"Zhongli, since you're faking your death, is the 'Rite of Descension' still necessary?" Paimon suddenly asked after the group left the Northland Bank.
"Of course."
Zhongli thought: If it weren't for my glorious retirement, why would I go to all this trouble?!
Now that only this final step was left to wrap things up, he had to see the act through to the end. How could he possibly give up?
"Alright, then when will the final 'Rite of Descension' begin?"
"Tomorrow at noon."
"Then I'll see you tomorrow."
Paimon and Lumine said goodbye to Zhongli. Paimon truly had her eyes opened to a new perspective; there were people who held their own funerals.
Returning to their lodging, Paimon was eager to share the big secret she discovered today with Feng Yi and witness Feng Yi's shocked expression.
Unfortunately, Feng Yi wasn't there, so Paimon would have to wait until tomorrow.
..........
Meanwhile, Feng Yi was standing with Hu Tao in front of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, waiting for the indebted Mr. Zhong to return.
"This is truly, truly infuriating! Zhongli never fails to give me a headache. Feng Yi, look at this bill I received today from the Heyu Tea House. Ten thousand Mora! Is Zhongli drinking tea, or is he drinking the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's Mora dry?"
Hu Tao paced back and forth in front of Feng Yi, holding a bill. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she sighed repeatedly.
"It's alright, it's alright. Doesn't Zhongli have his guest consultant salary? You can just deduct it from his pay," Feng Yi said, handing Hu Tao a cup of water to calm her down. He also decided to put in a good word for Zhongli, considering their relationship.
"Salary? It was all deducted at the beginning of the month..." Hu Tao said with a helpless expression.
She had already paid Zhongli according to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's highest standards, but it still couldn't withstand Zhongli's spending habits.
The industry was becoming increasingly sluggish. Even the half-price super sale on the second coffin couldn't attract orders. If they didn't find a solution soon, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would eventually be dragged into bankruptcy by an endless stream of bills.
"Feng Yi, I have a bold idea! The Geo Archon has already ascended, hasn't he? What if we find someone..."
Hu Tao's eyes suddenly lit up. She gulped down the water in her cup and then, full of spirit, began to discuss her plan with Feng Yi.
"That doesn't seem right, does it?" Feng Yi's lips twitched slightly upon hearing Hu Tao's plan.
According to Hu Tao's scheme, they would find someone to pretend to be possessed by the Geo Archon, much like an ancient ritual of divine possession. Then, speaking in the Archon's voice, they would tell everyone to purchase Wangsheng Funeral Parlor services in advance, promising that they could accompany the Geo Archon after death. Such a promotion would surely sell like hotcakes.
As for the candidate to pretend to be possessed, Hu Tao believed no one was more suitable than that guest consultant Zhongli, who wandered around everywhere and incurred debts haphazardly.
"Even so, if the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor were to go bankrupt, it would be a great loss to Liyue. I believe the departed soul of the Geo Archon will forgive us for impersonating him..."
Hu Tao planned to burn some incense for the Geo Archon later to seek forgiveness. For now, all they needed to do was catch Zhongli, who was constantly racking up debts outside.
Feng Yi thought: As long as you're happy...
Having "Lu Xun" impersonate "Zhou Shuren" would be an authentic performance. The key to this plan, however, lay in how to persuade Zhongli.
Half an hour later.
"Director, Feng Yi, why are you both standing outside?" Zhongli returned leisurely, and a sudden bad premonition struck him as he saw the two of them standing at the entrance.
"Hehe, Guest Consultant Zhongli, you wouldn't want the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to go bankrupt, would you?" Hu Tao's bright plum-blossom eyes flashed with a spark as she grinned at Zhongli.
"Director, what has happened? Please speak plainly." Zhongli's bad premonition intensified in an instant.
"Guest Consultant Zhongli, take a look. This was delivered today..." Hu Tao rustled the bill and presented it to Zhongli with a "swish."
"This is... Director, please let me explain, at the time..." Zhongli's eyelids twitched. The bill had arrived so quickly, catching him off guard.
He had originally planned to visit the sealing grounds when he had free time, catch up with some old 'friends,' and then find Feng Yi to exchange some Mora to cover this hole. It was just a Demon God's snake gall, something his 'old friends' had in abundance. However, he had been so busy arranging his faked death that he'd forgotten, and now he was caught by the Director at the door. Truly an oversight.
"Even if you can explain this, what about all these?" As she spoke, Hu Tao solemnly took out a stack of bills.
"Please give me some time, and I will be able to explain everything clearly..."
"There's no need. Guest Consultant Zhongli, in a few days, I'll need your help. If you agree, all the outstanding bills will be cleared. How about it?" Hu Tao looked at Zhongli slyly.
"Director, what favor?"
"Hehe, it's not a big deal. I just want you to impersonate the Geo Archon. Here are your lines..." Hu Tao chuckled, sensing success! She had even prepared the script and lines.
Zhongli: ......
"Speaking from a position of universal reason, my previous actions have indeed caused the Director quite a bit of trouble. Both morally and logically, I should take responsibility. Therefore, I agree."
"Oh my, oh my! As expected of our Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's most reliable guest consultant! Then, I'll let bygones be bygones regarding the previous matters!" Hu Tao said with a smile, leading Zhongli back inside to eat.
Looking at the table full of delicious dishes, Zhongli wondered if he would have gone hungry tonight if he hadn't agreed. Hu Tao asserted that it was impossible. She was the most considerate Director, and even if he hadn't agreed, there would still be food, albeit cooked by her personally.
The next day, Hu Tao assigned Feng Yi the task of renting the event venue. Before leaving, she instructed Zhongli to memorize the lines from the script, while she herself went to prepare more flyers and props needed for the event.
The Jade Chamber Plaza was abuzz with activity. Many Liyue citizens had spontaneously gathered, all waiting for the 'Rite of Descension' to begin, to send the Geo Archon on his final journey.
"Lumine, Feng Yi didn't come back all night yesterday. I wonder where he went. Do you think he'll be here today for the 'Rite of Descension'?"
"Don't worry, Feng Yi is very powerful. Even Demon Gods are no match for him. He'll be fine..." Lumine smiled gently, telling Paimon to relax.
"Hmph, I'm not worried about him! I just... I just want to see his shocked expression when he learns that the Geo Archon is actually alive..." Paimon turned her head away, saying this in a tsundere manner.
Hearing Paimon's reply, Lumine simply smiled and said nothing. She wondered who it was that was murmuring in her sleep last night, telling Feng Yi to come back quickly and treat her to chicken legs.
She led Paimon to the Jade Chamber Plaza as well, waiting to rendezvous with Zhongli and commence the final 'Rite of Descension'...