Chapter 192: Chapter 192
ASHAL
For the first few seconds after the doctor speaks, all I hear is a high-pitched sound ringing in my ears. Gradually, my vision wavers, then blurs. Every sound fade and every movement around me slow to a crawl—nurses pacing, monitors beeping, mouths opening and closing with no sound uttered.
Faces meld with the white walls of the hospital. My breath catches as doctor Ezra continues to speak. I see his lips moving, feel the weight of his words crashing toward me—but I can’t hear any of it. I feel someone grip my hand tightly. Mother? My entire family surrounds me.
But I still can’t hear anything that’s being said. Instead, I feel everything; the immense pain clawing up my chest, the trembling hands fisting in my shirt. Like the pain isn’t enough, the visceral scene of the incident plays in a loop in my head. My mind reels—spins backward—to the last moments. To Maddi curled against the floor, her lips parted in a scream I couldn’t hear. To her panicked eyes fluttering shut.
To Olivia—God, Olivia—with her arms cradled over her belly, hunched and bleeding from the nose, her teeth clenched in agony. Her eyes were wild, not just with fear, but with something deeper—protectiveness. She wasn’t scared for herself. She was terrified for her baby. For our baby. She had never looked more maternal than in that moment.
The images shred my heart.
No! They both have to survive. Neither of them deserves this. But the silence stretches on yet no one is saying their name. And with every second that passes, the less curious I am to know exactly what the doctor is saying. Because whichever name rolls off the doctor’s tongue will automatically mean one thing... the other is gone.
"Ashal? ASHAL!"
My mind snaps back to consciousness. My brothers are huddled close to me. Mother’s hands are indeed squeezing mine in support. Even father is still reeling with shock. I finally find my voice but it’s thick with raw pain as I ask him the dreaded question.
"Who died?"
***
A WEEK LATER
"Ashal?"
I burrow my hands between my thighs and draw a sharp breath. It’s been a week since the horror of the sit-down meeting yet nothing has changed about the way I feel; empty, hurt and dead inside.
"I..." My chest tightens as I struggle to find the right words. "I...uh...It’s...." I clear my throat but it doesn’t change much. While my head is a hive of ’what Ifs’ and the things I could have done differently to prevent the worst day of my life, I press my eyes shut and try to silence the noise and the blame.
"It’s okay." I feel Dr. Welsh’s hand on my knee. "Take a deep breath. You’re fine."
When I open my eyes, they’re blurry and wet. "It still h-hurts." Breath thick, hands trembling slightly, I clench my fists as visions of the sky lounge dotted with blood assaults me. "Why won’t it stop?"
"It will, Ashal, eventually. But you’ll have to be patient."
"There has to be some kind of pill to numb the pain and stop the nightmares..."
"I understand you’re eager to be rid of the pain of deep loss. I have a few, safe recommendations to make but firstly, walk me through everything you’ve been feeling since it happened. Trust me, Ashal." She adds, taking my hand, when I flash my misty eyes up at her. "I have lost a lot of people who were very dear to me. I remember feeling lost too but one truth I garnered from my experience is that with time, the pain ceases to be as raw as it feels now. You won’t always fake a smile and pretend to the world that you’re doing okay. One day, you’ll wake up with a genuine smile and realize you re actually doing okay again." Her smile is radiant and hopeful.
I nod at her.
"Good. Now, tell me what you felt when you woke up six days ago."
Her voice grows distant till everything goes completely silent. Then suddenly, I hear a different voice.
"Are you sure?"
Blinking, I whip my head back to find three faces like mine staring right back at me from the doorway. I’m not in Doctor Welsh’s office after all, but in my bedroom at my Penthouse. It has almost been emptied by the movers clearing up my stuff. Slowly, my brothers all advance towards me, a sympathetic hue coating their faces.
"What?" I asked, a bit dazed.
Ashley gives the bare room a quick, sweeping glance. "Are you sure you want to sell it?"
The question astounds me for a few seconds before reality dawns. My eyes skirt around the room. Of course, I want to sell it. It holds more painful memories of a past I want to forget than of special moments that I will treasure for a long time. I run a hand over my face exhale sharply. How soon can things go back to being normal for me? When will I wake up without the pain in my chest or the clawing fear of losing someone dear to me?
My brothers wrap their arms around me, reassuring me of their support. After we have the moment, they ease back.
"You need anything? Just let us know." Asher says, patting my shoulder.
"I will. Thank you."
After they leave, I torture myself by going from room to room, recalling flashes of memories made in this house, both the good and the ugly. The different shades of Olivia that I never could decipher until I stepped through the door. Lily with a faux smile that masked her wicked intentions. Then that one-time Maddi visited.
I can still smell all three women in every corner of the house. It gets so overwhelming that I immediately leave, only to find myself at the station thirty minutes later, sitting across from Lily.
This is highly ill-advised but I need some kind of closure. Lily has a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She looks like she had been expecting my visit, and realizing that makes me regret my decision to pay her a visit. I loathe her for what she did but somehow, I loathe myself even more for not seeing the signs early enough.
"You look haggard." She says out of concern. "Your beard...you need a trim. And your hair..." She visibly stops herself from reaching forward to touch my hair. "They’ve looked better."
"DON’T." I say in a low warning through gritted teeth. My fists are tightened. "Are you happy? Is this what you wanted?"
"I never meant to hurt you." I scoff at her reply but she continues, a plea on her lips. "I did what I thought was best for you. Ashal, you deserve as much love as you give. I couldn’t bear to see those women toying with your feelings. It hurt me."
"So, you thought killing them would make me happy?"
"No. I thought getting rid of them would finally allow you to see that the true love you’ve always sought was right in front of you; ME" She shudders in fright as I slam my fists on the table between us. Catching myself, I take a deep breath while an officer hovers close. Lily’s eyes are misty now, and droops to her thighs where she wrings her hands.
"The p...poison wasn’t..." She stutters, crying with her head hanging low. "It w-wasn’t meant to kill them. It was only supposed to...they lied to me." She leans forward with desperate eyes. "Ashal, you have to believe me. I had no idea it was fatal. I had no idea."
When she tries to reach for me, I pull my hands away. "The note only said to put two drops in the teas. I didn’t even know what the liquid could do but I was so consumed in my hatred for the Dunn sisters that kept you away from me that I was eager for our love story to begin. Please Ashal..."
I lurch to my feet, staggering a bit. "What? What note?"
Lily blinks and shuts her mouth.
"What note, Lily? Who asked you to poison them?" When she goes mute, I drop back on my seat. "If you dream of my forgiveness, you’re going to tell me everything about that note...NOW!"
Her lips tremble, along with her handcuffed hands. I snap my fingers in her face to draw her eyes back to me.
"Listen, you’re already behind bars, and you’re going to be for a long time unless I throw in my weight. Don’t you regret what you did to me? How you betrayed my trust? If you want me to forgive you in this lifetime, you’re going to help me get to the bottom of this. C’mon Lily, you claim to love me. Is this how selfish and wicked your love is? You’ll watch me in torment?"
"No!"
"Then start talking! What note, Lily? What did the note say?"
***
When I pull up at the mansion, I sit back in my car for a minute, and then some more. Till now, I’ve never been more certain that peace will always elude my family. No matter how calm things get or how happy we become, there will always be something or someone vile lurking in the shadows, waiting to swoop down and crash our lives all over again just when we think the worst is over.
And now, that evil is...
The sound of someone tapping on my window startles me. I didn’t realize I had zoned off on my steering wheel. Squinting, I make out the face of one of our bodyguards, Elijah. I gesture to him to note that I am fine, then unlock my car and get down. I give the gigantic fortress where I have spent most of my life a quick glance before going in.
My brothers are all about their businesses. My parents too. The domestic staff and bodyguards are all milling around, going about their jobs. Silently, I make my way to the elevator and take deep breaths when it opens up on the second floor. Then I make a beeline for the third room to my right at the end of the hallway. I knock twice, wait a beat because I need to calm my nerves before opening the door.
She turns from the window to look at me. The sad glint is still in her red eyes.
"Hi." I say to her, softly.
She only gives me a weak smile before turning back to the window.