Da Si Ma Kelly
126 Vulgar Jokes
"Who was that?"
"Guess?"
"I don't need to guess, I already know." She replied with a prejudiced tone.
"You should try to get along with her with the idea of her being family." I corrected Pei Shi Yu's attitude.
"She was impolite first."
"I had just met her at that time..."
"Just met and she was already whispering in your ear?"
"She didn't say anything, just curiously asked me who you were."
Pei Shi Yu didn't say anything else. At this moment, Pei Xiang Long was already waiting at the entrance of the apartment, seeing the security guard greeting him politely.
"My car is parked inside today, is your dad driving over himself?"
"He probably thought you parked outside, he can just drive over."
I got in the car with Pei Shi Yu. After their argument, the sky was really darkening. As soon as I started the car, the headlights came on. There happened to be a woman passing by in front. I deliberately flashed the high beams, she had a good figure. In my impression, women with good figures don't necessarily have pretty faces, so with a curious mindset, I gently honked the horn. The woman in front turned her head quickly, which verified my thoughts. She wasn't pretty at all, with a large, coarse face, heavy makeup, and a frustrated expression on her face as she looked at my car.
I immediately turned off the high beams and smiled mischievously. Just as I was feeling pleased with myself, Pei Shi Yu suddenly scolded me:
"Is it fun? Are you interested in any woman with big hips? That's just the kind of person you are..."
I started to deny it: "I was shining the lights on your dad, honking the horn was to give him a signal."
"Am I an idiot or just blind?"
"Believe it or not, I was just thinking she was so ugly, it made my hair stand on end."
The reason I said this was to divert Pei Shi Yu's attention, but her thinking was very clear. She asked, "Why would she turn around if you didn't honk the horn? How would you know if she was beautiful or not if she didn't turn around? Wasn't your purpose for honking the horn to have lascivious thoughts!"
The word "lascivious" even came out. I wanted to laugh now but couldn't, I couldn't even show a slight smile, because Pei Shi Yu looked really angry now, the type to get angry at the drop of a hat. If I were to act cheeky and laugh, then I really would be acting like a jerk.
I really just wanted to play a small joke just now, I originally wanted to have a little fun with her, but I didn't expect such a result. My inner thoughts were all prepared. If she was a beauty, I would say she wasn't as pretty as Pei Shi Yu. Like now, I would say she had a devil's figure and a witch's face.
I put the car in drive and immediately looked towards where Pei Xiang Long was. I thought this embarrassing joke was already over, but Pei Shi Yu didn't intend to let go of what just happened. She said very seriously: "I don't want to comment or control how you used to live your life, but if you continue to act disgustingly like this in the future, then tonight will be our farewell dinner."
I immediately slammed on the brakes and asked, "What was I like before?"
"You know it in your own heart."
"It was just a joke, is it necessary to be so serious?" My voice began to rise.
"Is that your way of respecting women, or do you think you're very handsome? Don't you realize that your despicable behavior just now is very annoying!"
I didn't say anything else. Maybe it's really because of different cultures and growing environments, so the way we think about problems has a big difference. If Xiao Wu was sitting next to me, the two of us would definitely be having a great time.
I did promise myself that I would change, but many details need to come slowly, right? Just like what happened today, I would never make such a joke again, not only did I make myself look vulgar, but I was also called despicable by Pei Shi Yu.
I stepped on the accelerator again and drove to Pei Xiang Long's side. He was already a little impatient waiting, and began to complain, "What are you doing? It's only a short distance, why did it take so long?"
I didn't dare to say anything. Pei Shi Yu next to me was like a curse, I was afraid that I would say something wrong or accidentally offend her. I had already made arrangements with Wang Rui, and if my attitude had been a little stronger just now, then I really wouldn't even get a farewell dinner.
Speaking of Wang Rui, a picture flashed in my mind again. If I were with Wang Rui, I don't think she would suddenly go crazy like Pei Shi Yu. If it really was a vulgar joke, she would probably laugh and play along. This is the different reaction brought about by different personalities. I drove very fast and the whole journey ended in silence.
But when getting out of the car, I still helped Pei Shi Yu open the door. My only thought was to make up for my mistake just now. After she got out, Pei Xiang Long began to give his opinion: "You little brat are full of bad ideas, only know how to serve Pei Shi Yu, don't you understand the concept of respecting the old and loving the young?"
Today, I really felt like I had stepped in dog shit, no matter what I did, I would be nitpicked, and it always revolved around my character. I closed the passenger seat door and quickly went around to the back seat, opened the door with one hand, and blocked the door frame with the other, serving him to get out of the car in a doorman's posture.
"Are you satisfied with this?" I asked.
"No need to be so exaggerated, just take care of the elderly's feelings, don't make me feel awkward being in the middle of you two."
I think the most awkward person should be me. Pei Shi Yu next to me was still silent and watching my movements, just looking at her facial expression, it seemed like she hadn't recovered from the argument just now.
"Understood, I will do my best to make you the most satisfied from now on." I began to make empty promises again.
"Don't always talk big, only speak three-tenths of what you mean, if you speak too much, you will often lose credibility. You have to remember what I told you, don't say one thing and do another."
I was once again faced with an awkward scene, and I began to doubt myself. I don't know if I can change many of the habits that I've been used to since I was a child. Even if I can, I think it will bring about all kinds of tests.
"Let's go in." I could only skirt around their father and daughter's supervisor-like topic.
At this moment, I really felt a little like a child, a little overwhelmed. To cover up my panic, I put my hands in my suit pants pockets and used a cool pose to replace their "attack."
Just as I was about to walk in, Pei Shi Yu suddenly reached out and helped me remove a long hair from my suit. After I looked at it, I said, "Should be your hair, right?"
"The big-hipped woman's." After saying that, she left.
Her words finally eased all the tension just now, and I understood it very thoroughly. Like a child, I laughed behind her, and then quickly caught up with Pei Shi Yu.