“WHAT. IS. HAPPENING?!”
The sharp voice cracked through the air like a whip.
I turned my head so fast I probably pulled a neck muscle.
It was Ruka.
Not just any Ruka either — this was “I-will-end-you-if-you-ruin-my-kitchen” Ruka.
She stood at the kitchen doorway with that same terrifying glare she usually reserved for chefs who overcooked the rice. And behind her? Miko peeking out like a curious raccoon, holding a ladle like she was ready to defend herself if necessary.
Oh. God. Damn you, Junpei.
Even Keiko’s face twitched.
“Sorry if we’re too loud, Ruka! But it’s nothing — problem handled!” I jumped in, trying to neutralize the situation like a bomb squad diffusing a live grenade.
“Who’s we?” Aki’s smug voice immediately cut in.
This little gremlin.
I swear one day I’m gonna yeet her into the nearest trash bin.
Aki stood there with her teasing grin, hands on hips, eyebrow raised like some annoying side character whose sole purpose was to ruin your social cover.
“Nu-uh-uh, Ryuko. What’s going on here?”
She was practically wagging her finger at me.
I mentally screamed.
God, take me now.
Ruka really gave me that look.
You know the one. The “are-you-causing-another-mess-because-I-swear-I’ll-shove-you-in-the-dishwasher” look.
“We’re good, Ruka, don’t worry,” Keiko said smoothly with her classic calm smile, saving my sorry butt yet again.
Ah… my beloved.
I unconsciously threw a tiny heart sign at her.
And right on cue, Keiko visibly shivered like she just got hit with a winter draft and shot me a death glare.
“Stop doing that,” she hissed.
I grinned. Totally worth it.
Meanwhile — you wanna know where Junpei was during this high-stakes restaurant drama?
Being an idiot, as always.
I glanced over… and there he was, sitting at his table with this dumb, dopey grin, totally zoned out.
What was he looking at?
I followed his line of sight and my soul immediately left my body.
Oh for the love of— it was Ruka’s boobs.
I could practically see the sparkles in his eyes. The man was practically drooling.
“Hey… Ju— I mean, uncle.” I hissed, snapping him out of his hormone-induced trance.
He didn’t even flinch.
“Uhh… miss… what’s your name?” He called toward Ruka.
I swear I heard a thunderclap in the distance.
Keiko immediately coughed loudly and stepped in, voice sharp as a kitchen knife.
“Sorry, sir, we’re in the middle of work. Everyone, back to your stations.”
God bless this woman.
Ruka’s eyes stayed on me like a sniper with a bead on their target. I gave her a nervous thumbs up, praying to every deity in existence.
And Aki? That little menace leaned close and whispered, “How was it, ninja girl?”
I wanted to throw a chair at her.
---
Time passed.
Junpei’s friends all left one by one, but this guy…
HE STAYED.
What is he, a stubborn cockroach?!
The restaurant was practically empty except for him, smiling like a lunatic and sipping water.
I kept wiping tables, pretending he didn’t exist.
“Psstt.”
Nope.
“Pssttt… hey… don’t ignore me, asshole.”
For the love of—
“Sorry sir, but we’re closing soon. Last orders already announced. Please visit us again next time!” I said with the fakest customer service smile I could summon.
But then came the cursed word.
“Ryuseiiiii~” His voice was soft but carried like a damn siren.
I bolted over like lightning, slapped my hand over his mouth and hissed, “Didn’t I tell you not to say that here?!”
He pouted like a five-year-old.
“You ignored me.”
I sighed.
“Okay, what the hell do you want?”
And like a proud middle schooler with a crush, he pointed his thumb at the kitchen and whispered, “Introduce me to Ruka. That’s your job now, bestie.”
Bestie?!
I didn’t remember signing up for this friendship.
“Junpei, no. Just— no.”
“Why?! Isn’t she your co-worker? Don’t be a petty little punk, man. I even told you my tragic ex stories!”
“It’s not like I don’t want to… it’s just… complicated.”
I side-eyed the kitchen and muttered, “I’m kinda not on good terms with her right now.”
His eyes lit up.
“Aha! You’re perving on her, aren’t yo— OWWW!”
I whacked him upside the head before he finished that sentence.
“No, you idiot. She found out about me. You know, me-me. The past me.”
He paled.
“Whoa… did not see that coming.”
“Yeah, well, neither did I.”
Just then, Aki’s voice cut through the air.
“Oi, Ryuko! Stop flirting with the old dude and help with closing!”
Flirting?!
I was about to hurl a salt shaker at his head.
“Look, now’s not the time. Go home, Junpei. I’ll… talk to Keiko later or something.”
He grinned and pointed a finger at me like some cheap anime character. “Okay. But promise me. I have a big interest in that girl. Seriously. Promise me.”
“Fine, fine.”
I wanted to just crawl into the freezer and stay there forever.
“Promise me!” He yelled at me.
“I promise, now get the hell out.”
“Love you, my adorable niece!” He called out way too loudly, waving like a maniac.
Everyone stared.
Aki was grinning.
I just deadpanned at the ceiling.
---
As I wiped down the last table, I let out the deepest sigh of my life.
God, give me strength. Junpei’s got a crush, Aki’s an agent of chaos, Ruka wants to murder me, and Keiko’s probably deducting my sanity points.
I could already hear Aki snickering in the background and probably plotting another round of teasing.
Tomorrow’s shift’s gonna be hell.
I can feel it.