Half a month... time seemed very short, yet it also felt very long. No one could predict what might happen in these fifteen days.
"A'Su," the Empress Dowager looked at Nan Su.
"The morning court tomorrow is inevitable. You know what to say," the Empress Dowager instructed. Nan Su glanced at Nan Zhiyun, lying on the bed, "Is it possible?" he worried.
"We have to try, after all," the Empress Dowager said.
Nan Su said no more. The two remained in the palace, not venturing out. Outside, Yu Jingchen had not left his post. He stood rooted to the spot, having wanted to speak several times, but ultimately holding back his words.
After about an hour, the Empress Dowager summoned the imperial kitchen to send in food, as well as Nan Zhiyun's medicine. But... what went in, came out. Yu Jingchen naturally noticed.
"What's going on? Didn't Consort Shu take any of it?" Yu Jingchen couldn't help but stop the palace servants carrying the items.
"Replying to Your Majesty, Consort Shu is unwilling to take her medicine, nor eat anything. The Empress Dowager tried to persuade her, but... Consort Shu said she couldn't eat. She also said... the child is gone, so there's no point in taking medicine..." the palace servant reported.
Yu Jingchen's heart ached at this, but he was helpless in the current situation.
"You may withdraw," Yu Jingchen said. The palace servants took the items and left. Immediately after, the Empress Dowager emerged with Nan Su. Yu Jingchen looked at them; he now appeared like an abandoned person, disheveled and humble.
"She hasn't taken her medicine or eaten," Yu Jingchen stated.
"Does Your Majesty think she can eat?" the Empress Dowager retorted. Yu Jingchen was speechless.
"Yun'er wishes to be alone now. If there's nothing else, do not disturb her. Your Majesty should also return," the Empress Dowager said, giving Yu Jingchen no face at all. She was about to leave with Nan Su, but...
As they departed, Nan Su said, "Your Majesty, Yun'er has been spoiled since childhood and has never suffered hardship. However... this past month seems to have taken all the bitterness of a lifetime. She fears bitterness the most..." The most feared bitterness, but what kind of bitterness was this?
Yu Jingchen lowered his head, his mind involuntarily recalling Nan Zhiyun's changes in recent days: her lively self, her smiling self, her silent self, her wounded self.
Nan Su left the palace. The Empress Dowager did not disturb Nan Zhiyun's rest. This day was drawing to a close. Yu Jingchen had been standing outside for nearly half a day, about three hours. It was now dark outside.
"Your Majesty, let us return. It is dark now... come back tomorrow," Xing Lai reminded him.
"Is it dark?" Yu Jingchen seemed to finally react. He looked at the sky outside; it was indeed dark.
"She's afraid of the dark..." Yu Jingchen said. Xing Lai didn't react immediately, then remembered that Consort Shu was afraid of the dark.
"Guard outside," Yu Jingchen commanded. As for himself, he entered the room. After standing for over three hours, he finally made a move.
The room was dim. He tread lightly and lit a nearby lamp. His hands trembled with nervousness. Yu Jingchen looked at the person on the bed; Nan Zhiyun was asleep.
Yu Jingchen stood there as if afraid to approach. But now that he was here, how could he restrain himself? So, he took a step forward and walked to Nan Zhiyun's side.
Her face was devoid of color, looking heartbreaking. Such a Nan Zhiyun was extremely fragile, as if a single misstep could shatter her.
"I'm sorry..." This was the second time Yu Jingchen had said this. He used to think it was the most useless phrase, but now it was all he could say.
He reached out to stroke Nan Zhiyun's face, but stopped as soon as his hand extended. He didn't dare. What if he woke her? And if she woke, how would he face her?
His hand hovered in the air, then lowered. He could only watch her in silence. Yu Jingchen sat beside her. Last night, when he was with Nan Zhiyun, the lines on her face had disappeared when she slept. But now... why had they reappeared?
Yu Jingchen's gaze inadvertently fell on Nan Zhiyun's abdomen. If he hadn't been so agitated today, if he had retained a little more reason, perhaps none of this would have happened.
He knew Nan Zhiyun's health was not good, knew she was pregnant, so he hadn't truly tried to push her away. But perhaps he had been too irrational, causing Nan Zhiyun to fall.
Looking at Nan Zhiyun like this, Yu Jingchen admitted for the first time that he truly felt pity for her. He admitted he regretted it, admitted he was wrong, admitted... he didn't want Nan Zhiyun to be hurt, that he was soft-hearted towards her, that he pitied her.
"Don't give up..." Yu Jingchen uttered these four words. He knew he had made a mistake, so... could he be given a chance to redeem himself?
It was a pity, however, that Nan Zhiyun could not answer Yu Jingchen's words now. Moreover... how could she truly let this matter go? She had already suffered too much, so even if she healed, she would still feel pain... because she had experienced it countless times herself.
Tears slid down the corner of Nan Zhiyun's eyes. Yu Jingchen, lost in regret, lowered his head, his eyes stinging, and failed to notice.
Yu Jingchen sat by Nan Zhiyun's window in Ci'an Palace all night. The next morning, Xing Lai came in to call him, and only then did he realize it was daylight.
As he left, he looked at Nan Zhiyun, who had not woken up all night, his eyes filled with longing. He didn't know if he would have the courage to return later.
——♡——♡——♡——♡——♡——♡——♡——
Golden Luan Hall
The court
Nan Su, holding the military tally, requested to resign from his official post.
Yu Jingchen remained silent for a long time, but Nan Su had made up his mind, so Yu Jingchen had no choice but to agree.
"Please grant my request, Your Majesty!" Nan Su exclaimed.
Yu Jingchen closed his eyes. His head hurt.
"Granted..." he finally relented.
Nan Su seemed to have shed a heavy burden. Xing Lai went down to retrieve the military tally from Nan Su and presented it to Yu Jingchen.
Yu Jingchen finally had control of the military power, but he did not feel as relieved as he had imagined.
"Although Lord Nan has resigned, he has dedicated his life to the nation and its people, working tirelessly. I should reward him. Does Lord Nan have any wishes?" Yu Jingchen went through the motions. He could make amends... but it seemed too late now.
Yu Jingchen forgot that Nan Su had already relinquished his military power. He cared not for fame, nor profit, nor high official positions. All he cared about was his daughter.
"If Your Majesty truly intends to bestow a reward, this old minister has but one request." Nan Su knelt on the ground, not rising.
Yu Jingchen suddenly felt regret. He subconsciously wanted to stop him, but the words had been spoken, and it was impossible to retract them now.
As expected, Nan Su said the words he least wanted to hear, and feared the most.
"I have only one daughter, whom I have cherished like a treasured jewel since childhood. Her entry into the palace has greatly worried me. She is pure and kind, spoiled, and does not know how to please Your Majesty.
Since entering the palace, she has repeatedly angered Your Majesty. I... request Your Majesty to allow me to bring my daughter home. I dare not ask for anything more, only hoping to spend my remaining years with grandchildren and have my daughter always by my side." Nan Su kowtowed. At these words, all the civil and military officials fell silent.
Yu Jingchen said nothing. Those below tentatively looked up, but no one could guess the Emperor's thoughts. Even Xing Lai was sweating nervously by his side. Let her go? Was that possible?
"I cannot grant Lord Nan's request. Consort Shu has already become my concubine. It is not in accordance with propriety for her to leave now." Yu Jingchen's voice was calm, but Xing Lai clearly saw his hands clenching.
"Your Majesty is the Son of Heaven. As long as Your Majesty permits it, no one dares to say otherwise. Moreover, since Yun'er entered the palace, she has never received Your Majesty's favor, but has instead caused Your Majesty displeasure at every turn. Therefore, I implore Your Majesty to fulfill this sole request of this old minister. I... have only this one daughter..." Nan Su continued. Yu Jingchen fell into silence once more.
"Your Majesty! This minister has served the country with all his heart, fighting on the battlefield for over forty years, dedicating half his life to the frontier and to the Yuan Dynasty. I have protected countless Yuan citizens. This minister is without shame before Your Majesty, without shame before the Yuan nation, but I am only indebted to Yun'er. Now... I only wish to protect my only daughter. Please grant my request!" Nan Su's voice was impassioned. As soon as he finished speaking, some court officials stepped forward, shouting: "We beg Your Majesty to grant it!"
Yu Jingchen looked at the kneeling crowd below. He should have been angry, but now... he felt he had no right to be, and couldn't get angry. However, letting Nan Zhiyun go was something impossible.
"This matter... requires further deliberation. Let me think on it again," Yu Jingchen could only reply, otherwise, there would be no conclusion today.
"Court is dismissed." Yu Jingchen did not want to listen to anything else below. He did not want to stay here.
"Court is dismissed—!" Xing Lai understood Yu Jingchen's thoughts and immediately announced to those below. Nan Su looked at Yu Jingchen's retreating back, his eyes unreadable.
After leaving the court, the first thing Yu Jingchen asked was: "Has there been any news from Consort Shu?"
"Replying to Your Majesty, Consort Shu has woken up, but today she still hasn't eaten or taken her medicine. The Empress Dowager tried to persuade her, but despite several attempts, it was all in vain," Xing Lai reported.
"...Issue an imperial decree immediately, sending Consort Shu back to He'an Hall. No one is to obstruct. And without my permission, no one is to enter or leave He'an Hall." Yu Jingchen commanded.
"Yes," Xing Lai replied, then personally went to carry out the order. When the Empress Dowager heard the news... she did not obstruct. Xing Lai was somewhat surprised. He had expected this to be difficult, but it passed so easily.
However, as he left, the Empress Dowager asked Xing Lai to convey a message to His Majesty: "A move is made, no regrets. Does he still have a chance to play a counter-move? Do not let the situation worsen, do not make it more difficult to resolve. He can only try his best not to lose too disgracefully."
Xing Lai faithfully relayed the message to Yu Jingchen. Yu Jingchen said nothing upon hearing it, only asking: "When she returned, did she have any reaction?"
"Consort Shu was silent the entire way, showing no reaction..." Xing Lai said.
Yu Jingchen had already guessed, but hearing this still made him feel pained. Compared to her silence, he wished Nan Zhiyun would have thrown a tantrum.
But... the original her never dared to be willful in front of him, so how could she dare now?
Yu Jingchen went to He'an Hall. Many people were stationed inside and out. The guards outside were changed. He'an Hall was like a cage, heavily guarded. It felt like a prison, suffocating.
When Yu Jingchen entered, Nan Zhiyun sat listlessly on the bed, saying nothing, like a puppet. Yu Jingchen's heart was pierced.
"Are you feeling any better today?" Yu Jingchen mustered the courage to speak, his voice hoarse.
Nan Zhiyun did not respond. Yu Jingchen's heart grew cold. He walked to Nan Zhiyun and sat down. "You haven't eaten or taken your medicine today, why?" he asked softly.
Nan Zhiyun finally deigned to look at him. "Your Majesty... He'an Hall is like a prison. I am trapped inside, like a prisoner, being watched and guarded."
Her words pierced Yu Jingchen. He had no choice; he only wanted to be alone with her, so he had resorted to this method.
"I'm sorry... If you don't like it, I'll have them remove it later." Yu Jingchen compromised.
"First, eat something, alright? And you need to listen and take care of your body now, so you must take your medicine," Yu Jingchen continued.
"The child is gone. I don't need to take medicine anymore, I don't need to recuperate, because no matter how much more medicine I take, the child won't return, and there won't be another. So why should I continue taking medicine?" Nan Zhiyun smiled, her smile gentle, her words soft.
"Your Majesty is truly amazing... No matter what you do, you don't have to bear responsibility. No one can blame you, and no one will say Your Majesty did wrong." Nan Zhiyun continued, her words one after another giving Yu Jingchen a suffocating feeling.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong this time, but... I didn't know there would be such consequences, nor did I expect you to fall. It was not my intention..." Yu Jingchen said, his tone full of regret, even changing his self-address.
But what was the use of saying this?