Chapter 123: An Existential Crisis
With the motivational speech he uttered for Claudia, it looked like Sheva was confident in his pairing for the second day. However, that was far from the truth. Hell, if anything, this somehow worried him a little bit. After all, they were not just here to gain experience. Well, maybe it was true for Master Irene. However, Sheva and Claudia came here with a mission, and that was to improve their rating as highly as possible. It would be better to face an old and washed grandmaster whose rating was still around 2400 – 2500 rather than having this matchup.
Unfortunately, nothing could be done about the pairing, so the best he could do was to fight with all his might for the second match tomorrow.
After everyone was back in their respective room, Sheva spent the entire night researching about all the participants of this tournament. Well, not all, just those who caught his attention, especially the young superstars whose ratings completely blew his mind. True enough, he found so many young grandmasters in this tournament, and they had already established themselves as strong grandmaster although they were still around 15 – 18.
For example, he found three Indian grandmasters on the list whose ages were around 16. The first one was Gukesh Dommaraju, the second-seeded player of the tournament and one of the favorites to win it all. Then, there was also Praggnanandhaa Rameshbabu, whose rating was slightly below Gukesh, with 2624. Besides them, Sadhwani Raunak also caught Sheva’s attention as the boy was around his age, yet his rating had already reached 2630.
They weren’t the only talented players from India, as that country still had more geniuses like Nihal Sarin or Arjun Erigaisi, whose ratings were somehow higher than theirs. Then, there were also prodigies from other countries like Hans Niemann and Mishra Abhimanyu from America, who were projected to reach a 2700 rating in the next few years, or monsters like Alireza Firouzja from France or Nodirbek Abdusattorov from Uzbekistan, who were already accomplished players even among the top super GMs in the world.
Honestly, the prodigies in chess seemed to get younger as time passed by, and this somehow intimidated Sheva, who only played chess when he was 17.
’Man... Even though they are young, they have been playing chess for more than five years to get to this level... Could I reach the same height and stand against them as an equal in the future?’ Sheva muttered to himself, somehow feeling an existential crisis right now.
Sheva spent almost all night searching for all the prodigies that he should have his eyes on, and somehow, the boy forgot that he still had a game tomorrow. The boy didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep already, and the moment he woke up, he could feel all of his body aching from the lack of sleep.
"Oh, man... I am so stupid..." He groaned weakly, trying to stretch his stiff body. "Where is Bagas, anyway? Also, what time is this?" The boy checked his phone just to find out that it was 8:55, only one hour before the game began. He also found that Bagas chatted on his phone first before leaving, and the content somehow warmed his heart.
’I see you stayed up late last night, so I let you sleep for a while. I will be back around 9 A.M. and bring something to fill your stomach. Also, dress decently, Claudia will probably want to join me.’
’Dress decently, who is talking here?’ Sheva snorted, feeling irony that Bagas reminded him of that. Still, he followed the boy’s instruction, washing his face and brushing his teeth first before changing into the clothes he had prepared already last night.
He still wore the simple combination yesterday: a plain white shirt and dark trousers combined with the black blazer that he borrowed from Bagas. Even though he saw a lot of people wearing attire that was pretty much questionable by the rules and were still allowed to play, Sheva didn’t want to risk his game being affected by such a trivial matter.
Fifteen minutes later, Bagas finally arrived back at the room, and true enough, he brought Claudia with him. Not only that, he also brought a tray full of local pastries and a cup of hot coffee, knowing that it was important to activate Sheva’s brain.
"Hey, you have woken up already! Good!" Bagas nodded satisfactorily when he saw that Sheva was ready. "Here, eat first before we go to the game."
"Thanks!" Sheva grabbed one of the pastries there and gobbled it immediately.
"Eat it slowly, will you?!" Claudia cringed in disgust. "Anyway, why are you staying up late? You should’ve known that you have an important game today, right?" There was no accusation in her tone, just curiosity. After all, Claudia knew that Sheva was always a responsible boy, so it was rare for him to slip like that.
"Don’t worry, just having a little existential crisis." Sheva waved off the question nonchalantly. At the questioning gazes from Bagas and Claudia, he added, "I was a little bit curious about your opponent, Mishra Abhimanyu, and somehow, things spiraled uncontrollably, and before I knew it, I had already read about all the genius chess players around my age. It is crazy to think that so many young teenagers like me have already had that much experience, while here, I am still in my third ever tournament. I just wonder, how long would it take for me to stand against them on equal ground?"
That... It was indeed a deep thing to think, and somehow, Claudia admired the fact that Sheva could think something like this. After all, most of the Indonesian chess players were always satisfied after getting a title, and even the best, like Master Susanto and Master Priasmoro, somehow lost their drive to step up into the higher stage once they earned the GM title. Even though this existential crisis came at the wrong time, at least this showed that Sheva would never be satisfied with being just an ordinary player, that he was aiming for the highest stage in the chess world too.
Still, she knew that this was not the best time to think about that, so, just like what Sheva did to her yesterday, the little girl returned the favor by giving him a little speech.
"Don’t worry too much about the future, Shev." The little girl patted his shoulder firmly, which looked funny considering the height difference between the two. "You might start far later than those geniuses, but in my mind, your talent is up there with them all. Just be patient and walk one step at a time, okay? Your time will come soon, so just be patient and improve your rating slowly. Focus on what is going on today. Think about it like this. If you somehow got a positive result against a GM with the rating 2582 with your current ability, that means your future peak will be higher than his, right?"
Sheva felt the corner of his lips twitch a little, knowing that the logic was too far-fetched in Claudia’s speech. Still, he knew what she was trying to do, and it would be a lie if the boy said he didn’t appreciate it. A soft, genuine smile suddenly formed on his face as he patted Claudia’s head gently, feeling warm inside his heart.
"Thank you, but don’t worry about me." Said the boy. "Just watch me. I will show you that my future peak will definitely be higher than 2582."