My name is Liu Qingzhi. I have been the Empress's companion to His Majesty for ten years.
It has been fifteen years since I became his wife and accompanied His Majesty.
Today is my birthday, the third day of the twelfth lunar month.
His Majesty said he would spend it with me.
He did come, as always, his face etched with the harshness of the elements, his eyes colder than the wind and snow outside.
Even on my birthday, he did not speak more than a few words to me.
He presented me with a box of rare South Sea pearls, the most precious in the world. Yet, I knew this was merely a trinket the chief eunuch, Duke Du, had casually retrieved from the storeroom to appease me.
My husband, my Emperor.
The most noble man in this world sat opposite me, eating the food I had spent an entire day preparing, his face devoid of expression, as if all that remained for me was his indifference.
This indifference had persisted for ten years.
It had been so long that I felt we had both forgotten how harmonious and beautiful our marriage had been before he became Emperor.
Back then, I had been married to him for many years, yet we had no children.
Whispers and rumors spread about me outside, but he stood before me, shielding me from them all.
He once told me that even if I never bore children in this lifetime, he would not abandon me.
He had promised that he would always be before my eyes.
When did all of this change?
After dinner, he claimed to be tired and retired early.
He paid no heed to my careful adornment. By the time I approached the bed, his breathing had already become heavy and even.
Outsiders knew he treated me with great respect. Even with numerous concubines in the harem, he would visit me at least two days a month.
But no one knew that for three full years after I gave birth to Princess Xianning, he had not touched me again.
I knew this was all my own doing.
Ultimately... I was not the person he had loved before!
I deeply regretted it.
Under the candlelight, I sat back before my dressing table, stroking my face, which had begun to show fine wrinkles.
I knew he no longer loved me.
He had stopped loving me long ago, in the very year he ascended the throne.
I had done wrong, and I had done many wrong things.
I had listened to my mother and acted against those I shouldn't have.
—
This was on the eve of Mu Hanxu's rebellion, and not long after the late Emperor learned that Prince Chang's legs were healed.
My mother found me and told me that we could delay no longer; we had to act against Prince Chang and his consort!
In truth, my mother had said this to me more than once.
When Prince Chang first arrived in the capital, my mother had already spoken. She said this person was far from simple, possessing deep schemes and strategies. To have fought his way out of the harsh environment of the Southern Kingdom and returned to the capital safely was no small feat.
My mother had always been an excellent judge of character, which was why she had gained an early advantage and pushed me into the position of Crown Princess.
However, I desired a simpler life. So, I told my mother that the Crown Prince trusted Prince Chang, and we should not move against him.
My mother initially agreed, saying that Prince Chang's public support for the Crown Prince was an asset. Furthermore, with his legs broken and having married a woman from an outside family, he had no chance of contending for the throne, and would only ever be a loyal minister.
My mother believed it was best for him to be the Crown Prince's loyal minister.
He could help the Crown Prince solidify his reign, and also help me become Empress in the future.
As long as I remained loyal to the Crown Prince, everything would fall into place naturally.
But now, everything had changed.
Mu Changxi's legs had never been broken, and his consort, though of humble birth, had won the affection of everyone in the capital, including myself!
Yet, thinking of their unwavering loyalty, I still hesitated.
My mother called me weak and incompetent. She told me that if we didn't act soon, it would be too late.
We had to seize this moment, while Mu Hanxu was stirring, to shift everything onto him!
We had to do it without a trace, ensuring that they, the couple, could never become our stumbling blocks!
My mother asked me, would I be willing to watch Song Chaoyu ascend to the position of Empress one day?
My mother asked me if I truly hadn't noticed that the Crown Prince greatly admired that woman, Song Chaoyu, even though she was Prince Chang's consort?
As the Crown Prince's confidante, how could I not see?
I knew clearly that there was truly no turning back.
Thus, I agreed to my mother's plan, without the Crown Prince's knowledge.
I thought... perhaps we could give it a try?
If we succeeded, our path forward would truly be clear.
If we succeeded, the Crown Prince might grieve for a long time, but we would never have to worry about Mu Changxi affecting the Crown Prince's position, wouldn't we?
So, I nodded in agreement with my mother, and my mother promised me that she would handle everything.
Even if the truth were to come out one day, it would absolutely have nothing to do with me and would not affect the Crown Prince's perception of me.
I believed my mother.
I never imagined that the Crown Prince understood me so well!
Later, my mother's plan failed and left a trace.
I waited with trepidation for the Crown Prince to question me, but he said nothing.
Even Mu Changxi and Song Chaoyu acted as if nothing had happened.
This gave me the illusion that my mother could truly bear all the blame for me.
Later... the capital became busy.
I thought the matter had passed, as my mother had said, without a trace.
Until the night the Emperor ascended the throne.
After the enthronement ceremony, I was immersed in the joy of becoming Empress, eagerly awaiting the Emperor, my husband, to see me and our child.
However, by midnight, I learned that he was sleeping in the Imperial Study.
I summoned Duke Du to inquire why.
Duke Du merely sighed and told me, "Your Highness the Empress is so intelligent, can you not understand His Majesty's thoughts? Your Highness the Empress has made a mistake, and His Majesty has never spoken of it. You have not taken the initiative to admit your fault, and His Majesty is likely disappointed in you!"
At that moment, I felt as if I had fallen into an ice cellar, my whole body chilled, my heart pierced like a knife.
So, he knew!
Yes, how could he not know?
We had been together for many years, from times of hardship to an era of peace and prosperity.
I understood him as well as he understood me.
For two full days after his ascension, he did not come to my palace.
Even when I requested an audience, he avoided me.
Until the third day...
I prepared a banquet, my joy almost driving me mad.
He arrived, bringing with him coldness and anger.
At first, he said nothing, his icy countenance making him seem unapproachable.
Later, he began to drink, still without a word, one cup after another, one pot after another.
Finally, I couldn't help but speak.
I said, "Your Majesty, your concubine knows her mistake. I beg Your Majesty not to treat me with such coldness. If you wish to punish or reprimand, your concubine accepts it!"
He raised his head from the wine cup and looked at me with an utterly unfamiliar gaze. "How could朕 punish the Empress?"