Chapter 179: 179-His Confession Of Love
Clementine:
"Are you sure you will be okay? There is no one else going from our team, so I think one of us should come with you," I asked Ian after we had laid Haiden and Nate in two separate rooms of one of the buildings. It was an apartment complex, and we chose the rooms on the fourth floor. Troy was sitting with Nate and Yorick was with Haiden.
"I will be fine. Besides, we don’t know how Nate will act once he wakes up. His hallucinations could be wild. A third person is a must to take care of him and this whole setup," Ian replied while dividing the stuff from the bags.
I kept watching his face. I didn’t know why I was worried for him. I did not trust that white squad. For them, the only thing that mattered was their own comfort. They wouldn’t even think twice about their own squadmate.
"Come on Clementine, I’ll be fine." I don’t know how Ian noticed that I was too worried, but he tried to comfort me.
Yorick held my arm and pulled me away from Ian toward Nate’s room. "Go sit with Troy, make sure you keep an eye on Nate." Yorick almost pushed me into the room before leaving for Haiden’s.
I sat down, then wandered around, watching Troy on the couch with his elbow bent, fist under his chin. He stared at me in silence. I moved to the window and stood next to it, watching the white squad leave with Ian.
Ian could take care of himself, and he didn’t really care about being in a group or if others weren’t speaking with him. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t need help.
"They will be fine though," Troy said, making me turn to look at him.
"No, I was just wondering, what if it is too late and the net has been completely broken?" I lied. That wasn’t what I was really worried about. I was, but most of my worry was about how the white squad would treat Ian.
"The tower is just a few minutes away. They’ll reach there in no time and we’ll find out what is going on. Don’t worry," Troy answered. I nodded and sat down again by the window.
The next few minutes were really hard to pass. I felt odd under Troy’s gaze. He hadn’t looked away from me once.
"Why did you let Ian touch you?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.
I smiled and nodded. "So, this is your question about that day?" As soon as I said it, I noticed him looking a little too worried.
I guess in that moment, not only I but he realized too, that they had been so caught up in competition that they focused more on who was going to hurt, who was going to drag the other down to look bad in my eyes, instead of trying to look good in my eyes for themselves. I had expected Troy to ask why I got intimate with him, but his jealousy had peaked so much that he focused more on Ian.
"No, I mean, I, why did you let me touch you?" he corrected himself, but it was too late.
I didn’t want to deal with it. I had seen what happened with the white squad and I didn’t want my squad treating each other the same way.
"I guess we have decided we will not talk about it," I said a bit harshly so he wouldn’t take it as a sign to keep bothering me.
"Did I mess up?" he asked softly. "Would it have been different if I had asked you about me instead of Ian?"
I folded my arms over my chest and kept looking outside the window.
"Troy, did you not see what happened to the white squad?" I muttered. "These kinds of competitions will break us apart, and it’s not like there is any future. There is no future for any of us. We will keep coming to the north until we are dead. So it’s better we don’t get attached to each other like that."
My heart felt so heavy saying that to Troy. All my life I wanted to run away from everyone. To have no attention on me. To live a life where I didn’t have to rely on anyone. And now that I was in a place where I wouldn’t be asked to become someone’s first, second, or third mate, I was worried. I wanted a normal life. I wanted a family. I don’t know how, but it just suddenly happened to me.
I guess now that I was confident, saving myself was no longer my priority. Running away was no longer my only option. But wasn’t it my only option? I couldn’t even think about life in a normal way anymore. And to think I wasn’t someone’s second or third mate but had two mates, it was even crazier.
"Why are you thinking like that? Everybody’s life is going to end one day," Troy said, sounding upset. He hunched down, hands on his thighs, rubbing his face in his palms. Then he leaned back, crossing one leg over the other.
"I like you," he admitted, and my posture collapsed. After a brief pause he added, "No, I love you, Clementine."
My head snapped toward him. My eyes widened. My heart could sink at any moment. His confession came out of nowhere.
"What are you saying?" I muttered. It was one thing to tell someone they had a crush, but saying those three words made a huge difference.
"You heard me. I don’t fucking care who is fated to you. I just know that I love you," he said, almost declared, staring right into my eyes. It felt almost like a threat. I had just told him I didn’t want competition, but here he was making it clear he wouldn’t back down.
"I don’t understand why I have two mates." I mean, it was the right way to divert attention, but also to something that was really, really important for us to understand. I wasn’t that special, and we hadn’t told anyone, not even the ringleaders, about it yet. So there was no explanation for us, and the ones who had felt the mate bond with me didn’t seem to care at all. It seemed like they were just happy that they felt it.
"Or we can ask ourselves, why didn’t I feel the mate bond with you?" Troy pouted, making it about himself once again. A little grunt from Nate then broke our attention from him.