Chapter 1 What Kind of Experience Is It to Sit Face to Face With Yourself?

It’s not tranquil serenity,

Nor is it silent gazing,

Even less is it a thousand words in a glance.

Zhou Ze discovered,

When he looked at himself in front of him,

The more he looked, the more annoyed he became!

He really wanted to smack him,

Wanted to beat him up,

Even,

Wanted to kill him!

Zhou Ze shuddered.

Was he going crazy?

Why would he have such thoughts?

If stabbing his past self, the one in the white coat, to death with surgical forceps was to help him find release, as well as himself;

If whipping the Moving Mountain Ape-Monkey to death as Xu Le was purely to vent and indulge in a dream,

Then why did he now have the urge to kill the self before him?

Moreover,

This impulse grew stronger the more he thought about it.

It was as if countless voices were in his heart,

Urging and bewitching him,

Kill him,

Kill the self before you,

As long as you kill him,

You will gain great freedom!

Anyway, it's a dream,

Kill him,

It's just a dream, only a dream, just a dream!

Kill him,

Give it a try.

The chaotic thoughts were about to burst Zhou Ze's mind.

Zhou Ze lowered his head, clutching it with both hands,

Letting his forehead hit the coffee table repeatedly.

"Bang! Bang! Bang!"

"What's wrong with you?"

The self in front of him put down the newspaper and asked curiously, while also looking at the old Daoist with some reproach. How did you let a lunatic in?

"I'm fine."

Zhou Ze raised his head and subconsciously reached for the coffee in front of him.

"Clap!"

Zhou Ze's hand and the hand of the self opposite him grabbed together.

There was no ambiguity,

Nor any other thoughts,

Much less any bullshit purple halo.

Zhou Ze knew,

The self opposite him was reluctant to let him drink his coffee!

He knew him too well!

"Heh heh."

Zhou Ze let go,

The self opposite him hurriedly picked up the coffee and drank it all in one gulp, not even afraid of burning himself.

"............" Zhou Ze.

What a prick,

How come he never noticed himself being such a jerk before?

*Huff,*

When the dream ends, I'll find a chance to beat up Lawyer An,

That guy probably holds a grudge against me for a long time.

"What do you want to do?" the self opposite him asked.

"I don't want to do anything."

Zhou Ze slapped the coffee table,

But made a "clang" sound.

Looking down,

Why was he suddenly holding a dagger in his hand?

"Clang!"

Zhou Ze threw the dagger away,

And said:

"Sorry, misunderstanding, misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?" The self opposite him looked to the right.

Zhou Ze also looked to his right,

And found a broadsword placed against his leg by his right foot.

A very exaggerated broadsword,

With patterned rings, the craftsmanship was quite exquisite.

"Clang!"

Zhou Ze kicked the sword away as well,

"This is also a misunderstanding, really a misunderstanding."

The broadsword fell to the ground, cracking a tile.

The self opposite him looked at the crack,

And frowned slightly.

"I'll pay to replace the tile."

"Oh." The self opposite him nodded. "Do you want to kill me?"

"............" Zhou Ze.

I didn't realize it before,

But I’m so smart,

I am me, after all.

"Kill me then, hurry up." The self opposite him reclined again, picked up the newspaper, and gestured for Zhou Ze to hurry up and do it.

So eager to die?

Zhou Ze stood up.

He was restraining the impulse in his heart,

This inexplicable impulse to kill himself and see what would happen.

And said:

"I don't want to kill you."

Zhou Ze spread his hands and shrugged to show his sincerity,

Then he noticed that he was holding a rope tied into a "circle."

"............" Zhou Ze.

"I won't resist." The self opposite him said, "Really, because I know what I am."

Zhou Ze put the rope on the coffee table as well.

This was his dream,

That's why it was so bizarre,

That's why it was so absurd.

This is a dream!

Opening his eyes,

His eyes were instantly filled with bloodshot veins.

He really couldn't control himself anymore,

Why,

Why was the impulse to kill the self opposite him getting stronger and stronger?

The self opposite him put down the newspaper,

Got up,

Left the sofa,

And walked to the door,

And said:

"Go for a walk together? Give you some time to brew the killing intent."

Zhou Ze also got up and went out with him.

The original "self opposite him" walked ahead of him, becoming the "self ahead of him," while Zhou Ze followed behind, the two of them only five steps apart.

A distance where, as long as Zhou Ze wanted,

He could kill him from behind at any time.

South Street,

A prime location with a consistently high volume of people,

Even in a dream it was the same.

The two of them, one in front and one behind,

Weaved through the crowd,

Without communication,

Not even eye contact.

This made Zhou Ze somewhat angry.

Was the self ahead of him so lazy that he didn't even have the will to explain?

Was he too lazy to even struggle?

So lazy, so Buddhist,

Then you should just die!

His mind went blank,

Zhou Ze's right-hand fingernails grew out, and he rushed to a very close distance behind the self ahead of him,

But,

Just as they were about to pierce,

The self ahead of him stopped.

Zhou Ze staggered, shook his head violently, and once again barely managed to restrain the impulse to kill the self ahead of him.

The self ahead of him seemed to be waiting,

As if silently asking Zhou Ze,

Why haven't you made a move yet?

"Heh heh."

The self ahead of him smiled,

As if mocking him.

Adding fuel to the fire,

Eager to die,

But Zhou Ze grabbed the wrist of his right hand with his left hand,

These fingernails,

Just couldn't stab!

The self ahead of him waited for a long time, seemingly tired of waiting, and simply sat down on the curb.

Facing the crowd,

With a warm spring and blossoming flowers.

Zhou Ze had never thought that he would have such a leisurely side, sitting and watching the clouds rise and fall.

Not afraid of death?

Was that still him?

The self ahead of him really sat down like that, with a telephone pole behind him, leaning against it, with many small ads for skin diseases at his feet.

"Hey, there's money here."

The self ahead of him pointed with some surprise to the corner under the telephone pole, which was a one-hundred yuan bill.

He leaned over to pick it up,

But when he opened it,

It was a photo of a nude model, along with a contact number, offering door-to-door service.

But on the back was a picture of a one-hundred yuan bill, very realistic.

"Heh heh."

The self ahead of him threw away this creative little card, letting it wait for the next destined person.

"Aren't you afraid that I'll kill you at all?"

Zhou Ze asked.

He didn't know why,

Even though it was a dream,

Zhou Ze had an unusual sense of reality,

As if this stab would very likely cause him to lose something forever.

The self ahead of him didn't answer, just sat there silently, smiling silently.

This feeling was somewhat unfamiliar to Zhou Ze. It didn't seem like him. He believed that, if he were in that position, he couldn't sit there so calmly.

He would fight,

He would definitely fight,

No matter who the opponent was,

He would fight for his life!

He didn't want to die,

But he also wanted to live without making any progress,

These two things seemed contradictory,

But in fact, they weren't contradictory at all.

If he asked himself honestly,

At least half of the people in this world were actually living like this.

They wanted to succeed, but they were unwilling to work hard; they liked comfort, but used it as an excuse to refuse to struggle.

They would suddenly wake up in the middle of the night,

Feeling that they shouldn't live their lives like this, that they should work hard, be motivated, and surpass others,

But when they woke up the next day,

Everything would be the same,

As if the self-reproach from last night was just a performance to comfort themselves.

"Afraid."

The self ahead of him answered.

"Also not afraid."

"Why?" Zhou Ze asked.

"Want to know the answer?"

The self ahead of him asked.

Zhou Ze nodded.

The self ahead of him stretched out his palm, and a long fingernail grew out on the index finger,

Then,

He stabbed the fingernail into his chest.

"Pfft!"

Zhou Ze only felt a stabbing pain.

Looking down,

He discovered that his fingernail was stuck in the position of his own chest.

It must be the experience of an excellent surgeon,

Knowing how to stab someone in a way that seemed exaggerated but wouldn't be fatal.

"Why?"

Zhou Ze asked, looking at the wound on his chest,

At the same time,

He slowly pulled out the fingernail.

"The answer is right in front of us."

Zhou Ze raised his head somewhat blankly,

Ahead,

There was still a surging crowd,

But where was the answer?

Suddenly,

Zhou Ze realized that he was sitting on the curb,

And the other self,

Was standing in the position he had been in before, speaking.

"This............"

The other self sat down next to Zhou Ze.

"This, is the answer."

"The answer..."

"Yes, I'm afraid of death."

A very honest answer,

Because Zhou Ze himself was also afraid of death.

"Because I'm afraid of death, I can never commit suicide at any time."

"Suicide..."

"That's right, why would I kill myself?"

The other self looked at Zhou Ze,

Zhou Ze was also looking at the other self,

The two of them breathed a sigh of relief together.

Then they faced the street together,

Looking at the endless stream of people in front of them.

"Even if the whole world abandons me, at least I can decide my own happiness and sadness."

The other self said with emotion,

"This is the life I want.

I'm already tired, so I want to be lazy, I don't want to do anything;

I also want to live shamelessly, and I don't want to die, so I can only be lazy and eat a lot.

I want to cherish the comfort I couldn't get in my last life,

Even if it ends in a day,

There's nothing to regret."

"A salted fish-like life?" Zhou Ze smiled.

"Yes, what's wrong with being a salted fish? I don't know how many people envy and want this kind of life but can't get it."

............

Behind the road,

Behind a mobile phone screen protector stall, a man in a black hoodie stood there, his fists clenched, full of disbelief.

Why didn't he kill him?

Why hasn't he killed him yet?

Not only didn't he kill him,

But the two of them were actually squatting on the curb together,

Smoking and shaking their legs,

Like two lazy bums from a deep mountain village who had eaten relief meals and weren't thinking about working, but were sitting on the dam basking in the sun and dozing off.

What on earth,

Why!!!!!!!!!!!