Chapter 469: "I will be back."
"Yes, my Lord. I noticed a lot of strangeness in her lately."
Rohan’s expression didn’t change as he asked, "Tell me everything." He kept his back to Rav, hands in his pockets, as he stared at the fireplace in his son’s room, which had a cage-like front to prevent Angel from curiously poking his hand into the fire.
Rav spoke without hesitation, recounting everything he had observed, from the biggest changes to the smallest details.
"...Before this, she only took blood tea in the morning to feed the baby’s mild hunger. But lately, she’s been asking for heavy blood tea every hour of the day. And when it’s not made to her taste, she throws it at the servants serving her."
He paused, clearing his throat before adding the things his fiancée had also noticed and shared with him.
"She used to be very close to Evenly and would often guide her on how to manage her condition. But yesterday, when Evenly went to sit with her in the drawing room, to have some tea and talk like they normally do, Lady Belle told her, ’I’m not in the mood to talk to a woman who lowered herself to get pregnant for a servant. I’m sorry, I’m also dealing with the same condition as you and need to rest.’ Evenly said the lady tried to act carefree and like she didn’t mean the words in a literal way, but she knew she meant every word."
"Why didn’t you tell me about any of this?" Rohan questioned, turning to look at Rav with his brows knitted together in displeasure.
"Because she’s your wife, and she acts normal whenever you are around. And if you don’t see anything wrong with her... I don’t have the right to point them out to you, my Lord," Rav remarked with a bow of apology.
"Papa, she also put my ratty toy into the fire and told me it was dirty and not to carry it around," came Angel’s small voice from the bed, where he had pulled the blanket up to his chin, listening to their conversation and adding his own words to make his papa bring back his mother like she used to be before now.
Rohan’s eyes hardened like stone, and as if struck by an afterthought, he asked, "Have you seen the coat with my name on it? The one she gifted me on my birthday?" He had searched everywhere for that coat, yet she had told him it was in the laundry. Rohan had even asked the servants, but none of them had washed it, or seen it since.
Rav shook his head. "No, my Lord. The last time I saw it was the night you and the lady went out together. It was also then the changes in her began."
Rohan didn’t say anything after hearing that. He had only told Rav to help him put Angel to sleep and then left the room in long strides. Rav had wondered what the master would do now that he knew this, as he walked to Angel’s bedside. It was then he felt the first tightening pain in his chest, the familiar sting of the corruption.
Rav frowned deeply, pushing down the discomfort as he moved toward Angel, but the pain made him clenched his jaw.
"You in pain, Uncle Rav?" Angel had asked, noticing the look of discomfort on Rav’s face, but Rav shook his head and went on to sit on the edge of the bed, opening the storybook to the page Rohan had left off for the boy.
"I’m fine, Angel. Now, will you help uncle and sleep fast?" he said with a small smile despite the pain in his chest. Angel looked away from him, his eyes drifting to the fireplace, where the flickering golden light danced in his red eyes as he murmured,
"Can’t sleep because Angel misses old Mama..." He looked back to Rav and asked softly, "Will my mama come back normal again, Uncle Rav?"
The boy had looked so innocent as he asked those questions, and if only he knew how much Rav also wished Lady Belle would return to her normal self, to ease not just his worries but also the corruption eating away at his heart, and to also come back to her senses, for the sake of this little, adorable boy she had.
"Your mama will be fine. She will be normal to you again," he assured the boy, then began to read him the story. But Angel, polite as always, requested a blood snack since he hadn’t eaten much dinner as he had been sulking for losing his toy and from the fall on the stairs. Rav called for the servant to bring it to him.
Finally, Angel fell asleep after eating and drinking blood milk, and Rav quietly slipped out of the room, telling the maid on the way to go and clear the plate from the boy’s room. Though the discomfort in his chest grew tighter and sharper, Rav walked down the stairs, only to see his fiancée dozing off where she sat on a chair, waiting for him to come down.
Rav slowed his steps, his eyes softening as he momentarily succeeded in suppressing his pain. She was sitting with her legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles where the faint shimmer of her ankle chains rested, and her slightly swollen toes twitched. Her head was tilted against her shoulder, and her hands rested protectively over her round stomach. A simple ring gleamed on her finger, the one he had given her just a few days ago.
She looked so peaceful and tired that he wondered why she had chosen to sleep in such discomfort, waiting for him, instead of going back into their room that was just a short walk away from there. She was everything Alison wasn’t. His first wife had become so hot-tempered during her pregnancy that he’d feared saying or doing anything that might anger her, angry enough to throw a pillow at him and tell him to sleep on the floor so she wouldn’t be disturbed.
Evenly, despite her occasional mood swings, never let them take over her heart. And when she did raise her voice, she always came back to apologize, to kiss him and explain why she had lost her temper. She had never told him to leave the bed for her; instead, she liked to curl up close beside him, whispering softly and asking to be held through the night.
He had never thought he would enjoy his time with her or reach the point where they became so free with each other. He had never even thought having a partner was supposed to feel like this, like having a best friend with whom you could share everything.
There was never a day she complained about what she couldn’t have, and even though Lady Belle had recently started to hint and insult her subtly for settling for someone like him, Evenly never felt offended. Instead, she would come to him and say that the woman wasn’t the friend she once knew and something was definitely wrong somewhere.
Now, as he watched her sleep in that uncomfortable position, Rav wished he had no chest pain and could walk up to her and carry her without waking her up. But the pain was growing more intense by the second, and he knew that if he didn’t leave soon, he might fall down right there and then.
Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to leave her in that condition. Rav closed his eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out, then forced his expression to appear normal. He walked to her and gently tapped her arm. She came awake with a start and then smiled when she noticed it was him.
"Let’s go inside," Rav said quietly as he put his arm around her and supported her to stand. But when she stood, she slipped her arm around his waist and began to walk back with him as she spoke,
"Have you put him to bed?" she asked, referring to Angel.
Rav hummed in reply, using one hand to open the door of their room while still supporting her with the other.
"That’s good," she muttered, walking carefully with him as her belly had become so heavy that her steps had slowed. Rav always liked moments like this, when she relied on him and they walked and talked, but at this moment, when he wanted to cough so badly and was in such pain, he wished for the first time that he could just run out of the room.
"Rav, don’t you think it’s time we talk to the duke about Belle? Could it be that something like what happened in Aragonia has happened again, and we’re unaware?" she asked as they approached the bed.
Many times, Evenly had wanted to speak to Rohan herself, but she never got the chance. Before she woke up in the morning, he was already gone, and before he returned at night, she was asleep.
"I told him about it already," Rav replied, trying to make his voice sound calm and to assure her about the matter that had worried her just as much as it worried him.
"Really? What did he say? Did he believe you?"
Rav nodded his head and told her everything he had shared with Rohan, including the master’s reaction. "I don’t know what he plans to do, but he had that expression that shows he’s angry, just holding it down."
"I’m sure he’ll figure out what’s come over her. Because I know my friend and how she behaves, and that person isn’t her. I miss the Belle I know so much."
Feeling reassured that Rohan now knew everything they had noticed and would surely uncover the cause, their conversation shifted, with Evenly doing most of the talking.
"You know, Rav, I think our baby is going to be so big. Look how big I’m getting, and my stomach is..."
She stopped mid-sentence when she felt the temperature of his hand. Turning to him, she was met with his ashen face and lips that had begun to darken.
"Rav, your hand is cold and hot, and you face...Are you all right?" she asked softly, cuddling the hand that was holding her and bringing it to her cheek.
Rav nodded his head, unable to speak for fear that he would either break down in tears from the fear weighing on his heart or reveal the pain he was struggling to hide. He didn’t want her to see either, so he forced a smile, moved closer, and hugged her, holding her at an awkward angle because of her stomach.
"Rav..." she whispered. "You’re scaring me. What is it?" She moved back to cup his cheeks in her hands, studying his face.
Rav could no longer hide his emotions, so he told her, "Nothing. I’m just too glad to have someone like you in my life."
He used his hand to touch her smooth red hair and then placed both hands on her shoulders as he gently pushed her to sit down on the bed. "I need to step out to do something. Go ahead and sleep," he told her, knowing the pain was becoming more unbearable.
He could see in her eyes that she sensed he wasn’t fine, but before she could say anything more, he had already moved away to leave. She quickly pulled his hand, holding his fingers as she asked with a look of concern, "Will you be back soon? I can’t sleep without you on the bed."
Rav knew deep down that he might never be back, as this pain felt very different from the usual ones. But if this was his last moment with her, he wanted it to be less heart-wrenching for her. She didn’t deserve to carry the pain of losing him. Yet he didn’t have much time left to tell her everything he wanted to. One thing was for certain, he had to leave before he hurt her, as the scent of her flesh was becoming more enticing, almost like a delicious meal to him.
He moved forward, intertwined their fingers, and then slowly began to release them as he said, "I will be back."
And he would, by God, he wouldn’t allow this to be his last moment being himself. He would battle the corruption outside and come back to her. It wasn’t the first time the pain had been intense and then gone away after some hours.
This one would go away, Rav thought as he ran out of the castle.
But it never did go away.
He had killed a maid and eaten her flesh like a savage.