I feel this piece of music has a diuretic effect and can treat related diseases. To be honest, I suffer from frequent urination, urgency, and incomplete emptying, sometimes having to go to the bathroom four times an hour and only passing a small amount each time. But after listening to this piece, I experienced a torrent, my bladder emptied thoroughly. The last time I urinated so freely and completely was the night I divorced my ex-wife, under the streetlights on Fourth Avenue in the snow-covered streets of Harleymu City. I drank a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of Wuliangye, becoming completely unconscious. My cotton pants were completely frozen by urine, and the thing suffered severe frostbite, almost requiring amputation.
Jiang Ye read dozens of reports consecutively.
He finally decided to classify this piece as Level Four and release it directly onto the music platform.
However, it would not be released in the free section but designated as a paid track.
The price was 500 yuan, which was quite expensive for a single track.
Furthermore, Jiang Ye set the playback source for "Leaky Urine No. 2" to only be playable on personal accounts, not public accounts. It would not be added to random playback lists or random radio lists. It could only be played by separately clicking on the track and confirming.
This would prevent malicious pranks or accidental broadcasts of "Leaky Urine No. 2," which could cause widespread incontinence.
Especially diaper companies might have the idea of playing this track publicly along streets, thus it must be prohibited from public account playback.
Of course, one could still broadcast it throughout the streets using a private account and loudspeakers.
But that would be considered deliberate sabotage, and people could be apprehended by tracking their accounts and fined or detained for disturbing public order.
In short, it was about minimizing accidental incidents and distancing himself from responsibility.
Paid tracks would have a promotional blurb, essentially a sales pitch. Jiang Ye quickly wrote a few sentences and posted them:
"This song will truly make you urinate like a waterfall, no matter how strong your bladder sphincter is."
"If you have difficulty urinating, you can try listening to this song."
"Please do not use this song for pranks, and do not test your luck by secretly listening to it at work, in class, or at weddings and funerals. Wetting yourself will be very embarrassing. Also, please do not prank others; it is very malicious."
Confirm.
Jiang Ye felt that the pricing of 500 yuan should deter many listeners, and perhaps very few people would buy it.
But ten minutes after uploading the song, checking the backend, 28,000 people had already paid to purchase "Leaky Urine No. 2"!
That was 14 million yuan in an instant!
Although Jiang Ye was wealthy, this speed of making money still made his heart pound.
Half an hour later, he checked the comment section, and it was already bustling.
"I am a patient with prostatitis, and this song is really great. I asked my doctor if I could stop taking those diuretic capsules since listening to music makes me urinate profusely. The doctor said not to stop medication arbitrarily. My attitude is, to hell with it! Medicine has side effects, why spend money on medicine when listening to music can solve the problem?"
"Curiosity killed the cat, I actually wet my pants."
"So magical, I really peed my pants! These 500 yuan were worth it!"
"My owner forced me to listen to this, it's so shameful, sob..."
"I am a doctor, and I just tried it on several patients. They all urinated very smoothly. This way, we can try stopping their medication first. But I'm very curious how this song can make people urinate? Are there any relevant research papers?"
"I bought a few copies to give to friends, I'm truly a good teacher and helpful friend."
"I bought one for my ex-boyfriend, and I'm very grateful to Zhi Jun for composing such a wonderful piece."
Jiang Ye scratched his head, no wonder it was selling so well; some people bought it for strange reasons.
He felt the pricing was still too low and should be increased.
The second experiment of the morning was "Watching Fireworks No. 2."
Jiang Ye found the track name quite puzzling, so he clicked to view the details.
[First Experiment: 11:00 AM to 11:30 AM]
[Track: Watching Fireworks No. 2]
[Expected Effect of Track: It will give people the feeling of witnessing blooming fireworks in the night sky approximately thirty times.]
[Experiment Reward: 100 yuan per person.]
Jiang Ye recalled the fireworks he watched during Chinese New Year when he was a child... He was certainly happy, but was there any special heart-stirring feeling? Could a song be composed specifically to trigger it?
This experiment proceeded quickly because "Watching Fireworks No. 2" was only 6 minutes long, the length of a normal song.
Jiang Ye watched the laboratory situation using the office's holographic projection. All the volunteers were trembling, some with their mouths agape, their expressions filled with surprise.
Soon, experiment record cards were uploaded one after another.
[I have never seen fireworks, but while listening to this song, I experienced a very peculiar sense of pleasure that is difficult to describe. When I closed my eyes, I could faintly see fireworks blooming in the night sky!]
[It's too wonderful! This is the most wonderful music I've ever heard! When I closed my eyes, I could truly faintly see fireworks blooming in the night sky!]
[I cried while listening. Although the song doesn't sound like fireworks at all, it truly reminds me of watching fireworks. And fireworks remind me of the sight of rocket shells and mortar shells exploding, thousands of beams of light bursting and extinguishing, followed by people flying. The first time I saw such a scene, my best friend was blown to death. The second time I saw it, my husband was blown to death. The third time I saw it, my teacher was blown to death. This song reminds me of my childhood. I hope the civil war on Snake Infant Star ends soon, and I hope no more Snake Infant Star citizens are killed by artillery fire.]
[I counted, eleven small fireworks and nineteen large fireworks.]
Jiang Ye was very curious and requested the audio to listen to it.
Indeed, it gave a strong feeling of seeing fireworks explode, a bit exciting and satisfying.
It was classified as a Level Three track and released on the music platform.
Jiang Ye felt that free tracks earned too little, so he set this one as paid as well, at 20 yuan per song.
When leaving the Music City that evening, "Watching Fireworks No. 2" had already been purchased 9.8 million times.
196 million yuan had been earned!
Jiang Ye's heart pounded. At this rate of earning, how could it continue?
He had already decided that all Zhi Jun compositions from now on would be classified as paid tracks, earning money for each song. The pricing would be determined based on the characteristics of each song.
As he drove away from the Music City, Jiang Ye did not go straight home. Instead, he detoured to a nearby district, bought some things at a mall, and put them in a small cardboard box.
He arrived home and entered the house with the cardboard box.
Cen Yemeng was cooking dinner in the kitchen. Her phone could track the movement of Jiang Ye's car, so she would go into the kitchen every day when her husband was about to come home.
"Why did you go to the city?" Cen Yemeng lowered her head and chopped carrots.
"Of course, I went to buy you roses. Didn't I tell you to wait under the crooked tree? You dared to stand me up? Go ask around at school, has anyone ever dared to stand me up?" Jiang Ye opened the cardboard box, took out a rose, and threw it on the cutting board, speaking with the tone of a campus hooligan. "Hey, classmate Cen Yemeng, will you be my girlfriend? I run this school, and it'll be very prestigious for you to be my girlfriend. In the future, all the boys from every department will respectfully call you Sister-in-law."
Cen Yemeng was stunned, surprised, and blushed. She hadn't expected her husband to get into character as soon as he got home.
She took a few seconds to compose herself and stepped back, her face filled with anger. "Take your stinking flower away! If you follow me again, I'll call the police! I'm going back to the dormitory!"