Chapter 370: Excluded (2)
"I knew it would be like this, but I still had hope that you would applaud my efforts alone. Ally sat with the queen during the day, but the queen asked my mother and me to stay behind. That is all," Julie answered, still fidgeting with her fingers.
"You do realise that it would have been a wonderful chance for your dear cousin. Right? Ally would have benefited from getting introduced to the very men you spoke of," said Odessa.
Odessa wanted to see both granddaughters marry someone of good status.
"I know she would benefit from it, but it was my time with the queen. I do not disturb Ally’s time with anyone else. You may say that you wish to push forward the one you think will succeed," Julie said, wanting to hear it out loud for once.
"Julie!" Odessa gasped. "I love you both."
"I know that you love us both, but you have your favourite. Truly, I do not think that it is wrong, but I need you to realise it so I do not feel like I am imagining it. You think only Ally will find a husband, don’t you?" Julie asked, expecting honesty.
"I am not doing this with you," Odessa said, having had enough of this talk. "I have treated you both fairly."
"No, you have not. I know that I do things that a lady shouldn’t, so I disappoint you, but you do not treat us the same. Forgive me for wanting to understand myself or not wanting to give in to the old traditions you follow," Julie said, for the first time speaking her mind to Odessa.
Julie continued to say, "You wish to build a wife who will not question anything, and Ally is fine with it, but I am not. There are ways you may bond with me so I may not feel excluded. Do you truly think it doesn’t hurt my feelings to learn you two meet alone?"
"Ally shows interest in the season; therefore, I must give my time to her. I invite you to my home, as well as your mother, but you decline. I try to bond with you because I love you. Do you think I hate you? Or, is it that you think I hate your mother?" Odessa wondered.
It couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Had Odessa hated Eleanor, she would have stopped Reed from courting Eleanor since she knew of Eleanor’s family then.
"I do not believe you hate us, but you place my aunt and Ally above us," said Julie.
"Julie," Ally said, hardly believing what she heard.
"I do not," Odessa said, finding the accusation to be absurd.
"I understand it. Aunt Sally once came from a good home before it fell, and she found good work as the duchess’s maid. Meanwhile, you think my mother gives too much time to her books, and there is the matter of the brothels," said Julie.
"I do not hold the brothels against your mother. I simply thought she shouldn’t let your grandparents speak of it to you. Keeping a home in good order requires a lot of work. Your mother spends her days looking for the next story."
"I think she must be applauded for her ability to write and keep our home together. My father is away a lot doing work for the duke, so my mother does it alone, yet our home was never out of order," Julie said, proud of her mother.
"My mother defies the expectations of what a wife should be, but she is well-loved. Perhaps it is time to rid ourselves of old rules and let young ladies be themselves. We are all becoming a set of dolls who act alike with the only goal of pleasing our husbands," Julie said, terrified.
"You misunderstand me, dear. I do not try to treat your mothers differently. I push Ally forward because she wants to make the most of the season, not because of her mother’s family. I would have shown you the same attention if it were what you wanted," said Odessa.
It pained Odessa to hear that Julie thought this way. Nothing had been intentional.
Odessa wished she could enjoy the season with both Ally and Julie, but Julie didn’t have any interest in events.
"I know I have some faults in it because I didn’t share the same interest before, but now I do. Now I want to find a husband, and along with my mother, the queen aids me. Can you be proud of it?" Julie asked.
Odessa looked at Ally, curious if there was something wrong with Julie. "Child, I not long ago applauded you for it."
"And right after you spoke of not allowing Ally to spend the night. Can you speak of me and not throw Ally in? How do you understand needing to include her, but not me?" Julie questioned, her voice choking up as her emotions got the best of her.
"Julie, I have already explained what happened. I am happy that you are now interested in the events of the season, and I love that you are getting attention from the queen," Odessa said, making it certain Julie knew she was proud.
"However, this has always been a game for you, but rather serious for Ally. Now that I know, I will equally spend time with you," Odessa offered.
"I must decline. You do not notice when you compare us. While you speak of Ally’s achievements, you look to me like I should do far better. I will find a husband without you," Julie said, standing up.
There was no need to stay here any longer.
Julie didn’t know how to better explain the things her grandmother did.
Each time Odessa defended her actions, Julie felt like it was all her fault. Still, Julie didn’t believe that Odessa didn’t held Sally to a higher standard than her mother.
"Thank you for the invitation, but I need more time to prepare myself for the coming social events. I shall make you proud, grandmother. I won’t bear any hate towards you both for being so close, but it is natural to feel jealous. Please excuse me," Julie said, unable to stay at the table.
Julie walked away as Odessa and Ally called out to her.
Julie understood well that Odessa needed to pour more time into Ally, but there were family gatherings where only Ally, Caleb, and Sally were invited to. What did that have to do with the season?
’I’ll prove them wrong,’ Julie thought, determined.
It was only Odessa who doubted what could become of Eleanor’s daughter, but others who knew Eleanor’s parents owned a brothel.
Julie wouldn’t need Odessa’s attention. She would show that she could make something wonderful of herself without Odessa’s help.