Night
Gu Yin entered the palace, secretly, so no one noticed. But what he did inside remained unknown.
However, the Empress Dowager, who had been guarding Consort Shu’s side all night, finally returned to Ci'an Palace. She had been there for two days, and An Xin watched her with great concern.
But good news arrived shortly after the Empress Dowager’s departure: Nan Zhiyun showed signs of waking. She felt as though she had watched her entire life unfold in a dream, though in that life, her relationship with Yu Jingchen seemed different. She was very dependent on him, and he was gentle and patient.
Her heart ached, yet she couldn’t pinpoint the reason. Nan Zhiyun slowly opened her eyes. The scene before her shifted from the dreamscape, the current surroundings both familiar and strange. Her consciousness gradually cleared, and what lay before her became increasingly distinct.
This was… He'an Palace.
“Your Ladyship, you are awake?” the serving palace maid rushed forward upon seeing Nan Zhiyun stir.
Nan Zhiyun glanced at her. This wasn’t Qianxia. Ah, right, she was awake now, no longer dreaming.
“I will summon the Imperial Physician immediately,” the palace maid said, dispatching another servant to fetch him. Nan Zhiyun, however, showed no particular emotion.
The Imperial Physician entered to take Nan Zhiyun’s pulse. Throughout the examination, she kept her gaze fixed on the canopy above, showing no concern for the diagnosis.
“How is Consort Shu?” the palace maid inquired.
“Now that Consort Shu has regained consciousness, there is no serious issue. A few days of rest will suffice for her recovery,” the Imperial Physician replied. The palace maid felt relieved. If anything were to happen to Consort Shu, none of them would escape punishment.
The Imperial Physician prescribed medicine and withdrew, but remained at He’an Palace, fearing any sudden complications.
“Your Ladyship?” the palace maid asked, worried by Nan Zhiyun’s continued silence.
“Leave,” Nan Zhiyun uttered the two words coldly. The palace maid dared not disobey but was reluctant to leave Nan Zhiyun alone in He’an Palace.
Ultimately, she removed herself from Nan Zhiyun’s immediate presence but stayed nearby, watching from the doorway. Nan Zhiyun paid her little mind, perhaps not even noticing.
Her mind was in disarray. She remembered everything from her previous life. She remembered shielding Yu Jingchen with her body, living a lifetime with him, and faking her death to leave. Her emotions were a tangled mess.
She suddenly recalled the scene in the sea of fire. She remembered Yu Jingchen, unable to stand steadily due to dizziness, still carrying her and trying to escape the inferno. She remembered him ordering the palace maids to take her away. She remembered him asking if she hated him. And his final words, asking if the great fire could fulfill her wish…
Tears welled in her eyes, but she couldn’t articulate her feelings. Regret? No, she hadn’t done wrong. Pity? What was there to pity? If she felt pity, who would pity her?
So… what happened to him? When she left, she had seen Zichen Palace almost entirely engulfed by flames. The eaves were already collapsing. He hadn’t left when she did. So, what was his condition now?
Nan Zhiyun refused to believe he was gone. If that were the case, the entire palace would likely be in chaos by now. But if he were unharmed, what was he doing? Why wasn't he here? Was it out of anger and resentment?
Nan Zhiyun closed her eyes, feeling a surge of irritation. Why was she considering these things? Did they matter? What did his life or death have to do with her? Hadn't she stopped caring?
Yet… whenever Nan Zhiyun tried to calm herself, those memories would involuntarily resurface. Her heart ached. The emotions from so many lives were different, making it difficult for her to see clearly.
Despite the turmoil in her heart, her feelings towards Yu Jingchen… In her past life, she had watched her father murdered by him, and the Empress Dowager perish in the flames. The Nan family was wiped out. His repeated transgressions against her—how could she let it go?
But why did she feel this pain? At that moment, Nan Zhiyun felt rather pathetic. She should have hated him, even wished him dead. But now, with the memories of multiple lifetimes intertwined, she suddenly wondered if this cycle truly needed to continue. What was the benefit of persisting like this?
However, letting go was never easy. In her dream, she had experienced her past lives vividly. All those accumulated emotions made her hesitant and blurred her vision.
“How long have I slept?” Nan Zhiyun finally spoke.
“Replying to Consort Shu, you have slept for three days. The Empress Dowager watched over you during this time and only just returned today,” the palace maid answered truthfully.
“I have made the Empress Dowager worry. Please do not disturb her,” Nan Zhiyun’s voice was soft.
“Yes,” the palace maid understood the situation.
“Where is my father?” Nan Zhiyun continued to ask.
“General Nan also came, but with the recent turn in weather and General Nan’s worry for Your Ladyship, he felt unwell. The Empress Dowager therefore instructed the General to rest. The Imperial Physician examined him and said there was no serious ailment, just that he should avoid excessive worry,” the palace maid did not lie. However, to prevent Nan Zhiyun from worrying, she included the latter part of the physician’s assessment. Hearing this, Nan Zhiyun felt considerably relieved.
“Mm,” Nan Zhiyun responded.
Silence fell again in the room. At that moment, thunder began to rumble outside. Nan Zhiyun naturally reacted to the sound.
“The weather has been gloomy these past two days, looking like rain at any moment. Now that the thunder has started, the rain is likely to follow,” the palace maid explained.
Thunder… Nan Zhiyun had always been somewhat afraid of it. In her past life, after she and Yu Jingchen had reconciled… whenever it thundered, he would rush to her. She would hide in his arms, and he would tell her stories. Alas… those were just memories of the past, unlikely to happen again.
The palace maid looked at Nan Zhiyun, hesitant to speak on several occasions. She seemed about to say something but held back, as if contemplating something.
Finally, she couldn’t help herself: “Your Ladyship… after you came out that day, His Majesty was trapped in the inferno, he…” Before the palace maid could finish, Nan Zhiyun interrupted.
“Enough, I do not wish to hear it. There is no need to say more. He is the Son of Heaven; his affairs have nothing to do with me,” Nan Zhiyun suddenly became resistant. But was this aversion, or fear, or some other reason?
Despite Nan Zhiyun’s reaction, the palace maid did not give up. She immediately knelt: “Consort Shu, please forgive this servant. Please allow me to finish. That day, His Majesty refused to come out. He could not hold on any longer and fainted in the fire. The palace maids then carried His Majesty out. However… His Majesty sustained many injuries and was crushed by falling debris. His condition is not good. Furthermore, he was in the palace for too long and inhaled too much thick smoke… Consort Shu, forgive me, His Majesty has not yet woken…” the palace maid said.
Nan Zhiyun seemed dazed. What was the point of telling her all this? Even if she knew, what then? Could she wake him up?
“You may withdraw. I wish to be alone for a while,” Nan Zhiyun’s tone was devoid of emotion. The palace maid wanted to continue speaking, but seeing Nan Zhiyun turn over, the words caught in her throat and remained unsaid.
“Yes, this servant takes her leave…” This time, the palace maid did not press further. She exited the room. As she stepped out of the main hall, she remembered what Eunuch Xinglai had told her: to convey these words to Her Ladyship. But Her Ladyship didn’t seem to care much…
Nan Zhiyun lay on her side, the palace maid’s words echoing in her mind. She had thought Yu Jingchen was made of steel… So he too could have moments like these. She suddenly wondered, if Yu Jingchen woke up, would he hold a grudge? Wake up? Did she even want him to wake up? Wasn’t his current state her fault? Therefore, shouldn’t she wish for him never to wake up…
Just as Nan Zhiyun reached this thought, a loud thunderclap boomed outside. Nan Zhiyun, indeed, was frightened. The thunderclap made her flinch. She was scared, but who could she turn to now? Nan Zhiyun pulled the quilt up, covering half her face, but it offered little solace.
Meanwhile
Yulong Palace
Yu Jingchen had not yet regained consciousness. Xinglai guarded him, his anxiety evident from his expression. His Majesty… had never been so vulnerable, nor had he ever suffered such severe injuries.
Thunder roared outside. Yu Jingchen seemed to react. Like Nan Zhiyun, he was having a dream. In it, Nan Su and the Empress Dowager, along with Yu Jing'an, rebelled. He killed Nan Su with his own hands. And the sea of fire… Nan Zhiyun, Nan Zhiyun was inside… No, that was the Empress Dowager…
And Nan Zhiyun’s desperate cries, his forceful possession of Nan Zhiyun, and… driving her to madness… Why had he treated her that way?
Yu Jingchen’s head throbbed. Was this his memory of this lifetime? So she hated him, right?
Following this, with a deafening peal of thunder, Yu Jingchen’s consciousness returned, and he awoke.
“Your Majesty?” Xinglai jumped, followed by a wave of relief.
“She’s afraid of thunder…” Yu Jingchen’s voice was hoarse, undoubtedly due to inhaling excessive smoke, which had damaged his throat.
But at this moment, how could he afford to worry about such matters? He threw off the covers and got out of bed immediately. Xinglai tried to stop him but was shoved aside. His injuries ached, pain shooting through him with every movement.
Yu Jingchen strode directly outside, not even bothering to put on shoes or socks. His face was deathly pale, and the blood on his body seeped through due to his rapid movements. He went straight to He’an Palace, because Nan Zhiyun was there. She was afraid of thunder, and he wasn't there, what if she was scared?
Yu Jingchen’s sudden appearance startled the palace maids. He paid them no mind, heading directly into the hall. As soon as he entered, he saw Nan Zhiyun curled up. But in that instant, he seemed to hesitate.