Chapter 1 "If I Tell You Who Sold the Coffin..."

"If I tell you who sold the coffin, will you let me be with the female ghost forever?" Old Qi squinted at me, his eyes darting around like a thief.

I said, "No, humans and ghosts are on different paths, separated by the realms of the living and the dead. Humans and ghosts cannot be together forever. Moreover, ghosts can only be reincarnated; they cannot become human. If you want to be with her forever, then you must also become a ghost."

"Then you should let the female ghost be reincarnated and become a living person to be with me," Old Qi said, leaning back in his chair with the air of a lord.

I said, "I'm sorry, the female ghost who is with you has already missed her chance for reincarnation. Unless there is a great opportunity, it is impossible for her to enter the cycle of reincarnation again."

"Then you should..."

"Don't speak yet; listen to me finish," I interrupted Old Qi before he could speak. "I know what you want to say. You want to say that if I want the information from your mouth, I must create this so-called great opportunity. If I don't have that ability, then sorry, you won't cooperate. You will continue to wait here for someone who can give you and the female ghost a great opportunity, right?"

"You're a smart kid; that's exactly what I'm thinking. So, do you think you have the ability to do what I ask?" Old Qi arrogantly tossed his head, which had only a few strands of hair left, showing no sense of shame for his greed.

"Sorry, I don't have that ability."

"Get out!"

Old Qi didn't give me any face and waved his hand, wanting to send me packing. Seeing that I was still standing there, not showing any intention of leaving, he picked up a broom and tried to sweep me out.

I wasn't angry. While dodging his broom, I said, "I advise you to be more clear-headed. The reason I'm telling you that I can't help the female ghost reincarnate as a human to be with you is because I don't want to deceive you.

I'm not the only one who wants to know the information about the coffin; you must have made this request more than once. You should know how the previous sorcerers agreed to you and what they did later. Having gone through so much, aren't you still clear-headed?"

That female ghost is full of sins. Do you think she can easily enter the cycle of reincarnation again? To take a step back, even if I used great magic to help her transcend, and truly sent her down there, do you think she can live a good life below with all those sins? Can she reincarnate so easily?

Even if she finally managed to be reincarnated, do you think she could be reborn into a good family? Would she still have such a beautiful appearance? Would she still remember who you are?

If you really want to be with her, don't have such wishful thinking. She cannot become human. If you two insist on going against the heavens, the outcome will only be more tragic.

Don't tell me any nonsense about how true love can move the heavens. First, don't talk about how much true love you have with the female ghost, or whether you're just coveting her beauty. Even if your love is truly great and noble, and you love each other's souls and don't care about appearances or material things, then are you prepared to endure hardships?

You're already this old and constantly feel that you should have a perfect love. You should have read many ancient love stories. How did those people struggle for love, what did they experience, and how many had happy endings? Can't you see that?

Since you've had the beautiful dream of pursuing love against the heavens, then are you prepared to face hardships? If heaven truly lets you be reincarnated for several lifetimes, enduring the pain of separation for several lifetimes, and then lets you be together, do you think you can wait?"

I said so much in one breath, and Old Qi finally sighed.

"Then tell me, what should I do? I really like her, and she likes me too. Although our feelings can't compare to those steadfast love stories, I still hope to be with her, to live a good life with her. Can you help me?"

I finally nodded. "That sounds more like it. If you want to be with her, it's not impossible. However, after all, you are in a human-ghost relationship. She is also an escaped soul from reincarnation carrying a heavy burden of sin. It is impossible for you to become a human couple smoothly. It may take many lifetimes of hard work to achieve this.

I can let you become a ghost couple. Using your life as a sacrifice, I will invite the Mountain God, the Earth God, and the Well Dragon King to be your marriage officiants. Then you two will build a temple for the officiant gods, and together take care of the incense in the temple.

As for whether you will accumulate enough merit over time to have other opportunities and good fortune, that depends on you. In short, as long as you don't make mistakes, you can at least always be lovebird ghosts in the temple."

"Is what you're saying true?"

"You can wait until I've finished taking care of things for you before you tell me about the coffin. I saw just now that there is a Well Dragon King in the old well behind your village. Although it's not a powerful god, it's still qualified to have a couple of ghost servants. He's been lonely for so many years. It would be good if you two could accompany him by the well.

The well is in the village, and the temple can be built next to the well. You don't have to give up your house or anything. You can still come back and visit often at night.

The wedding can be done in two hours, and you can be together afterward."

"Let me think about it, let me think about it, I have to think carefully." Old Qi turned around and was about to go into the inner room, his eyes constantly darting to a corner of the room, as if he was afraid of something.

"It's okay, I'm not in a hurry." I gave a polite gesture with a smile, letting him go back to the inner room to consider, or discuss it with someone. I wasn't in a hurry.

However, although I wasn't in a hurry, someone else was. Just as Old Qi lifted the curtain, before he could even go in, something grabbed his hair and yanked him out.

Poor Old Qi, who didn't have much hair on his head to begin with, had even more pulled out now. This made Old Qi's heart ache, and tears almost came to his eyes.

"Yun Niang, what are you doing? I just said I'd consider it; I didn't say I disagreed!" Old Qi said to a patch of air in front of him.

"Hmph, consider? Is there any need to consider these conditions? I think you're just greedy for my appearance and have no feelings for me at all."

"Yun Niang, you've misunderstood me. I've been with you for so long; don't you know my heart? I can do anything to be with you. Yun Niang, you have to believe me. Even if you don't trust me, surely you trust your own charm?

Yun Niang, calm down and go inside to rest. I'll discuss the wedding details with the master slowly."

"Can't you discuss them here in front of me?"

"This, wasn't I trying to give you a surprise? Don't worry, my performance in a moment will definitely satisfy you. Wait for my good news, wait for my good news."

Old Qi coaxed and deceived the female ghost into the inner room, then pulled me out.

"Where are you going? So sneaky. Is there anything you can't say in front of me?" The female ghost roared fiercely.

The female ghost didn't appear to me, and I didn't specifically open my eyes to see her. I could only sense a mass of yin energy. I didn't know if she was beautiful, but her temper was certainly not good. She was the overbearing girlfriend type.

This woman should be attached to an antique, which was brought out by tomb robbers. Logically speaking, someone from a feudal society that emphasized the "three obediences and four virtues," and a pitiful woman who had been buried with the tomb owner, should be very good at being submissive and humble, right? How could this female ghost be so fierce?

But then again, Old Qi wasn't some handsome young man. He'd been single for so many years. It was already good enough to have a fierce wife. What more could he ask for? A female ghost like Nie Xiaoqian was prepared for handsome scholars like Ning Caichen. Old Qi was definitely not suitable.

Old Qi pulled me out while looking back at the room, as if he was afraid that the woman named Yun Niang would chase after him.

I laughed. "Alright, you don't have to look back. As long as you are far enough away from the house, it's fine. The object she's attached to is in your house. She can't leave there too far."

Old Qi was still not at ease. He walked all the way to the edge of the village. After confirming that Yun Niang hadn't chased after him, he whispered, "Besides using my life as a sacrifice, can't we use something else? I've been with her for so long, and she's absorbed enough of my yang energy. Relationships are a matter for two people; I can't be the only one making sacrifices, right? Is it okay to use the ancient painting she's attached to as a sacrifice? Does the Dragon King collect antiques?"

I was amused by this old man. "I don't know if the Dragon King collects antiques. However, the place where the Dragon King lives is definitely not suitable for preserving ancient paintings. They'll rot in a few days. Your life is more solid."

Old Qi fell into contemplation again. He squatted on the ground and smoked one cigarette after another, finishing off more than half a pack before standing up and asking me, "Little Master, if I really have to use my life as a sacrifice, can I change the female ghost? This one has a bad temper, and to be honest, her appearance is just so-so. If someone else wanted to be with me, I wouldn't be looking for her. It's just that no one looks up to me, so I'm settling for her.

If I really need to give up my life to be with a female ghost for a long time, then I want to change to a beautiful one. I have an even more beautiful painting, which I also got from a tomb robber. Originally, I wanted to find that woman, but she didn't like me. That's why I found a maidservant.

If you really have the ability, then let me marry that miss. It'll be worth it for me to give up my life and be a ghost."

I glanced at Old Qi, not making any comment on his request, and just told him, "I can indeed help you invite the Dragon King, and I can also let you become a ghost couple. However, it has to be with mutual affection.

As for whether you want to marry a maidservant or a miss, that's your freedom, and also the freedom of the girls. You have to discuss it with them first, and then I can perform the ritual."

"If I take the miss to the well, will you still help us become a long-lasting couple?"

"Of course. As long as both parties involved have no objections, what objections can I have?"

"Great, I'll go find the miss now." Old Qi was overjoyed and ran home.

I followed behind, some things really shouldn't be stopped by me, he should learn by hitting a wall himself.

Old Qi ran too fast, arriving home before me. I wasn't in a hurry, slowly strolling back to Old Qi's house. Just as I got to his door, I saw Old Qi flying out of the window, his butt facing outward.

I quickly moved out of the way, letting him fall hard on the ground.

Old Qi rolled several times on the ground before barely getting up, rubbing his waist as he said, "You vicious woman, I've been with you for so long, letting you absorb so much of my yang energy. Now my back is hunched and my waist is bent. How could you do this to me? You, your conscience has been eaten by dogs, right?"

The female ghost in the room wasn't willing to be outdone, yelling through the window, "Who is the one without a conscience? I'm a virgin, and I've been with you for so long, not wanting your money, not wanting your looks, sleeping in the same bed with an old man like you every day. What's wrong with me absorbing a little of your yang energy? Are you at a loss? You can ask around, and it's only me who's not picky. If it was anyone else with a decent appearance, do you think they'd even look at you?

Why don't you take a look at yourself? You're a toad trying to eat swan meat, trying to have designs on our miss, are you worthy? Even if you're too poor to buy a mirror, you still have urine, right? Can't you take a piss and look at yourself?

I've been with you for so long, has it been easy for me? Do you think I sincerely want to absorb your yang energy? If I was sincere, would you still be alive now? I would have sucked you dry long ago. Isn't it because humans and ghosts are on different paths and I have no other way? Do you think I want to be full of yin energy?

When you were bullied by tomb robbers, wasn't I the one who stood up for you? I almost lost my soul several times for you, don't you remember any of that?

Now that we can finally be ghosts together, you're the one who's disgusted with me. Qi, do you have any conscience?"

As the female ghost cursed, she started crying in the room.

Old Qi, hearing this outside, also looked ashamed. He sighed, covering his waist with one hand, and hobbled back into the room.

"Wife, I was wrong, can't I be wrong? I promised you that I would always be with you, whether as a human or a ghost, or with humans and ghosts on different paths, I, Old Qi, will only have you. Even if a living virgin comes to offer herself to me, I won't even look at her. This time it's real, word of honor, don't cry, it's all my fault, I shouldn't have made you angry."

Although Old Qi's expression was still somewhat lewd, his words were sincere, and should be from the heart.

"You really mean you'll always be with me and won't嫌弃 dislike the scar on my face anymore?"

"I don't mind it, I don't mind it. You don't mind that I'm old, how dare I嫌弃 dislike you? Pack up, let's go to the well to invite the Dragon King. Let's get married now."

"You, you're really willing to give up your remaining lifespan for me?" The female ghost was truly moved this time, and her voice was filled with sobs again.

Old Qi seemed to still want to say a few words of love, but the words that came to his mouth turned into: "Alright, hurry up. Anyway, I won't die now, but I won't live for many more years anyway. The master is still waiting outside. If we delay any longer, I'm afraid I'll change my mind."

"I'm not afraid. You're mine in this lifetime, and you won't change your mind." The female ghost smiled through her tears and walked out with Old Qi.