anyone.
I had 4 friends who were princes and princesses — though Cel was only half a princess — of the same corrupted kingdoms that might become my enemies.
I had a teacher that was part of the government.
There was also a ghost man that I had watched struggling for a year and now seemed to be really close to that same teacher.
And here was the walking short lantern beside me.
She was for some reason following me everywhere, she was trusting me so much that she didn’t even mind or flush when we slept together, she was genuinely caring about me, and she was now helping me to relax without even asking about the nightmare that caused all this.
And I? I was now planning to kill her father if he was involved in this!
I hid the twitches in my eyes and thought: ’Damn everything! Why is my situation so messed up!’
From the novel, I knew that Arthur and Elara genuinely loved their father. I didn’t know how to deal with that.
Yami might be clueless about that, but if he was so close to Lunara and I killed her, then I’d get a ghost from the mysterious abyss haunting me.
Zephyr and Cel...
’Wait, thinking of that, Zephyr may actually help me instead of being angry.’
Yeah, maybe only those 2 weren’t a problem. I could actually imagine Zephyr starting a rebellion in the novel by himself. That guy was just that insane.
As for Selene, she loved and trusted her father more than anyone and anything. If I found a proof for Isaac’s claims, would she believe me and let me kill him?
I took a deep breath and asked: "Selene, what would you do if someone killed your father?"
Selene frowned as her hands froze. "Why that question all of a sudden?"
I immediately made an excuse calmly. "You didn’t speak with him for a long time, it’s better to expect the worse to avoid some shock. I lost my family and know how it hurts, so I don’t want you to feel the same pain."
Selene’s eyes widened, showing many emotions such as empathy, sadness, panic, shock and worry.
I wasn’t lying, I didn’t want her to feel the same pain, but I didn’t mention that I might be the one causing it.
I intentionally mentioned my family to remind her that they were killed when I didn’t expect it. I wanted her to put herself in my shoes to really consider this situation.
"I... may try to seek revenge," Selene finally answered, taking a deep breath as she continued: "I can’t leave the killer after doing that, right?"
Hearing her answer, I finally asked the real question.
"What if, if your father wasn’t a good man?"
"Huh?" Selene farrowed her brows in confusion.
I teleported away, sitting in front of her and looking into her eyes as I began to explain: "What if the killer was on the good side. What if your father was never a good person? Do you remember what I said about the monsters in the forest? What if your father was a monster that only cared about you? What if he harmed innocent people to raise you?"
"I... I..." Selene hesitated, lowering her head and staring blankly at the water.
I wasn’t in a hurry, I kept waiting for her to answer in anticipation while also thinking about a question in my mind.
’If I killed a father, and his son, for example, found out and wanted to kill me for revenge, what would I do?’
Maybe I would first try to tell him about why I killed his father, and I’d do my best to fix that problem without killing or harming him, but what if he didn’t listen? What if he didn’t agree? What if he was blinded by sadness and fury? What if the worst possible scenario occurred?
Would I, knowing so well that he was innocent, kill him? Or would I let him kill me?
The former could be considered self defense, but that was technically my fault, so would it really be self defense? Wasn’t it like breaking into someone’s home and when they attack I give myself the excuse of self defense?
The latter wasn’t a better option either. If I just took a bastard’s life, why would I get punished and killed for that?
I never thought about that as I always hid my traces, but in a magical world, I couldn’t consider myself professional.
That question wasn’t only important for my morality, self and manners, but also to know my next move.
If Selene, Elara or Arthur blindly wanted revenge, what would I do?
"If he really did all that... then he isn’t my father." Selene finally broke the silence as she continued with a smile: "The man I consider my father would never do such things, so whoever does that isn’t my father and deserves death. Doing all that for me wouldn’t make it less bad."
"...."
Hearing her answer, I felt both painful sadness and immense happiness.
I felt happiness because I’d not need to make any choice if I ever had to kill Kyle, she was understanding me well.
But... seeing her smile and trust for Kyle, I could only hope that I’d not need to kill him, that he’d not break that trust.
The situation wasn’t hopeless actually.
My killing rule was about the intent. When I killed Taigo and Lynn, their intent was to cause harm for innocent people for their desires, whether those desires were good or evil.
If Lynn was clueless about what she was doing, I’d have left her alive. If Taigo was manipulated to do all that, I’d have left him alive.
Therefore if Kyle neither knew nor did anything bad intentionally, I’d not need to fight him. So there was some hope.
"....Why are you suddenly asking this?" Selene asked, frowning slightly.
I sighed before teleporting beside her again and carefully resting my head on her shoulder while avoiding her wing. "I can’t tell you, sorry."
Damn, she was really cold. Glad that my body is immune to the normal illnesses like fever.
Selene smiled as she put her hands on my head again and changed the topic. "Ho? I thought you didn’t think that was necessary. Do you admit that the book was right?"
"No, in the book, the boy wasn’t freezing."
"F-freezing?"
Seeing her confusion, I finally decided to tell her the truth as I explained: "I’m literally wearing an artifact so my head won’t freeze! Your body’s temperature is negative! Actually, and I’m rather surprised that you didn’t know!"
"...."
Selene froze as she looked at her body and the water, probably shocked by her new discovery about her own body.
If that coldness was because of her trait, she would have known, so maybe it was because of her draconian blood? That was possible.
Just then, she narrowed her eyes as she asked: "I’m sorry but, if I’m really that cold, then why are you always comfortable? Why didn’t you complain until now?!"
I didn’t talk for a moment, thinking about an answer, but then decided to be honest as I muttered: "....I got used to it."
Selene’s eyes widened slightly, then she burst into soft laughter.
’That wasn’t a joke, though...’
I really got used to the coldness after all this time, and after literally getting cooked inside the volcano dungeon, I realized that I actually preferred her over the fire.
’It doesn’t matter anyway.’
I decided to let her laugh for now, but just then, my mind drifted to the former question.
’If I killed Kyle, and she wanted to kill me, what would I do?’
Kill or be killed?
After thinking for a moment, I decided: ’I’ll be killed then, I guess.’
I’d never kill someone innocent by my own hands. If I did, I wouldn’t be myself anymore.
I already died once, I didn’t fear death, so I knew for sure that I’d never change just to save myself.
Just then, I noticed Glutton floating in the water, looking at us sharply with his azure eyes.
’Sometimes, I really forget about this bird.’