After arranging everything for Lu Wuming, Liu Buli found himself unable to sleep.
From the moment their communication was cut off, Liu Buli stared at the ceiling beams, silent and still.
He maintained the same posture for nearly two hours, but eventually, Liu Buli couldn't bear it any longer.
He got up, threw on an outer garment, and went to sit in the courtyard. Looking up at the full moon, he was suddenly reminded of the poems he had memorized in school.
Back then, it was all rote memorization, and he never truly understood the emotions the poems conveyed. Yet, after so much time, and having lived in a different world, he felt he could now grasp the sorrow of drinking alone under the moon.
"I didn't rush you about your furnace during this time because I wanted you to rest properly. After all, your physical condition isn't the best, and I thought you knew this," a familiar voice came from behind him, laced with evident helplessness. "But now, it seems I overestimated your self-awareness?"
Hearing the voice, Liu Buli turned to look in the direction of the sound. Seeing Shen Muzhi approaching, he could only offer a smile full of apology. Shaking his head, he said, "Why are you up too? I thought I was quiet and didn't disturb anyone else."
"Indeed, Siqi is still sleeping soundly, you didn't disturb him at all," Shen Muzhi chuckled. "However, when I sleep, I always like to release my spiritual energy to scan and defend the surroundings. Yaoshi Valley has never been very safe, and this habit, maintained for so many years, isn't easy to break."
Liu Buli sheepishly touched his nose. "Then I disturbed you."
Shen Muzhi waved his hand.
He sat down on the stone bench opposite Liu Buli and said, "A lot has happened recently, making it difficult to get a peaceful night's sleep. Since I can't sleep anyway, why don't you treat me as someone to talk to? If something is bothering you, say it. Keeping it bottled up isn't good for your recovery."
Shen Muzhi spoke earnestly.
And Liu Buli, of course, understood such simple reasoning.
They had been friends for so many years that even if he couldn't show it to others, Liu Buli could let down some of the masks he wore for so long in front of Shen Muzhi.
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Looking back at Shen Muzhi, a hint of confusion appeared in Liu Buli's eyes.
Carefully choosing his words, he began, "To be honest, I've been thinking these past two days whether the decisions I'm making now are right or wrong."
Shen Muzhi tilted his head.
Liu Buli continued, "In my original plan, I was supposed to protect Lu Wuming well. I didn't want him to do anything troublesome or dangerous. I would do all those things for him; he just needed to stay by my side. But now I find that things are deviating from my control step by step. Not only that, but Lu Wuming is also getting injured more and more often. Do you know, I actually found myself teaching him how to take risks? It was a good idea, at least I still think so. But I'm also worried, if Lu Wuming gets hurt because of these things, can my so-called right decisions still be considered right?"
As he recounted his inner turmoil, Shen Muzhi listened quietly. Only when he finished speaking did Shen Muzhi smile and offer a simple reply, "Lu Wuming is not a child. When we first met and I examined him, I told you then that he wasn't a child you needed to constantly protect. Whether it was then or now, you've never truly taken that most important advice to heart."
Liu Buli blinked.
He seriously considered Shen Muzhi's words, then finally shook his head gently. "It's different. You Siqi isn't a child either, and he can take care of himself. So, if I asked you to let go of him, to stop shielding him like you do now, could you do it?"
Shen Muzhi was silent for a moment, then quietly shook his head. "You Siqi and Lu Wuming are fundamentally different. He can't do without me."
"Wuming is the same," Liu Buli smiled, glancing at Shen Muzhi's eyes. Finally, they both wore the same expression.
They both worried about their loved ones.
At least on this simple matter, they could be the mentors convincing each other, but they could never convince themselves.
They were so alike.
Patting Liu Buli's shoulder, Shen Muzhi took out a jar of wine. He poured a cup for each of them, then raised his cup towards Liu Buli and said, "Liu Buli, I know these words of comfort might sound like I'm speaking from a position of privilege, but that's the reality. You say Lu Wuming can't do without you, and I don't deny that at all. You are his mind. If you start doubting your own right and wrong, then Lu Wuming is truly finished. So, never doubt any decision you make. Whatever you tell him, you must firmly believe you are right. Only by doing this can both of you be at ease. At least in this regard, I can say I'm stronger than you. Because when Siqi asks me if my decisions are okay, I've never told him no. If the sky falls, and you decide to bear it for him, then you must stand tall and bear it, don't let him feel unnecessary tension."
It had to be said, Shen Muzhi, as a physician, possessed a professionalism that was truly convincing, both physically and psychologically.
Listening to his words, Liu Buli finally showed a relieved expression. He reached for his wine cup and clinked it with Shen Muzhi's.
They both downed the strong liquor in their cups.
When he put down his cup, Liu Buli spoke, "Shouldn't I have rested enough by now? I mean, Wuming is working hard, shouldn't I also solve my own problems as soon as possible?"