Chapter 1 A Battle That Could Shake the Heavens

A tremendous battle, about to break out.

The king of naughty children versus… the Park God of War.

[Hey, hey… what’s going on?]

This was a situation that no one had anticipated, and even more so, no one could guess the outcome.

[Why am I talking in square brackets again?]

“Come on, come on! Get your bets in early!” On the other hand, over at the “betting area” on the edge of the battlefield, Wu Xuma Lu was living up to his reputation as a betting ringleader. As soon as he saw the situation change, he immediately filled in the name “Honbu Taizo” on the notice board and wrote down the odds. “Mr. Honbu is very strong, only 1.5 to 1! Everyone, hurry up and place your bets!”

[So that’s how it is… Is the trick used in the ‘Scofield’s Monologue’ chapter making a reappearance…?]

At this time, the music had already stopped, but Wu Xuma Lu was still shouting with a megaphone, and even the people on the battlefield side heard his shouts.

[Is it really okay to write the protagonist’s constant internal complaints from a God’s-eye perspective? Is the author really giving up on life this time? Are you schizophrenic?]

“Hmph… that Si Ying bastard, really knows how to seize every opportunity…” Honbu heard the shouts as he walked forward, but he only muttered in his heart, “Forget it… he’s the strongest here, let him do as he pleases…”

Honbu was a discerning man; he knew very well that the strongest person here at this moment was actually the one in charge of the betting.

But the Unfortunate Youth, the heroes of the UFL (including Brother Jue), and the various alien races present were all unaware of this.

[Now that you’ve written it, I know. Or am I going to pretend I don’t know in the next chapter?]

Wu Xuma Lu seemed to be casually announcing the Park God of War's odds, but in reality… the odds for the Unfortunate Youth, the Bucktoothed Granny, and Honbu Taizo were all very objective.

Because… Wu Xuma Lu didn’t even need to fight; he already had a clear understanding of the strength of these three people.

[Why? Can you sense the strength of the opponent’s fighting power through qi? Are you also a student of Piccolo?]

“Hey! You with the straw hair over there.” Unexpectedly, at this moment, the Unfortunate Youth actually turned around and looked at the crowd in the betting area. “I’ve been watching you for a long time!”

The betting board over there was very large, and the Unfortunate Youth could undoubtedly see the words and odds on it clearly.

“You actually set my odds the highest?” Ignoring Honbu closing in on him, he loudly said to Wu Xuma Lu, “It’s fine if the Bucktoothed Granny is 0.1 lower than me, but the odds for this park sleeper are 0.4 lower than me? Are you blind, you bastard?”

[Is this really the time to care about that? There’s a strange uncle approaching you, can you focus a little?]

“Hm?” Wu Xuma Lu stopped shouting immediately when he heard this and met the other’s gaze. “Kid, how I set the odds doesn’t seem to concern you, does it?”

“What did you say?” The Unfortunate Youth’s eyes narrowed. “You straw-headed… looking for death!”

[He’s just stating a fact.]

The Unfortunate Youth’s sentence was obviously not a question because he attacked as soon as he said the word “death.”

He raised his arm and pointed, and a blue beam of light burst from his fingertip, heading toward the crowded betting area.

In that instant, many experts around, including ordinary aliens… strongly felt that this move would turn everyone there into ash.

[So powerful? A piercing gun?]

But!

“Hmph… laughable.” Wu Xuma Lu snorted coldly when he saw this.

In the blink of an eye, he had disappeared from his original position and flashed onto the trajectory of the beam.

[Looks like it’s your turn to show off.]

Chi—

The next second, the beam hit Wu Xuma Lu’s torso, but… the impact felt like a clay ox entering the sea.

The blue light entered through his chest but did not come out from his back…

About two seconds later, when the Unfortunate Youth noticed that something was wrong and hurriedly retracted his move, about 30% of the energy in his body had already been consumed.

[Star Absorbing Great Art?]

“Wh… what!” The Unfortunate Youth was shocked and took two steps back subconsciously. “Just who are you!”

[What a cliché line.]

“Who I am is not important.” Wu Xuma Lu said flatly and turned to walk back to where he had been standing. “The point is… your childish behavior just now has basically ruined your chances of winning.”

Before he finished speaking, an unexpected change occurred.

Just as the Unfortunate Youth was about to turn around in a panic… a pair of strong, powerful, and thick arms had already grabbed his neck.

[Ah… I told you not to look around.]

“Heh heh…” Honbu Taizo had an absolute advantage in height and weight over the Unfortunate Youth. When he executed this neck lock, he was already certain of his victory. “Kid, knowing that I was approaching you, and you still dared to look around… aren’t you underestimating me too much?” At this point, he mercilessly added strength to his arms. “Pay the price for your naivety!”

[You should shut your mouth and not set up such an obvious flag… you might actually win.]

“Haah—” Unexpectedly, at this critical moment, the Unfortunate Youth let out another long shout, and his fighting spirit suddenly rose.

“Don’t underestimate me!” After a line that was full of déjà vu, he once again used his desperate strength, trying to use his qi to blast Honbu away.

[See?]

However…

“Hmph…” Honbu just snorted coldly. “I already said you’re too naive!”

It turned out that Honbu had already activated the Family Ruin and Destruction Skill at the same instant, completely offsetting the impact with his profound skill.

“The match is decided!” Immediately afterward, Honbu grabbed the Unfortunate Youth and leaped into the air. “Secret Skill: Fall into the Abyss Together!”

No one knows who decided it, but these days you have to announce the name of your move when you fight.

[Tsk… I just like announcing them.]

Boom—

Seconds later, two figures fell to the ground together, and energy exploded.

A strong shockwave spread out in a ring, blowing away countless small fries.

But… the “match” had not been decided as Honbu had said.

“You… how is this possible?” Before the light and shadows had dissipated, Honbu’s shocked voice rang out. “Why are you still able to stand?”

[Old man, if you say a few more lines like that with that expression and tone, you’re going to lose.]

At this time, after the terrifying throw, Honbu and the Unfortunate Youth re-established their distance.

Honbu originally thought… even if the other party hadn’t been smashed into meat paste, he should at least have lost consciousness, but unexpectedly…

“This too, that too… there’s a limit to how much you can underestimate people!” At this moment, the Unfortunate Youth roared in anger and took advantage of Honbu’s unsteady footing and unsettled mind… and suddenly attacked!

[Oh, oh~ power up, power up~ it’s finally your turn again.]

“Delete Your Save File Fist! Dismantle Your Model Leg! Willful Tantrum Break! Crying and Screaming Eighteen Falls!”

[This kid’s move names are a bit whimsical.]

In the blink of an eye! While shouting out his move names, the Unfortunate Youth launched a storm-like offensive against Honbu, forcing the latter to retreat step by step, only able to parry.

“Hmph… Honbu, are you senile?” At the same time, Wu Xuma Lu, who was far away with his back to them, snorted coldly. “To use ‘Fall into the Abyss Together’ without even noticing that the other party has mastered the ‘Rolling on the Ground Golden Body’… ha… you’re the naive one.”

[So… you’re the commentator now?]

Boom, boom, boom…

While he was speaking, Honbu on the other side was getting beaten.

As the saying goes, “Fists fear youth,” and “A flurry of fists can kill a master,” which proves from the side… the importance of age, or rather physical condition, in battle.

[I bet the next part is going to be some serious nonsense.]

That’s right, Honbu was taller and stronger than the Unfortunate Youth in terms of size, but… by the standards of his race, his physical condition had already begun to decline, roughly equivalent to “a fifty-year-old Earthling.”

And Naughty Child aliens… had a natural advantage in this regard. Because they were an “ageless” race, they grew up to the stage of adolescence at most, and then stopped developing physically, maintaining this state until death.

[Forgive me for immediately thinking of racial reproduction and a series of very dirty images.]

This natural advantage was something that Honbu Taizo could not overcome; after all, the Naughty Child aliens were also a “fighting race” (there were many fighting races in this universe, each with different abilities, but they were obviously more advantageous than ordinary races in aspects related to combat), and Honbu didn’t have any particularly strong racial talent. All of his achievements today were due to acquired training.

[What achievements does he have? Is the homeless man who is invincible in the park receiving special state subsidies?]

From this perspective, even though the current Unfortunate Youth wasn’t as strong as Honbu, as long as he continued to train and improve his combat power, he would definitely surpass Honbu…

However, assumptions like this are actually meaningless…

It’s like we compare athletes from different eras with each other and imagine what the result would be if their peak versions had a duel.

[Can we not use athletes as an analogy? I feel like we’re doing them wrong.]

In this dog-eat-dog world, the result represents everything; if you want to prove that you’re stronger, you have to prove it with the victory in front of you…

[Ah… victory is not a beautiful thing, victory is crossing over mountains of corpses, victory is cruel. It is defeating, crushing, and completely destroying your opponent before adding the final blow to cut the weeds and eliminate the roots.]

“Hmm… indeed, I was careless.” After being suppressed for a moment, Honbu’s voice rang out again. “Well… this is fine.”

[Looks like it’s your turn…]

“You park sleeper… you still have the strength to talk?” The Unfortunate Youth hadn’t realized at this moment that the reason why the other party had this “strength” was that… his Unfortunate attacks weren’t as sharp as they had been in the first dozen seconds.

[Looks like you’re going to get beaten…]

“Kid!” Finally, Honbu’s face turned ferocious, and his stance changed from defense to offense. “Don’t get too cocky! I’m going to get serious too!”

“Nani!” In this split second, the Unfortunate Youth instinctively sensed some kind of danger, and his advance immediately stalled.

[Everyone can see that it’s because the author’s average level of writing fight scenes has been maintained at this level for years that I try to avoid similar head-on confrontations with people.]

“Unemployment Bankruptcy Palm!” Honbu’s counterattack began, using a move that seemed familiar. “Life Loser Kick!”

[I knew this guy would use these two moves…]

It was the same palm and the same kick, but the hidden power contained in these two moves was completely different compared to the “Delete Your Save File Fist” and “Dismantle Your Model Leg”…

The skills of the homeless school were vigorous with a hidden, continuous power, while the skills of the Naughty Child school were sharp and explosive.

Each had its own strengths, and in actual combat, it was difficult to determine who was better…

[Would you believe me if I said the person who wrote this kind of setting isn’t sick?]

“Ugh…” Soon, the Unfortunate Youth screamed in pain before Honbu’s counterattack and was sent flying while spitting blood.

But discerning people knew that the damage he received wasn’t that great… the Unfortunate Youth had only suffered “hard injuries” caused by the impact force, and the “hidden power” in the moves had been unloaded by him.

[Discerning people are awesome! How can you tell?]

“Hmph! Trying to lure me to chase after you?” Honbu also saw through the Unfortunate Youth’s childish acting at a glance, but… he still went for it. “Alright! I’ll play with you!”

[Sacrificing yourself to maintain your cool…]

Seeing the other party pouncing over, a trace of ruthlessness appeared in the Unfortunate Youth’s eyes, and he thought to himself, “What an idiot, knowing it’s a trap and still coming up… are you looking down on me? Good! I’ll make you regret it!”

With this in mind, he prepared his ultimate move.

He saw the Unfortunate Youth spin in mid-air and change his posture, thrusting out his leg: “Unfortunate Style Secret Art: Nine Suns Electric Light霹雳 Mad Dragon Pitfall Drill!” (Pili = thunderbolt)

[What’s your relationship with Dragon Tiger Gate?]

And Honbu, seeing the move… wasn’t flustered at all. In an instant, the corners of his mouth slightly curved up, and he took out a rocket launcher from somewhere on his body…

[Wait, what happened? I’m not seeing things, am I?]

“Ultra-Practical Judo Secret Art: RPG Attack!” As he said this, Honbu fired…

Whoosh—

The RPG roared, and a missile shot out of the rocket launcher with a howl, flying towards the Unfortunate Youth five or six meters away, meeting that “Nine Suns Electric Light霹雳 Mad Dragon Pitfall Drill.”

[What’s this drilling? What’s with the RPG attack? Leaving aside the fact that you're an alien, why is the rocket launcher you're using also called an RPG like the ones on Earth… what does this thing have to do with judo? Why don’t you just use a nuclear bomb?]

Bang—Boom boom boom—

An explosion occurred, and flames soared into the sky, with thick smoke billowing.

[Honbu himself was blown up at this distance, wasn’t he?]

But… the match was far from being decided.

Because… neither of the two had fallen.

[That’s true… after all, there’s one guy who smashed a spaceship like a missile and was fine…]

To be continued…

[To be continued, my foot! Do you think this is an animated series?]