For an entire night, I sat alone by the campfire outside the tent, my mind constantly replaying An Ying’s words about the so-called "Shambhala."
As I looked around, a strange sense of unfamiliarity washed over me. This was the first time I had felt this way since I witnessed An Ying’s ability to achieve immortality.
It took me a long time to accept that reality back then, but now, with the addition of "Shambhala," my entire worldview had been shattered once again.
I finally understood something clearly: my father must have known about Shambhala’s existence. Perhaps, like me, he had also learned the truth.
Upon realizing this truth, a profound sense of bewilderment and helplessness left me feeling utterly lost.
Now I understood why my father had suddenly chosen to return to our hometown all those years ago and live such an ordinary life.
I then thought about myself. Now that I also knew the truth, what choice should I make next?
Should I, like my father, return to my own world and live a lifetime of insignificance?
Or should I follow An Ying to this so-called Shambhala?
Although I was curious about that place, I truly couldn’t bring myself to abandon everything in this world.
Not to mention anything else, Hong Yunpeng and Bai Hanyan were people I couldn't let go of.
I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Just then, Fatty appeared out of nowhere.
He handed me a cigarette and asked, "Brother Xiang, do you really think there's such a place as Shambhala?"
I was momentarily taken aback. He grinned, "When you were talking with An Ying during the day, I was listening in quietly."
I couldn't help but laugh and cry, "So you know everything now?"
He nodded, "Pretty much… An Ying really does have that ethereal quality, like she doesn't belong to this world. I just didn't expect her to not be human…"
"I mean, she's different from us," Fatty said with a smile. "What do you think?"
"What do I think about what?"
"Do you want to go with her to that Shambhala? If you do, you have to bring me along."
I exhaled, "We don't know what that place is, or where it is. If we follow her, we have no idea what the outcome will be…"
"Whatever happens, as long as we can live forever, that's enough," Fatty said indifferently.
"Live forever? You really wish to live forever?"
Fatty blinked, his eyes darting around. "Isn't living forever a good thing?"
"Think about it. If you could live forever, and everyone around you gradually passed away, the world constantly changing, plus if the news of your immortality leaked out, all sorts of people would want to study you. Would you still think it's good?"
"Now that you put it that way, it doesn't seem like living forever is that great," Fatty mused, pursing his lips. "But… never mind, there's no 'but.' Just thinking about what you said makes me annoyed. I’d rather be a normal person. At most, I’ll live to ninety and then pass on."
"What about you, Brother Xiang? Do you want to live forever?"
"Me?"
I thought about it carefully. I really didn't know how to answer this question. It was impossible to say I hadn't thought about it, but what I had just said was from the bottom of my heart.
"Perhaps before, I might have thought living forever was good, but after meeting An Ying, I realized that living forever doesn't seem as great as I imagined."
"So, you don't want to live forever anymore?"
I nodded. "As it stands, I don't."
"Then what are you agonizing about? We'll head back to Guangling tomorrow," Fatty said.
"But…"
I took a deep breath. "I want to send her off on her final journey…"
"Who? An Ying?"
I nodded.
"What if something happens?" Fatty asked worriedly.
"I haven't thought about it, but when I first arrived in Guangling, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't have…"
Before I could finish, Fatty waved his hand, "Alright, alright. You've said this a hundred times. If it weren't for Sister Ying back then, you wouldn't have been able to establish yourself in Guangling. If it weren't for Sister Ying… Brother Xiang, why are you so stubborn? You've helped her a lot too. Couldn't we consider it even now?"
I smiled wryly, with unspoken thoughts still lingering in my heart.
"Fine, we'll see this through to the end. Anyway, this Shambhala, I see it as the Pure Land. Don't Buddhist teachings often speak of the Western Pure Land? We'll send her to the Pure Land, and then we'll head back," Fatty said helplessly.
I smiled slightly. "Alright, we'll escort her back, and then we'll return to Guangling!"
After a night's rest, we packed up our belongings the next morning and began our trek.
Without a guide, An Ying led us over one snow-capped mountain after another, eventually reaching the depths of the mountain range. Here, no living animals could be seen at all. The sky was a brilliant blue, and the ground was pure white.
Apart from these two colors, no other hues were visible.
The vast expanse of snow offered a sense of desolation.
At this moment, we were like a group of ascetics, walking across the endless snowy landscape, leaving behind only rows of footprints.
"Brother Xiang, we're really going to our deaths this time," Fatty panted. "If we keep walking like this, where will we end up?"
I looked at An Ying's retreating figure in the distance, and for a moment, I couldn't answer Fatty's question.
"Brother Xiang, why don't you say something to An Ying, and tell her we'll only escort her this far?"
"We've come this far, are you really willing to turn back now?" I asked.
Fatty pursed his lips. I continued, "No matter where she's going, I at least want to see her leave."
I couldn't quite explain it, but this sense of determination was in my heart.
Perhaps I didn't fully believe what An Ying had told me. Without seeing it with my own eyes, I wouldn't be content.
Fatty sighed. "Alright. But they aren't human, and we are. They aren't tired, but I'm exhausted. Why don't you ask them to rest for a while?"
Frankly speaking, throughout this journey, apart from Fatty and me, everyone else's stamina was incredibly good.
An Ying, in particular, showed no signs of fatigue. Moreover, while the rest of us were bundled up tightly, she was wearing only a white fur coat, with her face and hands exposed.
The wind and snow blew against her face, leaving no trace.
Just as I was about to step forward and speak to An Ying, she stopped, as if sensing what I was about to say. "Let's find a place to rest for a while."
Upon her suggestion, the others also followed suit. We found a clearing and began setting up our tents.
Yang Hanxue took out the firewood from his backpack, placed it in an iron bucket, poured some kerosene on it, and lit it.
The others also took out their dry rations to fill their stomachs. An Ying handed me a pot of boiled water, urging me to drink some.
As my hand touched hers, a wave of coldness spread through my entire body. Her hands felt colder than ice.