Thirty minutes has passed since I'm lying in bed next to Keiko, I tried everything to sleep. But no matter how hard I forced my eyes shut, my heart wouldn't settle.
The rhythmic sound of her breathing was too close, too familiar, yet foreign at the same time. The cool air from the air conditioner brushed against my skin, but I was still sweating.
Another thirty minutes passed. Frustrated, I opened my eyes again. Damn it, why am I like this?
Curious, I turned my head slightly to check if Keiko was asleep. My breath hitched the moment I met her gaze.
“Whoa…” I flinched, startled.
She wasn’t asleep either?
Keiko’s expression remained calm as always, her voice steady. “What is it?”
Quickly, I averted my eyes, staring back at the ceiling. “Ah… nothing. I just can’t sleep for some reason,” I muttered, hesitating before continue, “I was just surprised to find that you’re still awake too...”
Silence.
Even though she wasn’t speaking, I could still feel her gaze on me. I turned my head back towards her cautiously, only to meet her eyes again.
“What now?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
I exhaled sharply, gripping the blanket tightly.
“I can’t take this anymore,” I admitted under my breath.
Keiko frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”
Heat crept up my face as I swallowed my hesitation. “I… I want to kiss you.”
The words tumbled out before I could stop them.
Keiko blinked, staring at me in silence. My pulse pounded in my ears as I immediately turned away, mortified. Why did I say that?!
Then, to my surprise, she spoke.
“Then… just do it.”
My heart stopped.
Slowly, I turned back toward her, searching her expression. She was unreadable, her face calm, but her eyes… I couldn’t tell what was going on in her mind.
“Are you sure?” I asked hesitantly.
Keiko didn’t answer, but she didn’t look away either.
Something inside me snapped—I didn’t want to hesitate anymore.
I leaned in, closing the distance between us. My movements were slow, unsure, but Keiko didn’t move away.
And then, finally, our lips met.
A soft warmth spread through me as I pressed my lips gently against hers. It was light, barely more than a touch, but my entire body tensed at the sensation.
I pulled back slightly to gauge her reaction, but Keiko didn’t move away. She simply looked at me, calm as ever.
I swallowed hard before leaning in again, this time lingering a little longer. I gently captured her upper lip between mine, savoring the feeling.
And then—
Keiko kissed me back.
It was slow at first, hesitant, but then our movements synced. Her lips moved softly against mine, her warmth pulling me in deeper. My heart pounded violently as I reached out, my fingers lightly grazing her cheek.
The room felt hot. The air between us grew heavier, more charged.
I didn’t know how long we kissed, lost in the moment, but eventually, reality caught up to us.
I pulled away, breathless. Keiko’s face was flushed, her fingers clutching the blanket. Her expression—normally so composed—showed rare vulnerability.
“I—” she started, but I cut her off, shaking my head.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I think… I’ll just sleep on the sofa tonight.”
I hurriedly got up from the bed before I could do something reckless. My body was still burning from our kiss, and I knew if I stayed any longer, I wouldn’t be able to control myself.
Keiko didn’t stop me. She simply hid her face under the blanket, silent.
I stood at the door for a moment, glancing back at her one last time.
“Good night,” I murmured before stepping out and gently closing the door behind me.
Collapsing onto the sofa, I let out a deep sigh. My heart was still racing.
That was crazy…
Even though we kissed, even though Keiko allowed it, I knew things weren’t that simple.
She still had complicated feelings toward me. Also she still carried the pain of the past.
And yet… she kissed me back.
That was enough to give me hope.
Finally, exhaustion overtook me, and I closed my eyes, a small smile lingering on my lips as sleep claimed me.
---
A soft voice stirred me from my sleep.
"Hey... wake up."
I groggily blinked my eyes open, still disoriented. The warm sunlight seeped through the curtains, casting a gentle glow over the room. It took me a moment to process where I was. The familiar scent, the slightly firm but comfortable sofa beneath me—oh, right. I spent the night here.
When my vision cleared, I was met with the sight of Keiko standing beside me.
I almost jolted in surprise. Keiko…?
"Oh! Morning, Keiko…" I quickly greeted, forcing myself to act normal.
"Morning," she replied, her tone unreadable as she studied me.
There was a brief silence before she spoke again, this time with a hint of hesitation.
"By the way, I just realized… how should I call you now? Ryusei or Ryuko?" She sighed, rubbing her temples. "It feels weird calling you Ryuko."
She wasn’t wrong. Even I hadn’t gotten used to it. The name "Ryuko" belonged to the new me, but "Ryusei" was the name tied to my past—the name that Keiko once loved and the one that had also hurt her.
I sat up, stretching slightly. "I get what you mean, but… you can't call me Ryusei in public," I reminded her.
Keiko paused for a moment before nodding. "You're right," she muttered.
A faint tension lingered in the air between us. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but there was something unspoken, something hanging between us from last night.
Did she regret it?
Before I could dwell on it too much, Keiko spoke again.
"You should hurry and get ready. You'll be late."
I blinked, momentarily confused, before it clicked.
"Ah, crap!" I shot up from the sofa. Work!
Panic settled in as I ran a hand through my messy hair. I was still in borrowed pajama. The yesterday’s clothes, they were still slightly damp from the rain last night.
Keiko seemed to realize this at the same time as I did.
"Wait… you don’t have any fresh clothes, do you?" she asked.
I let out a frustrated sigh. "Yeah, and these haven’t dried yet either."
Keiko glanced at my wrinkled shirt and let out a small exhale. "Well… you can borrow something from your closet if you want. I meant Ryusei's."
I froze.
Keiko must’ve noticed my hesitation because she quickly added, "I mean, if you don’t mind. Otherwise, you’ll have to go back to your apartment first, and that’ll take time."
I hesitated for a second. Borrowing clothes from my— I mean, Ryusei's? That felt… weird. The size and style of the clothes wouldn't suit me at all, so wearing them would feel awkward.
Just as I was about to answer, I checked the time on my phone.
"Shoot!" I groaned. "I don’t have time. I’ll just go back to my apartment first."
Keiko crossed her arms. "You sure? You might be late."
"I'll manage!" I insisted, quickly grabbing my things.
I turned to Keiko, bowing slightly. "See you, Keiko!"
Without waiting for a response, I dashed out the door, hoping—praying—that I could make it on time for work.
As I ran down the street, I could still feel the lingering warmth of last night's kiss on my lips.
But then I realized I was running in pajamas. I groaned and just kept running to my apartment without caring about it.