Xie Jiayan was reading in the pavilion at this hour every day. Yu Mingyue, without needing any invitation, sat down opposite Xie Jiayan and took out her own book from the cloth bag sewn for her by Nanny Rong.
"What is sought is obtained, what is abandoned is lost; what is sought is beneficial to obtaining, it is sought within oneself. If sought with the Way, it is obtained by destiny; what is sought is not beneficial to obtaining, it is sought without oneself." Yu Mingyue frowned, repeatedly reading this sentence.
"Have a question?" Xie Jiayan stopped and asked.
"Yes, does this mean that seeking is divided into two types, one within oneself and one outside? Seeking within oneself, with effort one can achieve it."
"As for seeking outside oneself, it is beyond one's control, so one should not force it. Success depends on heaven, and forcing it will bring suffering."
"But how exactly do you judge whether it is within or outside? If you don't try everything, how do you know it won't work? Isn't it said that man can conquer heaven, and everyone can become a Yao or Shun, so why also say not to force it? Isn't this contradictory?"
Xie Jiayan put down the book in his hand. "In fact, whether what is sought is within or outside oneself, the decision still lies within oneself. If you believe it is within yourself and can bear the worst consequences, then there is no distinction between inside and outside, just like the saying: 'If I examine myself and find I am not right, I will be uneasy even if I face a multitude of people. If I examine myself and find I am right, I will go forward even against thousands of people.'"
"The Way is where I will go even against thousands of people? Is that what this means?" Yu Mingyue tentatively asked.
She thought that a celestial gentleman like Xie Jiayan would not have such an obsession about not forcing things, and would scold her for quibbling.
"Precisely! What is sought is in the heart, and the Way is also in the heart. With the Way in the heart, life is endless."
"Then what is the Way in Brother Jiayan's heart?"
After the imperial court abolished the Nine-Rank system, the aristocratic families banded together to resist the imperial examinations. Although there were not a few talented individuals among the common people, they were, after all, a minority.
The court was short of talent, with no one to employ. The Great Wei was plagued by internal strife and constant external threats.
Xie Jiayan emerged at the most perilous time for the Great Wei. His life was dedicated to the state and its people, personally attending to all matters, day and night.
She did not know the ending of the Seventh Prince and Su Wanqing in the storybook, but she knew Xie Jiayan's ending.
When she opened the storybook, she casually flipped to a page. That page happened to describe Xie Jiayan's ending: he died for the state, perishing at a young age.
His life was without private residences, without private property, without a wife, and without heirs. After his death, many scholars rushed from all over, spontaneously building huts by his grave to mourn him. Even the Emperor suspended court for three days in his honor, and the nation grieved.
Xie Jiayan's gentle gaze looked into the distance. "Probably freedom."
"Freedom?" Yu Mingyue was puzzled. "Brother Jiayan, are you not free?"
"One must be confined in heart and balanced in thought before acting," Xie Jiayan retracted his gaze, a faint smile at the corner of his lips.
Perhaps it was because the weather today was gloomy, but Yu Mingyue felt that Xie Jiayan's smile was somewhat... melancholy.
Yu Mingyue frowned. "I don't understand!"
"You don't need to understand now," Xie Jiayan said gently.
"I don't know what freedom you speak of, but I know you will definitely achieve it, because no one in this world is more capable than you."
Thinking of the scene where all nations paid tribute, Yu Mingyue felt immensely proud. A generation's Grand Chancellor, his legacy would last for eternity; he deserved to be remembered.
"Is that so?"
"Of course, Brother Jiayan, you must believe in yourself."
"Alright!"
The first day of the fourth month, auspicious for marriage, prayer, and travel, was an excellent day.
When Xie Jiayan left, the sky had not yet brightened, but one could see the sun about to break through the dawn.
Yu Mingyue did not climb over the wall today. She waited early at the Xie family's gate to see Xie Jiayan off for the imperial examination.
Yu Mingyue's eyes were filled with unconcealable smiles, a feeling of having bet on the right horse that others would not understand.
"Brother Jiayan, I've prepared the gifts. When you return, you must invite me to a feast at Wuwei Ju."
"Alright!"