Chapter 208: Chapter 208: No Regrets About the Decision Made Back Then
Xiang Linghao still held the car door, preventing her from opening it.
"Xiang Lan, let’s talk. You’ve avoided me for seven years, and I’ve played along by staying out of sight for seven years. Now, don’t refuse me."
Xue Xianglan slightly raised an eyebrow, "Did I say no?"
This time it was Xiang Linghao who was baffled, "What?"
"Even if I agree to have dinner with you, you still need to let me drive my own car, right? Or do you want me to leave it here?"
Hmm? Is that all it means?
"You’re agreeing?"
Xue Xianglan nodded, "I also think we should have a good talk."
Xiang Linghao was delighted, and with a relieved smile, he quickly let go of his hand, "Sorry, sorry."
Xue Xianglan opened the car door, "Decide where to go yourself. You lead the way, and I’ll follow."
"Okay." Xiang Linghao agreed happily, then immediately turned around and got into his own car, starting it up first.
Xue Xianglan, as she said, followed behind his car, neither too fast nor too slow.
Xiang Linghao drove steadily, making sure she wouldn’t find it too slow, nor too fast to catch up.
Xue Xianglan’s lips curled slightly. After all these years, he was still so accommodating to her.
Is it that men who are doctors are more understanding and considerate?
Their cars stopped one after another outside a western restaurant. Xiang Linghao was the first to get out, running over to help her with the car door, and Xue Xianglan didn’t refuse.
Once inside the restaurant, they chose a quiet spot to sit down and ordered their meals.
Xiang Linghao’s hand under the table clenched and unclenched unconsciously, unsure of how to start.
Xue Xianglan took a sip of water and looked at him, "If you have something to say, just say it directly. You should remember I don’t like beating around the bush, right?"
Xiang Linghao nodded. Of course, he remembered. Her many habits, personality, and preferences, he hadn’t forgotten.
"In that case, I’ll be straightforward."
Xue Xianglan nodded, looking as if she was listening attentively.
Xiang Linghao didn’t dare to look at her. He lowered his head a bit, staring at the clean table. The glass on the table reflected the restaurant’s crystal lights, sparkling with subtle gleams.
"Xiang Lan, I owe you an apology. Seven years ago, I chose to give you up, to give up on our relationship and the future we planned, making you hate me all these years. Maybe you’re not as happy as you appear. I’m very sorry."
Upon hearing this, Xue Xianglan said lightly, "Ultimately, what happened back then was because my father was too dictatorial. It wasn’t just your fault alone."
"I know, in some ways it was indeed President Xue who forcibly separated us, but between the two of us, it was always me who chose to let go first. That’s a mistake I cannot shirk."
"So, what do you want?"
Xiang Linghao frowned a bit and took a while to speak, "For all these years, I thought you might have hated me so much that you wanted to forget about me, considering that maybe in this lifetime we’d just remain strangers."
And in those seven years, they indeed were like that, perhaps not even as good as strangers.
Strangers at least have the chance of brushing past each other on the street, but they didn’t even have that!
Listening to his words, Xue Xianglan arched her eyebrows secretly. This guy even thought about forgetting her!
"So, why didn’t you?" she asked.
Xiang Linghao suddenly gave a self-deprecating smile and said helplessly, "I can’t forget, no matter what. Seven years is indeed a long time, long enough that when we meet again, we’ve changed, and the shadows of the past are nowhere to be found. But some things are so deeply engraved in the bones that you can’t just forget even if you want to."
Matters of the heart are inherently unreasonable and cannot be manipulated at will.
If you could just let go or decide to forget as easily as that, then how come there are so many lovesick men and women and entangled obsessions in the world?
The inescapable shackles can only bind oneself within.
Xue Xianglan resonated deeply, indeed so.
In places unseen by others, or at certain moments, the longing in the heart will grow wildly like vines, completely beyond one’s choice and control.
"So, what are you trying to say now?"
Xue Xianglan’s tone and expression were both indifferent, and Xiang Linghao could no longer see through her heart.
He said, "All these years, I don’t expect you to forgive me or start over with me. But there are some things I’ve kept inside for so long, I’ve always wanted to tell you, yet never found the chance. Today just happens to be the right time. I’ll say it all, and even if you still don’t want to see me, I’ll walk away and make sure not to appear in front of you."
"You haven’t said anything yet, so how do you know I still don’t want to see you?"
Xiang Linghao paused, looking up at her. She leaned back in her chair, legs crossed, hands casually resting on her knees, still appearing laid-back and relaxed.
"You go ahead, I’ll listen. As for my stance after you’ve spoken, I’ll also make it clear to you."
It always felt like their conversation was too rational, but sometimes excessive rationality is a form of irrationality.
The dishes they ordered arrived at this moment. Xiang Linghao remained silent for a while, finding a soothing outlet for the hidden tension in his heart.
When the waiter left, Xiang Linghao said, "You must be hungry. Let’s talk while we eat."
"Okay." Xue Xianglan picked up the knife and fork, cutting into the foie gras.
Xiang Linghao watched her for a long moment before suddenly speaking, "Xiang Lan, I want to say, although I’m sorry about what happened seven years ago, I don’t regret the decision I made back then."
Xue Xianglan’s hand holding the knife and fork paused. She looked up, her gaze calm, but her heart was not.
"What do you mean? Do you plan to explain?"
Could it be that he had already stopped liking her back then? Was that why he let go so decisively?
Xiang Linghao looked at her seriously and said word by word, "At that time, I was just the son of a family doctor. You were a wealthy young lady. It’s true, my status wasn’t worthy of you, and at that time, I didn’t have the ability to fight against the Xue Family, nor the confidence to stand in front of your father and promise you a beautiful future.
"As a man, if you can’t even take care of the person you like, can’t give her a good life, then you’re useless. I didn’t want to be that kind of man.
"I liked you and wanted to give you the best, but in those circumstances, you would have lived a hard life with me. You were used to gourmet food and luxury homes, but you would have to squeeze into a small room and suffer with me. It really pained me.
"Xiang Lan, I didn’t give up on us on purpose, but I seriously let go. No matter the reason, it was ultimately me who wronged you."
Xue Xianglan was slightly stunned, her knife and fork unmoving. So, he gave up back then because he cared about her and didn’t want her to suffer with him?
He was really silly. Since she had followed him without hesitation back then, she hadn’t thought about going back. She was prepared for hardship.
Because she believed that as long as they were together, they could overcome all difficulties. He would carve out a life for them.
But thinking back now, her thoughts were too naive compared to Xiang Linghao’s clearer understanding.
They had nothing at that time, not even the capital to resist, let alone turn their situation around.
So, Xiang Linghao foresaw all the obstacles first and resolutely chose to let go, allowing her to return to a better life.
"You indeed saw it more clearly than I did," Xue Xianglan said.
Xiang Linghao gave a bitter smile, "I didn’t see clearly, but I knew you shouldn’t suffer with me."
No matter how much he suffered himself, he couldn’t bear for her to suffer even a little. Following him back then offered no hope.
He was oppressed everywhere by the Xue Family, unable to find even a normal job. How could he provide her with a good life or happiness?
Xue Xianglan felt both bitterness and sourness in her heart, "If not for my father’s strong opposition back then, if he were willing to accept you..."
Her words weren’t finished before Xiang Linghao interrupted her.
"If your father hadn’t opposed it back then, was willing to accept me, even letting me join your company to learn, perhaps becoming a vice president or a manager, but that’s not what I’m good at. And I would always be labeled as a man who relied on a woman.
"Back then, I was proud and had my own dignity. I absolutely couldn’t bear such rumors. Over time, I’d accumulate grievances, finally exploding one day, ending things with Xue Xianglan. That wasn’t the ending I wanted to see."
"Moreover, there was no such if. Xiang Lan, I actually have to thank your father. Thanks to his disdain and oppression back then, I’ve become who I am today. Now, even if we’re together, who would dare say we’re not a match?"
Even her father wouldn’t say another word.
The achievements Xiang Linghao has now are what many people desperately desire but can’t attain.
He’s the youngest person at the top of the medical world! And also an unparalleled figure.
Xue Xianglan nodded, "Yeah, your achievements are so great now that I actually feel like I’ve been mediocre for years—I’m a little unworthy of you."
Xiang Linghao frowned, "Xiang Lan, in my eyes, you’ve always been the best. I strive to catch up to you, not for you to belittle yourself."
In Xiang Linghao’s heart, only one Xue Xianglan in this world can be with him. If future companions aren’t her, he fears he’ll regret it for life.
But if Xue Xianglan can no longer accept him, he won’t insist. He would just always remember her without approaching.
It’s not that he’s generous or loves her any less, but if the other person doesn’t like him, being together will only make them both suffer.
He loves her so much; how could he bear to see her sad?
Xue Xianglan looked at him intently. He was more mature and stable than seven years ago, his features more defined, truly transforming from a boy into a young man.
"Thank you for thinking of me all these years," she said.
"You don’t need to say thank you. Thinking of you is my own business. If you feel troubled or uncomfortable, you can tell me. I won’t let you notice even a hint of it again."
He was always so considerate, considerate towards her alone.
Xue Xianglan felt a pang of sourness in her heart.
Shaking her head, she said, "No, it isn’t troubling."