Chapter 300: Chapter 300 - Weakness... Hers... And Mine
Her skin felt wrong - like the outside was too cold and the inside was too hot at the same time. Yet, she trembled in a way that suggested she was freezing. My palm quickly shifted to her forehead, but I hesitated.
To use the medical scan and see the temptation of her being in the list of Annexable people... or whatever would happen since she is already presumptuously on the roster due to the Fated Mate potential.
But she didn’t hesitate. Leaning into my touch like she couldn’t help herself. Like it was soothing... instead of as selfish as it was.
"Training accident. Real silver... hunter dispersal unit got mixed in with the practice ones. Meant to just have an aerosol irritant. I inhaled... not as much as last time, but..."
"Last time? This has happened before?"
I realized how high my voice had pitched. The panic in that. In hearing that there might be *silver* in her damned lungs. | Matron’s Monitor | was open, but my shaking eyes just wouldn’t tip towards the spot that would make my hand glow green.
"Few years ago. Wanted to understand personally what our security teams might face from hunters that turned blackguard. Had medical standing by. This wasn’t... wasn’t nearly as bad, but I couldn’t..."
She gestured vaguely toward the door to the hallway before I closed my eyes. Watching her arm lift so weakly, feeling how much of her weight used my hands for support?
> What am I doing? <
"Couldn’t let them see me like this. Not with everything going on."
"You broke my lock."
I whispered it like it was supposed to change something as my eyes opened just a fraction. Like it was a sticking point I wouldn’t be able to get over. Like I didn’t break my bedroom door just now.
"I’ll replace it. I’ll replace... anything. I just... I didn’t have anyone else. Letting them know means... being challenged or making the loyal panic looking for enemies. The other Alphas will know something is going on."
Her eyes found mine and there was something desperate in them. But it wasn’t fear for herself, it was something regal and strong - even though they didn’t and couldn’t glow orange with primal strength in the slightest.
Because she... and her wolf were just that debilitated. She wasn’t a flickering candlelight, but that brown was still a hearthstone that remembers the warmth of the blaze long upon it.
A seasoned piece of winter oak, that holds the Rimecoat together even if it became apparent that spring would never come again for them. As it would not, soon enough.
"...How long have you been here?"
"Few hours. Waited outside first, but other residents kept passing... couldn’t risk them reporting someone loitering."
She closed her eyes, swaying again as she tried to stop herself from leaning into me. Tried to pull away for Goddess knows why. Pride? My accusatory tone?
"I know. This violates everything about boundaries and consent. I know you probably want me gone, but I just... I can’t drive without risking a crash. Can’t go to a hospital. Couldn’t make it to the safehouses no one would check..."
Her words were getting more slurred. Whatever silver poisoning looked like to a werewolf in this world, she was obviously getting worse. The most powerful person in the city was shaking apart in my arms.
> And I have no idea how to fix her. Not without... <
"No hospitals. Keeping you hidden from your pack. Okay."
It took a lot of effort not to just quickly jerk up on her. To slowly maneuver and wrap my hands to lift her up with me as I stood. To take the first step toward my bed with her face in the crook of my neck.
Instead of out the broken doors and straight to the people she should have went to instead. Might have gone to if she’d never met me.
"We can work with that. But first, the floor is no place to rest, stu- silly wolf."
"Citra..."
Whispered like a prayer and like a complaint as she shook in my arms. Like I was the savior - and the one torturing her instead of the silver.
And I guess whether you are looking at our whole situation either as just this single moment, or across the entirety of knowing her... I am just that. A beautiful vixen that brings ruin to her doorstep.
> Yes, it was necessary to speak of my looks. An ugly, mangy creature would never get close enough to lead people astray. <
"I’m sorry. For breaking your trust."
I felt a warm drop of water on my neck that I know is only from the shower. I know it. Even though the damp towel on her head is cold.
"We’ll talk about it later."
Though I said this, I wasn’t sure which part we’d ever be talking about. Because if I could never mention, ever again, that my heart was racing with more fear now than when I thought there was an intruder in my home...
Once I had her settled carefully on top of the bed, I stalked away without looking at her face and grabbed every spare blanket that had been left in this furnished apartment. I would have given her my gray one too, if it wasn’t still in the shipping container.
"It’s too hot..."
"Maybe inside part of you, but your skin is freezing, Kyrie. Did no one ever teach you not to bathe in cold water when you have a fever?"
> Shut up. Don’t point out that the water on my neck was hot. Maybe she turned it hot right before she got out and it was only hot around... her face. <
My wolf didn’t seem to want me to get away with ignoring her tears. Which I can’t pretend not to see streaking her face when she stubbornly bats away the first blanket I threw over her.
"Would you like another water?"
She nodded after a beat, turning her head and pulling the blanket back up over herself obediently. Swiftly, I moved down the corridor as my thoughts tunneled.
My own kitchen felt strange and surreal... and when I stopped moving for just a moment to look around - just a moment, and everything in my head scattered in every direction. Leaving only a single thought.
> I want to run. <
I admitted it to my wolf. Because I didn’t know if I could *do* this. Or why I was so sure-
> If I try to help... and if I fail to help? <
She said she should be fine. But I can only think of dying, or her lying about it. Can only think of doing stupid things... after something like that.
> Things that will probably risk my life next, or worse... just the child’s. Things I wouldn’t have to do if I’d never... If I’d... <
In my mindscape, there was no Vrika sitting on the slab of Composure in the middle of a rooftop garden that I was speaking to. Only the same dark caves I hid in, in my youth.
And only a black furred werewolf clawing at what system bullshit was supposed to be *keeping me calm* in stressful situations. Only me.
While my companion just melded along with whatever I was doing. Not being separate, not letting me be separate.
> I can’t do this. I can’t handle it. I want to run. <
And I don’t know if it’s because it trusts me to do the ’right’ thing after I pull back together. Or if the spirit just knows what will happen if I pick the ’wrong’ one and it tries to stop me.