Regarding Qiu Yuanxi's questions, Ling Luoyi was completely unaware. At this moment, she was concentrating in the depths of her spiritual world, in a dim courtyard, staring intently at 'her' who had the same appearance as her but with blood-red pupils. This was her inner demon, and also the self she hated the most, her past self.
Ling Luoyi had gone into seclusion after leaving Mei Ran's room and returning to her own. For two days and two nights, she had been trying to accept 'her', exhausting all methods, but all had failed. With no other options, Ling Luoyi had no choice but to face the self she didn't want to face.
Ling Luoyi had been staring at 'her' for several hours, making 'her' feel uneasy. Even though it was herself opposite, 'she' spoke without reservation, "I say, you don't have to stare at me like I'm a thief. You've sealed me here, and I can't get out."
Seeing that Ling Luoyi had no intention of responding, 'her' sarcasm grew louder, "Speaking of which, it's been several months since you last said you wanted to accept me. What's your progress?"
Ling Luoyi's expression remained unchanged. 'She' suddenly appeared before Ling Luoyi, grabbed her chin, and forced her to look directly at herself. Caught off guard, Ling Luoyi met 'her' blood-red eyes. The disgust in them was evident. 'Her' eyes seemed to resemble the color of fresh blood, and the color she hated the most was blood-like red.
The disgust in Ling Luoyi's eyes was too obvious for 'her' to ignore. Completely enraged, 'she' spoke even more mercilessly.
"You said you wanted to accept me, so why do you seem to hate me more? You know it yourself, right? I embody everything you hate and detest. You can never truly like me! And the more you detest yourself, the more you'll detest me!"
Ling Luoyi pried 'her' hands away and pushed 'her' back, finally speaking the first words since arriving here, "You're right. I detest killing, I detest bloodshed, I detest living like a beast, I detest the me who once cherished life becoming a demon who kills without blinking, I detest the me who once wanted to cherish life now despising it... You embody everything I detest, so I detest you, and I detest myself for creating you!"
Ling Luoyi poured out all the words buried in her heart, yet felt an inexplicable lightness in her body, as if a blockage had been removed, and her mood brightened.
After listening to Ling Luoyi's accusations, 'she' became unusually quiet. She even said to Ling Luoyi with a hint of admiration, "Not bad. You dare to face yourself. But what will you do next? You know, accepting me means accepting all these things you detest. Can you really do it?"
Neither of them had an answer to this question. Knowing the problem didn't mean having a solution. Without a solution, it meant Ling Luoyi had failed again, though it was still progress.
In Feng Xi Realm, Ling Luoyi opened her eyes. Little Feng Xi floated over. From Ling Luoyi's state, it knew this attempt had failed again and comforted her, "Master, don't be discouraged. You will succeed eventually."
Ling Luoyi gave Little Feng Xi a weak acknowledgment. She then recalled 'her' last words, 'Perhaps you really can do it, but do you know how much time it will take?'
Time!
Ling Luoyi clenched her fists. What she lacked the most now was time!
Little Feng Xi noticed Ling Luoyi's mood was off and quickly comforted her, "Master, don't rush. Rushing will only make things worse. Didn't you say she embodies everything you detest? Then does she have any traits you like? Perhaps you can find a way through that?"
Ling Luoyi didn't take Little Feng Xi's words to heart. 'She' was formed by the combination of traits Ling Luoyi disliked. How could the traits she liked appear in 'her'?
Looking at Little Feng Xi's serious expression as it actively sought a solution for her, Ling Luoyi suddenly asked, "Little Feng Xi, do you like the me from before, or the me from now?"
Upon hearing Ling Luoyi's question, Little Feng Xi was stunned. Seeing Ling Luoyi's serious demeanor, Little Feng Xi knew she wasn't joking, so it replied sincerely, "Master, to be honest, I like the you who combines both."
"Hmm? What do you mean?" Ling Luoyi disliked her past self so much that she had never thought that her past self had likable qualities. Hearing Little Feng Xi say this, she began to consider understanding how others perceived her.
"Master, you sealed her away a little over three years ago, and that's when you became like this. Your change occurred after you met Demon Emperor Zun Shang and Qiu Yuanxi. Including the ten years in the 23rd century, I've known you for fourteen years before this. Back then, you lived aimlessly and would do anything to survive. Even in the first few years after arriving here, you were like that. Even Dean Master couldn't change you."
Ling Luoyi nodded in agreement. She remembered these things too, which was why she found it difficult to accept the self who resorted to any means to survive.
"But Master, after sealing her, you suddenly became indecisive, overly saintly, and held goodwill towards everything. Take the new head of the Wei family as an example. If it were you from before, you would have annihilated the entire Wei family, leaving no one alive."
Ling Luoyi was stunned by these words. She tried hard to recall her past self, but this time, it was as if someone had placed that memory before her, and she found it easily. Looking at her past self killing her target and then, fearing revenge, slaughtering the target's entire clan, Ling Luoyi felt guilt towards her past self and even thought of killing her.
Staring blankly at her hands, Ling Luoyi murmured, "How did I become like this?"
Ling Luoyi didn't know if she was asking why she had become so indecisive, or why she was thinking of killing her past self.
Little Feng Xi continued, "Master, I think the two years between these two phases were perfect for you. While you had goodwill, you were also decisive and ruthless. If you could combine the strengths of both, Master, you might become your best self."
Ling Luoyi tried to search her memories for the two years Little Feng Xi mentioned, but she couldn't recall them at all. What happened in those two years? Why was 'she' afraid of her remembering?
"Master, are you listening to me?!" Little Feng Xi, having not received a response from Ling Luoyi, turned to look at her. Upon seeing her unfocused eyes, Little Feng Xi became anxious. Could Master be controlled by 'her' again?
"Master!" Little Feng Xi shouted urgently, but received no response from Ling Luoyi.
Ling Luoyi was trapped in a fog of memories. She wanted to know what she was like in those two years, not to learn about herself through others' words. She wanted to know how she herself viewed those two years.
However, in her memory, there were only the twenty-eight years in the 23rd century, the first four years after arriving in this world, and the four years from sealing 'her' until now. The two years in between were covered by a fog, and she couldn't enter or see herself at that time.
After trying for an hour, Ling Luoyi realized she truly couldn't enter the fog or see what was beneath it. Disappointed, she returned to the present.
Little Feng Xi had been calling out to Ling Luoyi. Seeing her finally return, before it could feel happy, it heard Ling Luoyi say, "Little Feng Xi, I know where to start."