Chapter 1 Do You Know What It's Like to Die?

Have you ever died? I have.

I died the night before my college entrance exam. They were already wheeling me into the crematorium when that crazy old Daoist priest dragged me out of the drawer. He left me out in the sun for three days, and I came back to life.

Unfortunately, the crazy old Daoist priest stayed out in the sun with me for three days. He suffered severe heatstroke and died despite all efforts to save him. With his last breath, he handed me an abacus and a thread-bound book, telling me to take care of his funeral shop.

The old Daoist priest and I weren't related in any way, and he gave his life for me for no reason. I couldn't refuse, so I gave up on retaking the exam and came to this small shop with my bedding, becoming the youngest divine charlatan on Funeral Street.

Over the years, I haven't made much money, but I haven't starved either. When the time came for a class reunion, I made careful preparations and handed out a bunch of business cards.

The next day, before the alcohol had even worn off, my phone rang. When I saw the number, my heart skipped a beat.

It was the head-turning Chi Meiya.

"Wan Qian, why don't you treat me to a meal? I'll introduce you to a business deal," Chi Meiya's voice was as pleasant as ever.

I quickly agreed, saying that if the head-turner wanted me to treat her, I'd do it even without a business introduction.

Chi Meiya playfully scolded, "You smooth-talker."

I arrived on time for our lunch appointment, but Chi Meiya came alone.

I asked her where the client was.

Chi Meiya said that the client's request was a little embarrassing and couldn't be revealed directly, so she would relay the information.

The specific situation was that Chi Meiya had a friend who was a mistress to a big boss. After going through all sorts of hardships, she finally outlived the original wife. But then a whole bunch of other mistresses popped up, each one more beautiful, gentle, and virtuous than the last. Some even went abroad to get plastic surgery to give themselves the appearance of being lucky for their husbands.

Although my friend was a confident and charming little enchantress, she was a little unsure of herself in the face of these three thousand beauties eager to fight. She wanted me to set up a ritual formation to enhance her feminine charm and help her sing well in this palace drama.

If it worked out, I'd naturally get my fair share of money.

I laughed at the time. What friend? It was obviously a case of making up a friend out of thin air. If the mistress wasn't Chi Meiya herself, I'd eat the table.

Chi Meiya saw me looking at her and smiled awkwardly. She knew I'd seen through her, but she also knew I wouldn't be so rude as to say it directly.

"There are many kinds of ritual formations that can enhance a woman's charm, but to deal with this kind of life-and-death battle, a proper peach blossom luck formation definitely won't work. The gods and Buddhas deliver all living beings and won't fuel such boring things. You can only use an Yin-side formation to borrow power from evil spirits."

"Evil spirits act in unorthodox ways, regardless of consequences and unscrupulous. Therefore, Yin-side formations are powerful and take effect quickly. These are the advantages. The disadvantage is that the things evil spirits want can't be bought with money. If you want to stand out and overwhelm the three thousand beauties, you have to be willing to offer decent sacrifices."

Without thinking, Chi Meiya stood up and grabbed my hand, saying, "Whatever sacrifices you need, anything I have, you can take."

I calmly pulled my hand back and calculated on the abacus for a while, then told her, "Ten years of lifespan, plus a face. Labor costs plus various materials cost a total of 20,000. Think it over and bring the money, hair, nails, name, and birthdate of both parties to my shop. The formation will take effect immediately, and results will be visible in a week. If it doesn't work, I'll compensate you with ten years of lifespan. If you default on the debt, I'll demand double the reward."

This is the rule of the indiscriminate funeral shop: I don't ask about right or wrong, cause and effect. As long as you're willing to pay enough for what you want, I can make it happen.

I didn't wait for Chi Meiya to answer, or even look at her reaction. I got up directly, paid the bill, and left.

The head-turner of the past, the dream of so many boys, in the future, there's no need to even think about it.

On the way back to the shop, I encountered traffic control. I didn't know what had happened ahead, but all vehicles were prohibited from passing.

I had no choice but to turn around and take a detour. Just as I was about to start the car, an old woman carrying a basket of eggs walked over from the front section of the road. With a smile on her face, she tapped on my car window and asked me to give her a ride.

I let the old woman into the car and asked her about the situation ahead.

"What big deal could it be? It's just that the dog of the wealthy Wang family ran out. A group of security guards has been chasing after it with their butts in the air for a long time but haven't caught it yet. They're afraid the dog will get startled and run over by passing cars, so they've closed the road," the old woman said while pursing her lips.

This was indeed quite infuriating. The wealthy Wang family the old woman was talking about was called Wang Yongnian. He was a major real estate developer in our Hua City. The buildings in front were all developed by the Wang Group, which has always been quite powerful in our area. I just didn't know that he had become so lawless now.

What's that saying? Heaven wants to destroy someone, it must first make them crazy. This Wang Yongnian was probably about to reach the end of his rope.

I took out my abacus and planned to calculate a hexagram for Wang Yongnian, but then I thought better of it. Whether I calculated it or not wouldn't make much difference. I hoped that the big boss Chi Meiya was talking about wasn't Wang Yongnian, otherwise, ten years of lifespan and a beautiful face wouldn't be worth it.

The old woman lived in a village in the city. When we arrived at the village entrance, she was a little carsick, so I parked the car at the intersection and helped the old woman into the village carrying the basket.

As soon as she entered the house, the old woman vomited all over the floor. Her granddaughter quickly ran over to clean it up, but I still saw a lot of raw meat and blood in the vomit.

"You're not human?" I helped the old woman sit on a rocking chair and calmly asked. I even poured her a glass of water.

The old woman sent her granddaughter out, grinned at me, and said, "I'm sorry for making Master Wan laugh. This old woman used to eat incense and cultivate merit, but merit cultivates slowly, so I eat people every now and then. Now that I'm this old, there's no turning back. I'm just waiting for the day when my sins are full and I get struck by lightning.

I don't have any regrets or regrets in this life, and I don't have any attachment to anything. I'm just worried about my granddaughter. I took the liberty of inviting Master Wan over because I wanted to put something in the funeral shop, do a few good businesses, and save up some money for my granddaughter to protect herself. Then I can rest assured and face my tribulation."

I glanced through the window at the little girl playing in the yard. She was about seven or eight years old, wearing a bright red dress. Her body was extremely thin, and she didn't have any expression on her face. If it weren't for the color of the dress being too vibrant, she would have been like a shadow that would dissipate with a single breath of wind.

"Okay," I simply replied with one word.

The old woman's face immediately showed a relieved smile. She reached under the eggs, took out a kitchen knife, and slashed at her own arm, digging out her upper arm bone. She wrapped it in a red cloth and handed it to me.

I calmly watched all the old woman's actions, took out a section of black silk thread from my sleeve, tied up the red cloth package, said goodbye to the old woman and her granddaughter, and went straight back to the funeral shop.

There weren't many people on Funeral Street at noon. I placed the old woman's upper arm bone properly, leaned back in the rocking chair, read a book for a while, and fell asleep.

Drowsily, the ground suddenly vibrated.

I sat up with a jolt and saw Lao Zhao from the paper shop across the street, with a bruised nose and swollen face, falling at my door. The way he was gnawing at the ground looked a lot like a dog.