"System, for the nine thousand eight hundred and seventy-second time, do you have a ten-pull at the start?"
[Beep! Dear host, this system does not have the function of "ten-pull".]
"Beginner's gift pack, right, beginner's gift pack, no ten-pull at the start, but there should be a beginner's gift pack, right?"
[Beep! Dear host, this system never issues "beginner's gift packs".]
"You're ruthless! Fine, come on, quickly issue a sign-in quest, just tell me a place to sign in, and then give me rewards, like the Primordial Sacred Body, Nine Heavens Starry Sky Art... arrange it all for me."
[Beep! Dear host, this system does not have the function of issuing sign-in quests.]
...
Hao Ren was furious, truly furious.
(艹皿艹)
A day ago, he had transmigrated to this immortal cultivation world. Then a system found him and bound him as its host.
Hao Ren was ecstatic at the time; this was clearly the start of a "Protagonist of an Immortal Cultivation System" story.
According to the tropes of online immortal cultivation novels, Hao Ren was supposed to follow the "invincible" route, using the system's help to cheat his way through, defeat all kinds of geniuses, capture the hearts of countless immortal maidens, and reach the pinnacle of his life!
But, he never expected that his system would be useless. It didn't have a ten-pull at the start, no beginner's gift pack, and most outrageously, not even sign-in quests. Alas!
"Immortal Cultivation Invincible Stream" was about to become "Immortal Cultivation Waste Stream."
Hao Ren was very angry.
"System, tell me honestly, what functions do you actually have?"
[Beep! Dear host, this system is a super social system, a system that pursues world peace and hopes for universal friendship and harmonious coexistence!]
"System, speak human!"
[Beep! This system can help the host make friends!]
"Oh, so it's completely useless then!"
Hao Ren covered his face, feeling desperate.
Making friends, what good is making friends? Can friends put food on the table? Normal people don't make friends, pfft!
[Beep! Dear host, please do not make hasty judgments. This is an immortal cultivation world. More friends mean more paths. Your friends will help you cultivate and achieve the great cause of eternal life.]
Really?
Hearing the system say this, Hao Ren was somewhat moved.
If his "friend list" had a few super great cultivators, like Nascent Soul Ancestors, Transformation God monsters, or the like, and he hugged their thighs tightly, even a little bit leaking from the cracks of their fingers would be enough for Hao Ren to soar.
With this in mind, Hao Ren excitedly opened the system panel's "Friend List."
A semi-transparent light screen appeared in Hao Ren's mind.
The "Friend List" section was completely empty, not a single name.
He had no friends at all!
Hao Ren.
(艹皿艹)
Furious!
"System, I have reason to suspect you're playing me!"
[Beep! Dear host, please do not be so volatile! It's okay if you don't have friends now. As long as you go out and travel the world, you can meet many friends...]
"No! Absolutely not!"
Before the system's prompt ended, Hao Ren shook his head like a rattle drum, directly rejecting the system's suggestion.
What a joke, asking him to travel the outside world, he would never do such a thing.
He, Hao Ren, was a man who had read tens of thousands of online immortal cultivation novels, and he was too familiar with the tropes of the immortal cultivation world!
You think cultivators are all good people, who would help old ladies cross the road and escort children to school?
Hmph! Naive!
Backstabbing, ambushing, insidious attacks, killing for treasure – this is the correct way for cultivators to act.
The outside world was too dangerous!
Hao Ren didn't want to descend the mountain and be treated as "monster mob A" by cultivators for experience points.
Not going out!
Absolutely not going out!
I'll just stay here and quietly be a 'goushen', pfft, a 'goxiu'!
[Beep...]
The system was very helpless. It suspected it had chosen the wrong host; Hao Ren was too cowardly!
Goxiu?
Heh heh, he really could come up with that.
If Hao Ren truly stayed hidden here his whole life and eventually died in the wilderness due to his inability to cultivate, it would be laughed at by other systems.
[Beep! Dear host, would you like to reconsider.]
"No need, I won't descend the mountain no matter what!"
[Beep... Host, this system has another function. Would you like to try it?]
"What function, is it dangerous?"
[Beep! It is not dangerous!]
"System, you promise?"
[Beep! Promise!]
Hao Ren: Huh? Why does the system seem to be getting increasingly irritable? Tsk, too young, can't hold back! Is it wrong for me to be careful? Caution is the parent of safety, safety first!
"System, come on, introduce your new function!"
[Beep! The "Search Nearby People" function. Currently, it can search for cultivators within a thousand-meter radius.]
Oh, this function is indeed not dangerous.
Hao Ren nodded.
"System, use the 'Search Nearby People' function!"
Whoosh!
An invisible wave of consciousness exploded from Hao Ren's body, spreading rapidly outwards from his center.
Immediately, the system's prompt sounded in Hao Ren's mind.
[Beep! 573 meters to the northeast, one righteous cultivator found, Gu Ziming of the Shengfeng Sect.]
[Beep! 574 meters to the northeast, one demonic cultivator found, Xing Yidao of the Yuantong Divine Cult.]
[Beep! Gu Ziming and Xing Yidao are engaged in combat... in combat... continuously in combat...]
[Beep! Gu Ziming is severely injured and on the brink of death.]
[Beep! Xing Yidao is severely injured and on the brink of death.]
[Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...]
The system finally let out a long string of "beep, beep, beep," perhaps indicating its speechless state.
The "Search Nearby People" function was intended for Hao Ren to make many connections and get to know more cultivators, making more friends.
As a result, right at the start, it presented this: two cultivators attacking each other, fighting to the death. The immortal cultivation world was indeed dangerous! The system felt its face being slapped, if it had a face...
At this moment, Hao Ren was very excited.
His eyes glowed.
(＿)
Oh ho, here it comes, here it comes, the legendary "delivery" plot.
The most classic plot in immortal cultivation novels!
All he needed to do now was to "let the bullets fly for a while longer."
[Beep! Gu Ziming's injuries have worsened, he is about to die!]
[Beep! Xing Yidao's injuries have worsened, he is about to die!]
The smile on Hao Ren's face grew wider.
Come on, come on, just a little more, just a little more, keep it up!
Two fellow Daoists, die quickly!
Uh, won't thinking like this make me a beast? It sounds like a great villain, cough cough...
In immortal cultivation novels, great villains never have good endings!
How about I go save them now?
Don't be ridiculous, killing for treasure is the correct way to approach immortal cultivation novels. Saving people will make other cultivators laugh at you.
Hao Ren was thinking about various things, and soon, the system prompt sounded in his mind again.
[Beep! Gu Ziming of the Shengfeng Sect, due to severe injuries, has perished, his life extinguished!]
[Beep! Xing Yidao of the Yuantong Divine Cult, due to severe injuries, has perished, his life extinguished!]
Hao Ren.
(＿)
Oh yeah, time to go get the delivery!