So here I am, guys.
Sitting in this dimly lit bar, mood lighting way too romantic for my liking, in front of me sat Ruka — the goddess of deadpan stares — and right beside her, Junpei, the human embodiment of secondhand embarrassment.
After that ridiculous, over-the-top, confetti-filled, flower-shoving, budget magic show of an introduction, I somehow survived and made it to this table.
But oh boy… was it downhill from here.
All my view consisted of now was Junpei trying way too hard to impress and flirt with Ruka. It was like watching a small dog yapping at a cat who couldn’t care less.
The weird part though? Ruka wasn’t running away.
In fact… she kinda looked like she was enjoying herself.
I mean, she wasn’t laughing hysterically or anything, but she was smiling. SMILING.
The Ruka I had in my head? Cold, unapproachable, probably allergic to jokes.
But here she was… sitting through Junpei’s cheap pick-up lines and exaggerated high school stories like it was a damn Netflix romcom.
Sigh.
How long must I endure this?
Keiko, where the hell are you? It feels like I’ve been trapped in this social torture chamber for hours.
I glanced down at my phone to check the time.
9:00PM.
…WHAT?!
It’s only been ten minutes. TEN.
I audibly gasped. There’s no way. Time has slowed down out of pure pity for me.
I glanced back up at the two of them.
Junpei was still going at it, waving his hands, recounting some story about how we both "once dated the same girl and she couldn’t pick who was hotter."
God.
Junpei looked so damn happy. His face beaming like a proud dad showing off vacation photos.
I mean, credit where it’s due — the guy had guts. If embarrassing yourself was an Olympic event, he’d bring home gold for Japan.
I sighed again. This is modern flirting? That’s how it’s done now?
I glanced at Ruka and nearly choked on my drink.
Wait. Was she… laughing?
Woah, Junpei.
You’re actually doing it.
This madman’s pulling it off.
In my head, I imagined clapping for him.
I was still busy being stunned by this impossible development when suddenly—
"Right, Ryusei?"
Huh? I blinked.
"Huh? Sorry, what?" I hadn’t been listening. Too caught up in my own despair spiral.
Junpei grinned, catching my deer-in-the-headlights expression. "I was telling Ruka about how we’ve been best friends since high school and how we were basically the most popular guys back then."
He even topped it off with a wink.
I fought every cell in my body not to puke in my mouth.
"Well… I guess so?" I threw him a bone to keep the peace.
But Junpei wasn’t done.
"What do you mean you guess? Bro, you were like the two-timing master back then!"
He laughed like it was some great badge of honor.
Bro…
Why.
Why would you bring that up now.
In front of the girl you’re trying to impress?
Oh.
Wait.
This fool was nervous.
He was just blurting out random memories now.
"Stop it, Junpei," I muttered, running a hand through my hair. "That’s ancient history."
Junpei laughed, still not picking up on the fact that he was digging his own grave. "Geez, you’ve gotten so serious lately, man."
I sighed.
I glanced at Ruka, fully expecting her to be awkwarded out.
But no.
Her face was flat as usual… though I thought I spotted the tiniest twitch at the corner of her mouth. Like she was a little bit amused.
Or maybe that was just me desperately searching for a lifeline in this hellish double date.
"Look," I cut in, taking a quick shot of my drink. "We didn’t come here to talk about ancient Ryusei lore. This night’s about you… and Ruka."
I pointed to Ruka for emphasis.
Her eyes widened just a little. Maybe she wasn’t used to people putting her on the spot.
"Sorry, Ruka," I sighed. "You must be uncomfortable with us. We’re basically old men already."
I half-expected her to confirm it. To say, ‘Yeah, this is weird, I’m leaving.’
But to my absolute shock, she shook her head.
"It’s fine," Ruka said calmly.
"I actually enjoy this. Junpei’s funny, even if I know most of his stories are bluffing. And he exaggerates a lot. Even though we’ve only been… what? Friends for 20 minutes."
Junpei froze mid-sip.
His eyes sparkled.
"Friends?!"
He clutched his chest dramatically.
"Friends?! Uhuuuu!"
He pretended to cry on the spot, earning a few side-eyes from other tables.
I smacked the back of his head. "Oi, idiot. What did you expect? You’re lucky she’s even calling you that after this circus act."
Junpei sniffled like a kicked puppy.
"Okay… sniff… I’ll take it."
I sighed again. This dude never changes.
And just then — thank god — my phone rang.
Keiko.
My savior.
I quickly excused myself, leaving the two to their blooming chaos, and stepped outside to answer.
"Keiko? You okay?" I asked, concerned.
She sounded exhausted.
"Uhm… sorry, Ryusei," she sighed through the line. "I don’t think I can come. I messed up my report just now."
I leaned against a wall, the cold air a relief after the madness inside. "It’s fine. Honestly, they’re getting along better than expected. Ruka’s even smiling, you know."
That caught her off guard. "Seriously? Ruka? Smiling?"
I chuckled. "Yeah. I guess Junpei’s weird brand of cringe comedy works on her."
"Well… good for him," she laughed softly. I could tell she was worn out though.
That kind of laugh people make when they’re running on empty.
"You need help?" I asked gently.
Keiko, being the hard-headed workaholic she is, tried to brush it off. "Nah… I’m good."
"You sure?" I pressed. "Where are you now? Home?"
"Nope… still at the restaurant," she admitted sheepishly.
I sighed. "What time you heading home? You’ve eaten?"
A pause.
"Ahhh," she groaned. "Now that you mention it… I haven’t."
I couldn’t help but chuckle. I could picture her face in my head — lips pursed, one hand on her head, probably scolding herself.
"Go eat something, idiot," I said with a smile. "I’ll wait for you at home."
She was quiet for a second.
"…Thanks, Ryusei. Take care, okay?"
"You too." I ended the call with a small, warm smile.
For all her tough exterior, Keiko was hopeless when it came to taking care of herself.
I took a deep breath of fresh air.
Yup. Decision made.
I was getting the hell out of here.
I marched back into the bar, where Junpei and Ruka were now engaged in some kind of rock-paper-scissors death match over who’d pay for drinks.
They actually had better chemistry now.
Perfect.
"Guys," I called. "Keiko’s not coming. Sorry."
Ruka just shrugged. "That’s okay."
I grabbed my jacket, grinning like a man on death row getting parole.
"Since the double date’s off… I’m heading out too."
Junpei looked up in horror. "Oi, what the— I’m not paying for all this!"
I waved him off. "I’ll pay you back. Good luck, lovebirds!"
And with that, I made my grand escape.
I heard Junpei yell "Oi! I’LL SEND YOU THE BILL!" and I shouted back "GOT IT!" before disappearing into the night.
I practically sprinted to the restaurant.
Some things were more important than bar drama.