Shen Muzhi had to admit that, at least in this regard, Liu Buli was astonishingly bold.
Yet, alongside the shock, a fierce jealousy surged anew.
Shen Muzhi pondered.
If the person by his side accepted him, would they also be willing to make their relationship public? Would they, like Liu Buli, kiss their beloved without hesitation in front of everyone, declaring them their one and only Dao Companion?
This question arose for less than a second before Shen Muzhi affirmed it himself.
He absolutely would.
Because he envied those who could do such things, and he was jealous of Liu Buli. If the one he loved were willing to give him a chance, he would want every being in the world, including flowers, birds, fish, insects, grass, trees, mountains, and stones—anything with a spirit—to know that they were his Dao Companion.
His Dao Companion alone.
No one could snatch them away.
He truly wished for this, and he was certain he could achieve it. But the problem was, unlike Liu Buli, the prerequisite for all this was absent.
He had no Dao Companion with mutual affection.
It was merely a one-sided love affair with no ending.
At this thought, a flicker of sorrow crossed Shen Muzhi's eyes. But in the next moment, this profound sadness was replaced by his usual smile. Turning back to You Siqi's face, Shen Muzhi said with a smile, "Siqi, are you really not going to consider what Daoist Liu said earlier? Think about it, if we were together, I would hold a Dao Companion ceremony for us that everyone could witness. It would be even more spectacular than what they're doing now, telling everyone in the most direct way that we are a couple. Isn't that much braver than what they're doing? If you're afraid of how others will look at you, that's fine too. Since you've found a way back, you'll leave this world. Then you won't hear what people here say about you. Wouldn't that make it irrelevant?"
He could experience the bravery he desired but dared not, and then depart freely, without worrying about any gossip.
If it were truly possible, it would indeed be an excellent choice.
But...
You Siqi clenched his fist and then punched Shen Muzhi squarely in the cheek.
He put so much force into it that Shen Muzhi, caught completely off guard, was struck so hard his cheek turned red, and blood trickled from the corner of his mouth.
Suddenly taking such a blow, Shen Muzhi was momentarily stunned.
In his eyes, You Siqi had always been a timid little rabbit who liked to hide behind him. So what was this now? Had he pushed the rabbit too far, and his little rabbit had learned to bite?
There was no trace of anger; in fact, a hint of surprise appeared in his eyes. Shen Muzhi looked at You Siqi's face, and only when he saw the other's eyes begin to redden did he become a little anxious. "Siqi, I was just joking. Don't cry..."
"Is that how you joke!?" You Siqi seemed to think the punch wasn't enough, and he raised his foot to stomp hard on Shen Muzhi again. Tears were already welling up in his eyes, and his voice trembled. He said, "I told you long ago, I can't do something so scummy! If I leave, what about you? I won't hear the insults directed at me, but you will hear them! You're supposed to be a proud prodigy admired by all. Why should you fall from grace over something like this and let people backstab you!?"
Shen Muzhi blinked.
He desperately wanted to tell You Siqi that if he were willing to be with him, even for a short time, even just to complete a Dao Companion ceremony and share a loving embrace, he wouldn't care if he became a laughingstock of the entire cultivation world, reviled and ostracized by everyone.
Because he didn't care what others thought of him, and he didn't care about anyone else's opinions.
The only person he cared about was one who might leave this world at any moment.
So he just wanted to possess that, just once, before they left.
Just once, a very short time would be enough.
Even if it was fleeting, it wouldn't matter.
It would be much more comforting than looking back years later and realizing that the only romance of his life hadn't been mutual...
These words remained unspoken, held back by Shen Muzhi.
Because seeing You Siqi's state, he knew that if he said them, the other would definitely burst into tears.
The little rabbit was still a little rabbit.
Even when biting, he himself would be the one to feel more pain in the end.
A growing sense of helplessness filled his heart, yet Shen Muzhi managed to force a smile for You Siqi. He extended one hand towards the other and said, "Not as a couple, not as Dao Companions, not as lovers. Just as friends, hold my hand, and let's go wander in the city, okay?"
This question was too much of a violation.
Not Dao Companions, not lovers. Who on earth would have two grown men hold hands for no reason?!
You Siqi really wanted to curse.
But looking at Shen Muzhi's face, the words that came to his lips were inexplicably swallowed back.
Just holding hands once.
Just as friends.
It should be fine...