Xinglai sighed. They had clearly developed feelings for each other, yet they had never truly been in love. After today's turmoil, repairing their relationship in the future… would be difficult, wouldn't it? After all, once a flower is broken, no matter how carefully you tend to it, it can never bloom as vibrantly on the branch again, can it?
Xinglai left the He An Palace, leaving Nan Zhiyun sitting there alone. Just now, she had said it was only a bowl of pregnancy-prevention medicine, so was the child still there?
Nan Zhiyun's emotions became complicated. She truly didn't know how she should face this child. Just now, she thought she was about to lose it, but why did it unexpectedly remain? If she were to muster such courage again… it wouldn't be so simple, would it?
She suddenly felt her emotions begin to break down. Slowly, she curled herself up, hugged herself, and cried in suppression. What had she done wrong? Why did heaven always give her tests? Why did heaven always make things difficult for her?
Nan Zhiyun's emotions began to spiral out of control. She knelt on the ground, her initially suppressed, low sobs turning into unrestrained, heart-wrenching cries. Heaven always played jokes on her. Wasn't heaven merciful? Then why was it always so cruel to her? She had never done anything wrong… They say good people are rewarded, but why are good people always insulted?
Outside He An Palace
Nan Zhiyun's cries became clearer. Yu Jingchen stood outside, listening intently. Xinglai stood beside him, looking up at Yu Jingchen. He truly couldn't understand why, if he still cared, he had to be so ruthless.
Listening to the crying from inside, the anger had long since vanished from Yu Jingchen's face. He hadn't left. He had been standing outside ever since he came out of the room. He heard Nan Zhiyun's cries clearly, and a myriad of emotions welled up within him. He couldn't articulate what this feeling was. Perhaps some feelings could only be experienced personally. From the moment that bowl of medicine was switched, he knew he was already different.
This difference was only in relation to Nan Zhiyun. He knew his feelings and attitude towards Nan Zhiyun had changed… But it was precisely this clear realization that made his emotions uncontrollable.
He had originally intended to sever ties. But when he reached the entrance of He An Palace, he realized that severing ties was not as simple as a few words. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to make that decision.
Nan Zhiyun… Yu Jingchen clasped his hands behind his back and closed his eyes. Images and scenes of her flashed through his mind. Today, when he saw her fall into the water, he felt a jolt of anxiety, concern, and even fear.
That's why he jumped in without a second thought. Seeing her in such a disoriented state, he felt uneasy, anxious. Then he understood. He truly didn't want anything bad to happen to her.
Before, he didn't understand why he was angry when Nan Zhiyun said she wanted to leave. He had simply thought it was because he was unwilling to accept it. Now, he knew. In truth, he didn't want her to leave. He was unwilling to let go…
Who was he? Yu Jingchen, the Son of Heaven, the ruler of this world. What did he lack? Was there anything he couldn't obtain if he wanted it? He had thought so at first. But just now, he realized there were many things beyond his control. Like Nan Zhiyun…
Just now, he had clearly seen the despair in her eyes, the surrender. And so… he panicked. He finally understood what he had been vaguely feeling he was losing: Nan Zhiyun's dependence on him, Nan Zhiyun's feelings for him… She had finally given up on him completely.
Heaven had truly played a cruel joke. When he was heartless, she developed feelings. When she gave up, he became attached. In that fleeting moment, he had even thought, perhaps he should let her go.
But as soon as that thought arose, he denied it again. Why should he let her go? He couldn't make such a decision. What did he want that he couldn't have? Did she think she could provoke him when she pleased and discard him when she pleased? These were things she had initiated herself… Now she wanted to withdraw? On what grounds could she do so so easily?
So what if she gave up completely? As long as he didn't agree, she would forever live in the palm of his hand. When he was happy, he would cherish her. When he was displeased, she would be smashed to the ground, shattered into pieces.
Let him torment her. He… would not let go. If she were willing to obey, and stop bringing up things that angered him, he could learn to tolerate her, indulge her. Conversely… she would forever live under his oppressive might. If she was disobedient, he would completely tame her. This world was inherently a place where the strong preyed on the weak. What fault was it of hers that she happened to be the weaker party? In this world, the capable always ruled. It was cruel, and never what she imagined kindness to be.
Yu Jingchen's hands, clasped behind his back, clenched tightly. Nan Zhiyun… It was truly a pity that you provoked me first, so you will never escape in this lifetime… Blame me, hate me, you ultimately cannot leave.
Under the night sky
One person stood outside the courtyard, and another knelt inside the room. The clear moonlight cascaded down, filling the quiet courtyard with light, yet making it feel even colder…
The moon might be bright under the dark night, but it ultimately only exists in the night… Is it fortunate or unfortunate? Who can truly say?
Yu Jingchen did not leave that night. He stood in the courtyard the entire time. Only when the crying inside gradually subsided did Yu Jingchen signal for the palace maids to enter. He didn't know what they were busy with inside. After about an hour, when the palace maids had extinguished most of the candles inside, they retreated.
"Doesn't she fear the dark? Did you leave a light on?" Yu Jingchen asked.
"Replying to His Majesty, a lamp was left on," the palace maid answered truthfully.
"Has she fallen asleep?" Yu Jingchen inquired again.
"The Consort has already fallen asleep. I only withdrew after she slept," the palace maid replied. She couldn't quite grasp the reason for His Majesty's actions now. Was it concern? But why didn't he go in?
"You don't need to keep watch anymore. Disperse," Yu Jingchen finally said.
"Yes." The surrounding palace servants retreated, leaving only Yu Jingchen standing there. He would guard her himself.