Chapter 19 Saturday, April 19th, at Feng Bujue's Home

Xiao Tan, Bao Daren, and Jue-ge, three good buddies, were sitting side-by-side on the living room sofa, watching the television screen in front of them. The coffee table before them was covered in takeout, all of which was clearly funded by Jue-ge's manuscript fees and television program appearance rewards.

Feng Bujue had remotely synced a video file from his computer's hard drive to the TV, making it directly playable. The content of this file was the episode of "I Am a Writer" he had recorded a week prior.

"This episode will air next Friday. This... is a preliminary one-hour-long edited version. When it's officially broadcast, the content should be shortened to forty-five minutes," Feng Bujue said, raising the remote control before pressing the button. "Are you sure you want to watch this..."

"Stop talking nonsense," Bao Daren said. "Hurry up, my wife's waiting for me to come home for dinner."

Xiao Tan was already eager to watch. "Play it, play it! This is the first time I've seen someone I know on a TV variety show!"

"Ah... okay." Feng Bujue pressed the play button.

The TV screen began to display bizarre and blurred images, like something out of *The Ring*.

However, this phenomenon only lasted a second or two before stopping. It was probably a problem with the file. After all, this wasn't the official tape that the TV station was going to broadcast, so it was normal for there to be some flaws in the editing.

The picture cleared, and the camera zoomed out from a high angle, moving from a panoramic view of the stage to the center.

These days, the lighting technicians for large variety shows were all crazy. They wouldn't dare go out and greet their colleagues if they didn't blind the audience's eyes. This program was no exception. Numerous lights moved and flashed at high speed on the stage, and the camera shook wildly with the rhythm.

The contestant area, however, was pitch black. Seven contestants sat side by side, each separated by more than a meter, with an operating console in front of them. The lights shone at a strange angle, allowing the audience to clearly see the silhouettes of the seven people, but not their faces.

As the music started, a host walked onto the stage. Compared to a certain fat guy who entered with a horse-riding dance in the death quiz, this host had much more style. He wore a casual suit, headphones, and strode calmly to the center of the stage. After standing still, he opened his arms, and the lights stopped flashing at the opportune moment, focusing on him. The host bowed slightly and said, "Welcome to 'I Am a Writer.' I am your host, Oscar."

Two seconds later, the lights illuminated the entire stage and the audience, but the contestant area was still dark, like a scene from a horror movie.

Oscar was obviously a stage name. In this day and age, viewers could accept any strange name, as long as you didn't find someone named Jin Fugui to host.

"Alright, everyone, I'm sure you can't wait any longer..." Oscar turned and raised his arm toward the contestant area. "Today's seven contestants include six that everyone saw in the last episode. I believe many of you will be able to recognize who they are from their shadows..."

"Hey? Why does this guy say 'I'm sure you can't wait any longer' as his second sentence?" Xiao Tan asked in confusion from in front of the TV.

"Because in the officially broadcast version, Oscar has to read a long list of sponsors' names before saying that sentence," Feng Bujue said. "In recorded variety shows these days, this content is usually recorded separately, because it has to be read clearly and the timing has to be controlled. It might take several takes." He paused, then continued, "After each commercial break, a segment of advertising copy specified by the sponsors has to be inserted as well, and it can be as long as a *xiangsheng guankou* (crosstalk monologue). These aren't done during the live recording; they're recorded separately."

"I see... it's not easy being a host either," Xiao Tan said with emotion.

"Hey." Bao Daren reminded him from the side, "They're about to introduce the contestants. Quiet."

In the picture, the lights came on in the area of the first contestant. It was a bespectacled young man, around thirty years old, on the plump side, and dressed rather casually.

Oscar took out a note card from his suit pocket and began to introduce the contestant, using his pen name, of course. "Contestant number one, Xuan Tianzong. A well-known online writer. At thirty-two years old, he has already authored ten online novels with over two million words each. His works are extremely popular and have been adapted into games, movies, TV series, and more... He is one of the few writers whose annual income exceeds ten million. Editor's comments—Fluent writing, well-developed characters, exciting plot, the number one online fantasy novelist of today."

The host paused for a few seconds after speaking. Without the on-site director making a gesture, the audience was already applauding.

Then the area of the second contestant was lit up. It was also a young man, of medium build, who looked a few years older than Xuan Tianzong. The style of his glasses and clothing also seemed more mature.

"Contestant number two, Ba Shanping. A well-known online writer. Thirty-three years old, he has authored five full-length historical novels. Editor's comments—Solid knowledge base, grand and imposing writing style, profound work. One could say... a mind filled with volumes of classics, a pen writing ancient and modern tales."

Ba Shanping received equally enthusiastic applause and cheers.

Oscar continued to introduce, "Contestant number three, Shucai Guaguo (Vegetables and Fruits). A well-known online writer, holder of multiple records. He began writing at the age of eighteen, and his works are mostly urban fantasy. In ten years, he has published over twenty-seven million words and has never missed a day of updates, consistently topping the sales charts of major handheld reading websites. Editor's comments—Simple and fluent writing style, good at grasping the rhythm and tension of the plot, the king of wireless! A diligent genius."

Shucai Guaguo was twenty-eight years old and quite handsome. He also had the most fans, and cheers from the audience began as soon as he appeared.

"Contestant number four, also our only female contestant, Mo Buxiang (Ink Not Fragrant). The lady's age... is confidential." Oscar read here, smiled at the camera, and the audience laughed.

Mo Buxiang wore a ponytail, had a quiet appearance, and was on the thin side. Although not a great beauty, she looked pretty good on camera with makeup.

"She started writing five years ago and has authored six novels, covering six genres: supernatural, xianxia, urban, romance, gaming, and history, all published in physical book form. She was the highest-earning female writer last year." Oscar continued, "Editor's comments—Elegant writing, versatile style, truly worthy of the name 'talented woman.'"

The audience applauded again. Although Mo Buxiang didn't have as many die-hard fans as the previous contestants, many shameless male audience members regarded her as their second favorite writer.

Another contestant area was lit up. Contestant number five was also a man, around thirty years old, with a classic black man's mop hairstyle. He was wearing sunglasses indoors and looked quite sturdy.

"Contestant number five, Wo Yao Shangchang (I Want to Play). An online writer, a well-known sports magazine editor, and the author of thirteen short stories in the sports genre. His works are mainly realistic. His settings are rigorous, his professional knowledge is rich, and he is favored by sports fans." Oscar said, "Editor's comments—An author with substance, works with thought. Outstanding and undisputed in the same type of story."

After the applause, contestant number six revealed his true face. He was quite similar to Xuan Tianzong, with roughly the same image, temperament, and taste in clothing, but he was a few years older.

"Contestant number six, Qishui (Soda). A well-known online writer who specializes in ghost and supernatural stories. He has authored seven full-length novels, all of which are classics, and has been praised both inside and outside the industry as a contemporary master of horror." Oscar said, "Editor's comments—Every story written by Qishui can evoke the deepest fears in the reader's heart. The plot is meticulously crafted and ingenious. The title of 'master of horror' is by no means an empty name."

"Oh, oh! Is it coming?" Xiao Tan became excited when he saw this, because Jue-ge was about to appear.

Suddenly, the camera zoomed in for a close-up of Oscar. "Ladies and gentlemen, the seventh contestant is a newcomer joining us this episode. This stage is cruel. Each episode, someone will be eliminated, and the elimination rate for newcomers is as high as 50% this season..." He created an atmosphere of tension, making people even more eager to know the identity of the newcomer. "Will he be able to stay on this stage successfully? Or will he be like a meteor streaking across the sky, fleeting? Let us wait and see..."

A drum roll sounded on the scene. The spotlight flashed around, and finally, the whole place fell into darkness. The drum roll stopped abruptly, and the light stopped on Feng Bujue at that very moment.

Although Feng Bujue was just listlessly looking at the camera with dead fish eyes, the audience still burst into cheers and applause.

"Actually, when we recorded the show, the audience and us contestants entered the studio at the same time, so my appearance was seen long ago," Feng Bujue explained with disappointment in front of the TV. "This kind of reaction, as if they were seeing a monster appear, is all arranged by the on-site director. In reality, even if no one knew me, it wouldn't affect the stage effect."

Bao Daren said, "Hurry up and listen to how they introduce you."

In the picture, Oscar waited for the audience's reaction to end before saying, "Wow, contestant number seven looks very young." Although he had chatted with Feng Bujue a few times before recording, he still had to pretend to have just seen him. "I think some viewers have already recognized him, and some may have read his novels but never seen him in person. So... who exactly is he?"

The suspense had been drawn out long enough. It was time to answer. Oscar took out the note card and read, "Contestant number seven, Bujue. A well-known detective novelist. He has published twelve detective novels, and his works have been serialized in online, magazine, and newspaper publications. His writing style is witty and humorous, and uniquely original. Whether the length is long or short, the plot is ingenious and bizarre, and always unexpected." Oscar put down the note card. "Contestant Bujue, you were jointly recommended by the three behind-the-scenes editors of our program. They are all your fans."

"Is that so..." Feng Bujue replied perfunctorily.

Oscar continued, "Editor's comments—If you're good enough, but can't get ahead, at least make sure there's no second you."

"Heh..." The corner of Feng Bujue's mouth twitched.

Oscar immediately said again, "According to the habit of our program, each episode, we will let the newcomer give this episode a title." He walked to Feng Bujue's operating console. "Contestant Bujue, you have three minutes to consider. Let's take a short commercial break."

"What did you decide on?" Xiao Tan asked in front of the TV.

Feng Bujue didn't answer, but just pointed at the screen. Because this version of the tape didn't have commercials at all, and Oscar's next words were also recorded separately, after a simple scene transition, it was time for the reveal.

Oscar stood next to Feng Bujue, looked at the words he had written on the operating console. Then his expression changed slightly, and he glanced askance at Feng Bujue without leaving a trace, with a strange look in his eyes.

"Alright, let's see what title Bujue gave this episode of 'I Am a Writer'..." After all, Oscar was a professional host. No matter how outrageous the things Feng Bujue wrote were, Oscar had to remain calm on the surface.

As the host raised his hand, the five words Feng Bujue wrote appeared on the big screen on the scene—Qing Suíyì Tucao (Please Feel Free to Roast).