Chapter 54: Chapter 54
"So don’t you dare say I didn’t want you until now. If you would have stayed, a day more. You would of had me on my knees begging you to forgive me. It was never about the way you looked Lily. Believe it or not I made a mistake, I was stupid because I was terrified. I was terrified knowing that I had to handle a whole pack in a year, at seventeen I was gonna lead a pack Lily. I don’t know what I was thinking, maybe I thought it would stall it but I was scared, of course I wouldn’t tell that to anyone. I’m the freaking alpha. It’s a shitty excuse but it’s what happened, I made a mistake. A mistake I’ll remember for the rest of my life. But it was never about the way you looked"
I stood there flabbergasted. What was I supposed to say? Oh god this was too much information to get in one day. What does this mean? Ethan never cared, he never cared about the way I looked.
"I-I" I tried to make a sentence but couldn’t
"Just forget it Lily." he snapped at me and then took a deep breath "just leave please, I need to calm down I’m not in full control right now"
I nodded and got out, I needed to think. All this time I was mad at him over the wrong things. now everything was out, what the hell was I going to do? I groaned and went to my room, throwing myself on the bed. How the hell did things turn out to be totally different than what I thought they were?
Lily’s P.O.V.
"That’s quite a change" Dave said as we walked down the hallway the next day at school. Ethan had successfully managed to avoid me this morning and I really didn’t know how I felt about that "What are you going to do?"
"I have no idea" I sighed, running a hand through my hair "It’s just so much to take in. I never expected things to get this complicated when we first came back. But I’ll tell you this we need to talk, me and Ethan. We can’t just leave it at what happened yesterday"
he nodded his head and stopped at my class "See you later" he kissed me on the cheek and I smiled and got to class. I sat in my usual seat and noticed Ren wasn’t there.
"Hey where’s Ren?" I asked Melissa and she shrugged
"I don’t know she didn’t show up today which is weird because we have a biology exam that she said she wouldn’t miss"
I frowned, maybe she was sick. But come to think of it she has been acting weird these past few days and she’s been avoiding me, I just knew it.
Lunch came by fast and when I was heading to the cafeteria when I felt someone grab me by the waist and take me to a room locking the door behind him. I would have usually kicked his ass but I already knew who he was, Ethan.
I found myself in an empty class. Ethan turned and stared at me as he walked towards me till I was backed up against a wall. He pressed himself closer to me and my breathing hitched, my wolf howling in pleasure at the closeness.
"Ethan I-"
"No don’t talk" he said huskily "We’ll talk later not now" he snaked one arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I started breathing heavily, his scent driving me crazy "Now we both need this" he pressed his lips softly to my jaw and worked his way to my neck. his free hand weaving through my hair.
I arched my back as he kissed my neck, biting my lip to keep myself from moaning as his lips hovered over where he would mark me. I panicked for a second and was about to say something but he just placed a gentle kiss and made his way up my neck, to my jaw, my cheek. Everywhere he placed his lips he left nothing but fire, hot fire.
He kissed my face all over and I could barely hold myself so he made sure to support me. he kissed the corner of my mouth and my I tilted my head to meet him, expecting his lips. His hand in my hair made me lean closer and our lips inches apart. he brushed his lips on mine and a low growl rumbled in his throat.
"I want to kiss you" he said and closed his eyes tightly "So bad" he kissed my cheek "Problem is I know you’ll feel bad after." His warm breath made goosebumps rise on my skin "Cause you’re with...him"
I shuddered and shook my head to clear my thoughts. "We need to talk" I managed to say and I felt him nod before placing one last kiss beneath my earlobe and pulling away.
"We do"
"Why didn’t you-" I started but my voice came out shaky and high-pitched so I cleared my throat ignoring Ethan’s smirk "Why didn’t you tell me before? About the search?"
Ethan shrugged "I guess I just forgot about it when you came back and I didn’t know you’d think your mate never cared about you" he shook his head "And when we had that fight in the car I got so mad I just. I don’t know what came over me" he looked at me, his eyes pained "Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t say all those things. If I just kissed you right then and there."
"That would have changed a lot" I said and looked down at my feet and closed my eyes"I’m sorry for assuming I just..I’m sorry"