(Important note: All character names in this story are fictional and bear no relation to reality. Any resemblance is purely coincidental and intended as parody.)

Feng Bujue thought the opening CG would end there, but who knew… it was just reaching its climax.

With a flash of the camera, the "Introducing the Contestants" segment began.

The first to appear on screen was a middle-aged man in a light blue shirt and black trousers. He was Caucasian, with a very patriotic look, short brown hair, black eyes, and glasses.

[Contestant Number One – William Henry Bill Gatehat III. Renowned entrepreneur, philanthropist, and one of the world’s most accomplished software engineers.]

As the narration continued, intense sound effects and subtitles were inserted, and the camera began to rotate around the contestant 360 degrees.

[He is a maverick, unconventional, yet revered genius. Will his IQ of over 160 give him an advantage on the island?]

"What I'm interested in is… how someone with an IQ over 160 got talked into coming to this island…" Feng Bujue muttered to himself.

The next second, the screen switched to the introduction of the second contestant.

This was also a Caucasian man, appearing to be around fifty-five years old, with graying hair and black-rimmed glasses. He wore an expensive-looking dark blue suit with a shirt and tie, and leather shoes.

[Contestant Number Two – Warren Bafeite. World-renowned stock god, philanthropist, and investment guru.]

Like the previous contestant, the camera rotated as he was introduced…

[He is discerning, steady, and experienced. His wisdom in investment is unmatched. Will this wisdom compensate for his lack of physical strength, allowing him to stand out among the ten contestants?]

"Hey, hey… is this okay… it just changed the names, but the basic setup is completely the same as some super-famous大佬 (dàlǎo - big shots) in reality…"

Jue-ge's mumbling didn't change anything. The contestant introductions continued, and the third person quickly appeared on the screen.

This was a female contestant, also Caucasian. She wore hot pants and an off-the-shoulder white t-shirt over a black tank top. She had distinct facial features, a sexy figure, and long, shoulder-length chestnut hair.

[Contestant Number Three – Lindsay Lohan. Hollywood's Queen of Controversy, a triple-threat star in film, television, and music.]

[Having achieved fame at a young age, she has life experiences far beyond her peers; she once dominated the film industry, leading fashion trends, but also faced constant negative news, becoming a controversial figure. Her sexiness and personality inevitably make her the focus of attention.]

"The audience is vulgar enough…" Jue-ge thought. "Speaking of… what kind of group is it that watches a reality show like 'Wilderness Drug Survival'…"

[Contestant Number Four – Justin Bu Bo. Singer, actor, internet celebrity.]

The fourth Caucasian youth to appear looked to be less than twenty years old, with a feminine face; dark blonde hair flipped upwards, and hazel eyes that revealed an innocent look. He wore a white cotton tank top, revealing some tattoos; baggy hip-hop pants pulled low on his waist; and white sneakers.

[He is a rapidly rising teen idol in recent years, praised by fans as an artist with "handsome looks, clear and beautiful singing, musical and acting talent, and overflowing talent." Undoubtedly, his high popularity and youthful advantage will be his strongest weapons.]

"Heh…"

As Feng Bujue chuckled to himself, the fifth contestant came into his view…

This was a balding Caucasian middle-aged man, pot-bellied, with a decisive air between his eyebrows, and a slightly protruding chin. And his attire… was a complete tailcoat suit.

[Contestant Number Five – Solomon Rothschild II Baron. A member of the world-renowned financial family "Rothschild Family," an outstanding banker and financial scholar.]

"Hey, hey… what's with the 'Baron'? This guy's gotta be dead… Not only is he not a contemporary person, but his nationality is wrong!"

[He has outstanding diplomatic skills, speaking with sophisticated words and skillfully offering compliments. A banker who had dealings with Solomon once commented, "No one leaves him feeling anything but refreshed." This talent may also be the key to his victory.]

"I highly doubt it…" Feng Bujue thought. "In a game where only one winner can emerge, the only relationship that can be established between people is 'temporary mutual exploitation.' As long as both sides understand this, even without any diplomatic skills, they can reach an agreement with another person or people."

As Jue-ge thought this, the screen cut to the sixth contestant.

Finally, a black guy…

He was also dressed in a suit and tie, with a buzz cut; judging by his appearance, he was around fifty years old, and his features weren't exactly handsome, nor was his skin the color of a pure African, so… he was either mixed race, or just a soy sauce vendor (meaning unimportant/filler).

[Contestant Number Six – Barack Hussein Obama. Lawyer, politician, former President of the United States.]

"Hey!" Feng Bujue was shocked. "How did you guys catch this guy! Is this show run by aliens!"

[From a rebellious youth to a Doctor of Law to the President of the United States of America… He is a legend who changed his fate through hard work, and also the only celebrity who has proactively requested to participate in this show. Let's see how he performs.]

"Is the former President that lonely? Although I know that American presidents are not well-received after stepping down, and there's not even anyone who wants to assassinate them… But you don't have to court death yourself…"

Just as Jue-ge was shocked by Obama's appearance, an even more shocking contestant arrived…

[Contestant Number Seven – Osama Bleep. Muhammad Bleep. Awad Bleep. Born into a family of builders and industrialists, this season's mysterious contestant.]

"Mysterious my ass! Even the monks at Shaolin Temple know you're the leader of al-Qaeda! Adding three censored parts to his name is really sharp!" Looking at the gaunt, bearded Arab on the screen, Jue-ge completely lost it.

[The handsome contestant has five beautiful and educated wives, countless children, and enough family property to engage in various businesses…]

"What various businesses… Isn't that just terrorist organizations… And what's with this introduction that makes people think he deserves to die… It's so different from Obama's! This is a conspiracy by the American media!"

[Whether this mysterious contestant is a pampered person or an excellent warrior will soon be revealed…]

After the introduction of Contestant Number Seven, the eighth person followed closely.

[Contestant Number Eight – Ieste Gu. Graduated from the International Finance Department, handsome and noble rich second-generation公子哥 (gōngzǐ gē - young master).]

Accompanied by the narration, a yellow-skinned man appeared. Like Contestant Number Four, Bu Bo, he belonged to the youthful, handsome type, but he was a few years older. He had parted bangs, wore a casual suit, was handsome, and taller than Number Four.

[He is a diamond bachelor, the object of countless girls' affections. Ensnared in scandal, he was quickly forgiven by "all sectors of society," while some related people around him, several government law enforcement agencies, and even some drug-related bills were questioned and criticized. With excellent comprehensive abilities, he is regarded as the biggest favorite to win this season.]

"Um… compared to ordinary people, this is undoubtedly considered a 现充 (xiàn chōng - someone with a fulfilling real life, a winner in life)…" Feng Bujue muttered, "But appearing right after Number Seven, he just feels like an ordinary youth…"

[Contestant Number Nine – Stephen Carbon. Award-winning American best-selling author, who has written screenplays, column reviews, and has served as a film director, producer, and actor.]

Number Nine was also a Caucasian man, appearing to be around forty years old, with a patriotic look like Bill Gatehat, wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and slacks.

[As one of the most influential writers of our time, known as the "Master of Horror," he is clearly no stranger to thrilling things. The balance of intelligence and physique gives him considerable competitiveness in the game.]

"Carbon, huh…" If Feng Bujue could control his body, his expression would definitely be a twitching mouth and dead fish eyes, "Could you be any cheaper…"

[Contestant Number Ten – John Winston Lepus. Rock superstar, the soul of the "Beetles" band, poet, social activist, anti-war protester.]

The last contestant made his debut. He was also Caucasian, appeared to be around thirty years old, with light brown eyes and brown hair, a scruffy hairstyle and beard, and wearing a retro suit.

[Like many artists, Lepus took the road of drug use and didn't care. Having created many myths in the music industry, will he be able to create legends in our show?]

"With these ten unbelievable contestants… this show is already a legend…" Feng Bujue thought. "Ah… whatever, anyway, this introduction should be ending soon."

Indeed, this might be the longest script introduction that Jue-ge had ever seen, but… it wasn't over yet.

Boom—

A burst of fire, and the coolest scene in the opening CG appeared.

A lithe man in outdoor survival gear appeared in the center of the screen, and the narration followed: [And I… Bear Grylls, will serve as the referee and host of this competition. I will supervise and guide the contestants to complete the challenges and achieve victory.]

"Are you sure you're not just using these ten people as prey…"

[Now, viewers, please follow in my footsteps and enter this three-day ultimate game together – Wilderness Drug Survival!]