Chapter 208: Do you love me?
Once they arrived home, Zara carried sleeping Zane into his room and put him on the bed. Zane stirred but didn’t wake up. Yet, Zara lingered beside him, watching his cute face.
From the doorway, Nathaniel leaned against the frame, arms folded across his chest, silently watching them. He waited for Zara to get out of the bed and come with him to their bedroom. When she didn’t move, he became a bit restless.
"Are you planning to sleep here?" he asked, sounding impatient.
Zara looked back at him over her shoulder. "Yes. You go on and sleep."
"What?" Nathaniel straightened instantly, dropping his hands. He strode over the bed, his gait stormy with frustration. "Are you not coming with me?"
"Shh..." Zara raised a finger to her lips. "What are you doing? Can’t you see he is sleeping?"
But Nathaniel was adamant. He grabbed her hand. "Come with me."
"Nathaniel..." she murmured in protest.
Ignoring her resistance, he tugged her insistently toward their room. Zara tried to twist her wrist free, hissing under her breath, "Let go of me."
Her struggles only made him more determined not to let her go. He didn’t release her until they had reached their room, and in one swift motion, he pushed her down onto the bed.
Zara’s body bounced hard against the mattress – once, twice. Her heart jolted at the sudden, unexpected fall. She scooted away, trying to escape. But he was quicker. In a blink, he was on the bed, caging her in.
Zara’s heart jumped to her mouth, her hands braced against his chest, trying to hold him back.
"What are you doing?" she demanded.
"What do you think I am doing?" he grunted out, pulling at his tie and untying it impatiently. "You ignored me the whole day. I tried to talk. But you gave me a silent treatment. I endured, gave you time, hoping I’d get to talk to you later. Yet you want to shut me out again."
He pinched her chin, tilting her face a little. His gaze dropped to her lips. "I’ll never allow you to avoid me. You can’t escape me."
He leaned in closer, capturing her mouth with a fierce, urgent kiss.
Zara tried to pull back, twisted beneath him, and pounded her fists on his chest, desperate to slip out of his grip. She didn’t want to be treated like a tool to fulfil his sexual desire. She wasn’t an emotionless rag doll that could be used and tossed aside once his needs were met. She had feelings, and it pained her that he had someone in his heart but came to her only to satisfy his sexual urges.
She managed to push him away. "Stop," she exclaimed. "I don’t want this."
Nathaniel paused, his eyebrows furrowing with disbelief. "Don’t lie," he snapped back. "I could feel your body craved for me. Why resisting? Is it because you are still upset with me? Fine..."
He moved back, running a hand through his hair. He forced the rising frustration down and ground out, "Let’s talk. I want to hear you. What is troubling you? Tell me clearly."
Zara sat up, smoothing her top. Since he wanted to hear her, she would talk to him clearly. "Then tell me one thing clearly: who am I to you? A wife who only fulfils your needs? Or a wife you genuinely care about?"
"What is the difference?" Nathaniel couldn’t understand what kind of nonsense she was spouting. "Of course, I care about you. Isn’t that what marriage is? As husband and wife, caring for each other and meeting each other’s needs are only natural. Why are you twisting it like there is something wrong with that?"
"You are not understanding me," she groaned. "I mean to ask you – do you love me? Or do you treat me only as a body to satisfy your desires?"
Nathaniel’s scowl deepened, seemingly displeased. He didn’t like the implications of her words. He had never thought of her as a body that could satisfy his sexual needs.
"If all I wanted was sex, I could have found countless women," he grumbled with irritation. "But it’s not about sex. I’ve never seen you as just a body, damn it. Why would such ridiculous thoughts even enter your head?"
Facing his fury, Zara was momentarily speechless and confused. She had clearly seen him sleeping with Nora’s photo in his hands. It was obvious he still loved Nora. But what about her?
She wanted to know whether he had a little bit of feeling for her or not. She needed to hear where she stood. Just as she parted her lips to ask another question, he grabbed her hand all of a sudden, catching her off guard.
"You want to know how I feel about you. I’ll show you."
He forced her palm against his chest. "Can you feel my heart? Can you feel how wildly it is beating?" He dragged her hand down to his stomach. "Don’t you feel the heat of my body? Can’t you tell how much it craved for you?"
He pushed her hand further south, pressing it against his tight crotch. Zara flinched and tried to pull her hand back, only to make him press her hand firmer on his erection.
"This is what you do to me," he added, his tone turning husky. "Only you can make me like this. No other woman can. It’s only you."
Before Zara could process anything, he drew her to his chest and kissed her hard as if punishing her. "You are mine, my wife – the woman I want to spend my life with. Just keep this in your mind."
He was trembling now in fury at the idea she had let someone else’s nonsense raise doubts in her mind. Pressing her under him, he kissed her again.
Zara wanted to protest at first, but his assurance, the conviction of his words, melted her defense. His insistence that she was the only woman he desired, only one he wanted by his side, sparked hope in her heart. Though the reality of Nora would remain between them, she could bear it as long as he needed her.
She kissed him back in surrender, tugging at his shirt and drawing him in.
The kiss softened soon before he finally pulled back. His breathing came in ragged gasps as he pressed his forehead against hers.
"Why did you say such things?" he mumbled with sadness lacing in his tone. "Don’t you trust me at all?"
"I..."
"Don’t say anything," he silenced her, fearing she would push him away again. "Just feel it."
His mouth captured hers again, slower this time, more sensual than urgent.