Chapter 911: Chapter 908: "Smile (Part 2)
Despite having only glanced casually at the church yesterday, Su Ming’an remembered all the students’ names.
...
["Only studying and exams can change your future... If I could become a leader, I would certainly enact regulations to make ordinary people happy."]
...
This was what Tao Meng said during the oath ceremony yesterday, and Su Ming’an still remembered the expression she had when she said these words. She was a loud girl, and the whole church resonated with her clear voice. She studied hard, even while being bandaged, she kept her head buried in books.
Clearly, she was about to take her college entrance exam, yet today she leapt from the building.
Jiang Xiaosan looked at the face of the corpse, her face turning pale as she staggered backward a few steps.
She opened her mouth and called out softly in disbelief:
"Tao Meng...?"
Why did you commit suicide?
Isn’t the college entrance exam tomorrow? Won’t you be able to change your destiny tomorrow?
You’ve told me countless times at night that you want to study hard, get good grades, and change the fate of people like your parents... But why did you choose to leap down at the break of dawn, right before the entrance exam?
Clearly, you were just a little bit away, weren’t you?
"What made this girl commit suicide?" The soldiers bowed their heads, recording details.
"According to data records, it seems that yesterday she was suddenly found out to have failed a review. Her grandfather once defied the death ending decreed by the deity, so she has a blemish on her record and can never take the exam." Another soldier said.
"Is it really necessary? It’s just not being able to take the exam. This kind of child is too weak-minded, they commit suicide at the slightest problem. Really irresponsible." A soldier said.
They stuffed her into a cloth bag, like handling a slab of pork.
No one cared about what struggles she went through internally, no one thought about how she could live her life if she couldn’t even have the chance to take the exam.
Su Ming’an stared at the blood-stained bag, suddenly understanding—
Why Tao Meng’s death ending would be starvation at age twenty-two.
——Because from birth, she never had a chance to participate in an exam to change her destiny.
The deity is never wrong.
He is cruel enough to give you a glimmer of hope, making you believe that victory is just tomorrow. But suddenly informs you that the death ending of your life has long predicted your entire life. No matter how you struggle, you cannot break your "destiny."
No matter how hard you study, how many times you wake up at five in the morning to memorize books, how many times you painstakingly copy notes, your opportunities to struggle—were taken away from the start.
Ultimately, Tao Meng chose a bloody rebellion.
The last time in her life, and the only time she defied the deity’s arrangement. At eighteen years old today, she leapt down, defying the bleak destiny of starving at age twenty-two.
If she dies early, her death ending becomes invalid. If she gives up struggling early, the deity could no longer witness her suffering.
...This was already the final roar of her short life.
She didn’t even tell anyone, she neither cried nor made a fuss, just quietly left the church alone in the morning, not complaining to anyone. If the students hadn’t come out in groups looking for her, her death wouldn’t have been seen by any companions, she would have left silently.
"There’s another witness here!" A soldier noticed Su Ming’an standing nearby: "Be careful not to spread negative emotions, quickly make him laugh."
Several soldiers noticed Su Ming’an. A big soldier walked towards Su Ming’an, patting his shoulder: "Young man, don’t frown, quickly smile."
Su Ming’an looked at the blood-stained steel and shattered organs on the ground. He slightly raised his head, holding onto a doll that had turned red.
Blood dripped down the back of his hand, the back of his hand burning.
The soldier extended his hand, pulling at his mouth corners, revealing a forced smile, like a clown’s comical mask:
"Come, learn from me, smile, smile. Child, smile."
[This world has gone mad.] Su Ming’an thought.
"Laugh out loud! Young man! You’re not allowed to make that expression, you’ll cause trouble on the front line, you know? No sadness, no spreading negative emotions, quickly smile!" The soldiers’ smiles began to twist: "Let me tell you, just a few days ago, there was a particularly funny incident, when we were dealing with a body, that corpse surprisingly wasn’t wearing underwear, hahaha..."
They laughed, clearly trying to divert attention, yet the laughter seemed to become their genuine intent.
[Smile joyfully even in the face of tragedy.]
The blood on the ground was extremely glaring.
[Smile manically even in the face of death.]
Inside the cloth bag, deep crimson blood seemed to seep out faintly, a few strands of black hair leaked outside the knot, like swaying seaweed.
Through the knot, Tao Meng’s face was vaguely visible, her eyes still open wide, filled with bloodshot lines, her gaze even held a hint of confusion, as if questioning why everything she saw looked this way.
[Smile humbly even in the face of the deity.]
In the distance, the refugees slowly raised their heads, their eyes were empty.
...
[The survival of the race... has transformed people into madmen in living form.]
...
"Haha, hahaha, smile, young man, you—"
"Is smiling enough?" Su Ming’an said.
"Hmm?" The soldier froze momentarily, then laughed: "Of course. Can we do anything but smile?"
——Of course.
——Can we do anything but smile?
"Because people are dead, we have to smile?" Su Ming’an said.
"Yes, precisely because we’ve seen the dead, we must force a smile." The soldier said.
And so, under their puzzled, confused, expectant gazes.
——The black-haired youth holding the doll chuckled twice in a dry, monotone voice.
His voice sounded less like laughter and more like a low roar.
...
In front of the church’s stained glass windows, a pure white bishop intoned prayers.
The students on both sides lowered their heads, none speaking.
At the center of their gaze was a black box, containing a heart-shaped necklace. There was no coffin, no flowers, and no body.
Tao Meng committed suicide, defying the deity’s arrangement of destiny. So even if she died, her records would be cast as criminal, her body crushed, not returned to the church. Li Mingyue couldn’t even openly erect a tombstone for her, because she was a sinner.
"Sinner."
A girl deprived of every chance to change her destiny, losing the opportunity to take exams. Because she chose to abandon life due to her foreseeable tragic life, she became a "sinner."
Su Ming’an stood among the students, looking at their faces.
"Do you still have faith?"
In the silence, Jiang Xiaosan’s voice was very clear.
The students instantly looked at her. Her words were too disrespectful. Even if they thought the same in their hearts, no one dared to say it aloud. Surprisingly, it was Jiang Xiaosan, who was usually timid, that voiced such words at this moment.
Li Mingyue stopped his prayer and quietly watched her.
"Still want... faith?" But Jiang Xiaosan merely repeated the words, staring dazed and vacant at Tao Meng’s small box, her eyes already red.
"Still want to continue?"
"What am I... believing in?"
"What is the chapel... believing in?"
"What are humans... believing in?"
The clear voice echoed in the empty cathedral, sunlight streaming through the stained glass.
The only sound in the air was the breathing of the people.
"Go back and rest. Tomorrow is the college entrance exam," said Li Mingyue.
He neither praised nor reprimanded Jiang Xiaosan. He simply asked them to rest. Hence, they ceased lingering, leaving silently as if a flock of lambs driven by some invisible force. Murmuring confused words, Jiang Xiaosan followed the crowd, departing step by step.
Su Ming’an looked up, once again focusing on the most prominent stained glass in the chapel—a green-eyed angel descending to the mortal world, reaching out to the demon in the abyss. The angel’s expression was noble and compassionate, as if imbued with tolerance and love for everything, dressed in a pure white robe and gloves, reaching toward the demon on the verge of falling. Yet, the demon with black eyes wore a fierce expression, its body embroidered with a terrifying blood-red python, a cross nailed to its neck like a pendant, and blood-red curse words spewed from its mouth.
The background of the stained glass was a rainbow-colored ring, like a long snake encircling the angel and demon, or perhaps like a faint city in the sky. The glass was half pure white, half blood-red, and the intertwining colors of ice and fire attracted Su Ming’an’s gaze.
"Wensheng," Li Mingyue spoke.
"Mm...?" Su Ming’an returned from his thoughts.
Whenever he saw this piece of stained glass, his gaze seemed to be captured.
"Perhaps your decision to leave the small town was the right one. Only by leaving is there a chance for change," Li Mingyue said.
"Maybe," Su Ming’an said, "By the way, Godfather, today someone said I am the Exotic Species King..."
Su Ming’an trusted Li Mingyue more and wanted to inquire about Li Mingyue’s thoughts.
Li Mingyue listened, his expression unfluctuating.
"What do you think about this?" Li Mingyue said.
"I am human, just human. What I see now are situations where exotic species harm humans, and everyone who treats me well is human. So, unless a major reversal occurs, I will stand on the side of humanity," Su Ming’an said.
"Then act according to your thoughts," Li Mingyue said.
"But am I really the Exotic Species King, Godfather?" Su Ming’an said.
Li Mingyue’s gaze shifted slightly.
"You are not," Li Mingyue said.
"Good." Su Ming’an nodded.
No matter what Li Mingyue thought inside, at least from his answer, Li Mingyue seemed more inclined to deny this matter.
Saying goodbye to Li Mingyue, Su Ming’an returned home.
The house was utterly silent. At the computer desk, a girl lay on the table, her eyes closed, seemingly asleep from exhaustion. The afternoon sun was glaring, yet she slept deeply, likely pushed to the limits of fatigue.
Su Ming’an glanced at the computer screen’s familiar interface—this was an interface similar to the editing software pr. It seemed that Su Luoluo fell asleep while editing videos.
Scattered on the table were medicine boxes, with labels on the surface that read [Bupropion], [Paroxetine].
As soon as Su Ming’an approached, Su Luoluo jolted awake. Her first reaction was to reach out and gather the medicine boxes before raising her head.
"Little Cloud is back?" Su Luoluo said.
"...Need help?" Su Ming’an knew what kind of medicine it was.
"You saw it." Su Luoluo clenched the medicine boxes tightly, lowered her head, and smiled bitterly, "Actually, I don’t need any psychological comfort; living every day is already exhausting. If someone could help me end the pain and close my eyes for good, I’d really have to thank them."
"Don’t say things like that." Su Ming’an couldn’t see through it completely. Su Luoluo, who usually liked to laugh brightly and comfort others, would have such thoughts.
"Little Cloud, you seem very troubled yourself, yet you always comfort others," Su Luoluo said.
Su Ming’an glanced at the system mirror, adjusting his facial expression.
"By the way, where did Little Black go?" Su Ming’an asked.
Unable to reveal that Su Wensheng was Su Ming’an, Lv Shu’s real name also couldn’t be disclosed. So, Su Ming’an had Lv Shu adopt an alias. After some thought, Lv Shu decided on "Little Black." Hence, in Su Luoluo and others’ view, the black-robed priest who suddenly appeared at the house was named "Little Black."
"Little Black went out to buy tea leaves." Su Luoluo said, "Is that really his name? It sounds like an animal’s name..."
"He just likes such names," Su Ming’an moved on from the topic, "Okay, let me check how your video editing turned out."
"Little Cloud knows about editing?" Su Luoluo was surprised.
"Mm..." Su Ming’an softly said, "I used to enjoy making game videos."
"Then why don’t you do it now?" Su Luoluo asked.
"..." Su Ming’an did not reply.
He looked at the computer screen. Su Luoluo was editing live footage of "Please Call Me Demon Miss" from the "Girl Dream Project." During the first semester, Su Luoluo was focused on cultivating a boy to learn painting, creating a very warm atmosphere.
Su Ming’an watched it once. The video game footage was well done, and Su Luoluo’s editing ability was excellent.
"When I played ’Louyue Nation’ before, I also made live videos. Now my followers and popularity are on the rise," Su Luoluo said happily.
Su Ming’an opened her host page on his phone. She posted a total of over ten videos, each with over two to three hundred thousand views, which was already a very good result.
But looking at the comment section, he instantly saw a heap of abusive remarks, much less friendly than those on Zhai Xing’s video platform, with dirty words like "chicken," "face," "one night," instantly visible. Their perspective seemed limited to her gender, ignoring her achievements and efforts.
"Looking at it is annoying," Su Ming’an said quietly.
Suddenly, he saw the phone screen flash, and the negative comments in the section instantly vanished.
A line of text appeared on the screen:
[I’ve deleted them all for you, my dear Wensheng.]
Su Ming’an felt a chill inside.
The deity constantly observed everything, paying attention even to his whispers, yet remained indifferent to the tragedies occurring in this land.
"Hasn’t someone named Su Rin approached you yet?" Su Ming’an said quietly. Given Su Rin’s nature, he should be seeking out the deity.
The screen showed flickering words:
[I don’t want to see him. I don’t like him.]
"Don’t like him, but like me?" Su Ming’an said.
The screen showed flickering words:
[Mm.]
[Like you very much.]