When Rong Hua awoke, it was still deep in the night. The sleeping chambers were vast and desolate. He had been woken by a nightmare, but by the time he became conscious, he couldn't recall anything.
He only knew that he had been in immense pain in his dream.
With all his sleepiness gone, Rong Hua casually threw on a coat and walked out. He didn't know where he was going, he just wanted to clear his head.
But as he walked, he unconsciously found himself at Shen Yue's sleeping chambers. He hadn't even realized it himself until he saw the familiar surroundings and came back to his senses.
This was the place he was most familiar with in Qing Xin Hall. As a child, he had practically lived here day and night, unable to be driven away.
After hesitating for a moment, he still pushed open the door and entered.
The sleeping chambers were still very clean, without a speck of dust. He sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch the bedding beside him; it was ice cold.
Shen Yue had left a long time ago, silently, without even sending a message. His heart had been in a state of panic for these past few nights.
He wondered if the words he had said to Shen Yue that day had been too harsh.
He had no choice, he couldn't control himself, and he couldn't stand by and watch Shen Yue remain indifferent.
He just wanted to break the calm on Shen Yue's face.
He didn't actually want to ignore Shen Yue, it was just that every time he saw her dote on him as if he were so important, he felt disgusted.
Because he knew better than anyone that it wasn't genuine kindness towards him, nor did it truly belong to him...
Just thinking about it made his mood increasingly irritable, accompanied by a throbbing pain in his chest. He wondered if he would stop hurting if they never saw each other again.
Would he become normal if he slowly distanced himself?
His attitude changed incredibly quickly. Shen Yue went from initial confusion to eventual calmness. She always seemed to maintain a state of composure and rationality, nothing could make her lose her composure, yet her kindness towards him never changed.
But the kinder she was to him, the more indifferent and dismissive his attitude became. He allowed Yin Jing's closeness partly because he wanted to test Shen Yue.
However, Shen Yue didn't care at all. Shen Yue even said she would host a grand wedding banquet for him...138 Reading Network
How laughable.
If that was the case, then he would fulfill Shen Yue's wish. Perhaps things were meant to be this way, rather than being a lowly substitute for someone else.
He indulged Yin Jing's intimacy and also began to slowly distance himself from Shen Yue, believing he could forget, that he could be as heartless as Shen Yue.
The distance between the two grew wider and wider. They barely saw each other for days, and even when they met, they spoke only a few words.
He thought... he had let go.
But when he saw Shen Yue drinking and dining with another man, he still couldn't control himself, consumed by furious jealousy.
It was as if his self-delusion was being mocked.
The day Yin Jing died, Rong Hua's conflict with Shen Yue escalated to its peak.
He didn't know what he was angry about; he just wanted to unleash all the grievances and pain he had suffered, wanting the person in front of him to show even a shred of emotion.
Even just a little bit, directed at him, not at someone else, that would be enough.
But there was nothing.
Shen Yue remained as lofty as ever, dressed in pure white, while he was in disarray.
Rong Hua finally understood at that moment that even if he knelt before Shen Yue like a dog, she would never show any mercy.
Rong Hua thought it was like this.
But then Shen Yue suddenly became so kind to him again, just like in his childhood. He thought his heart had become as hard as iron and stone, that he would never be moved again.
But he was just hopelessly weak!
Now Shen Yue hadn't returned yet, she hadn't even told him where she was going.
He couldn't remember when he had become so capricious, so violent and cruel, so cold and unfeeling.
Perhaps it was from the moment he learned he was merely a substitute, and all his paths began to change stealthily.
All that remained were boundless hatred and unwillingness.
The rage of unfulfilled desire drove him to madness, making him want to tear and ravage that indifferent exterior again and again, until blood flowed freely and his body was bruised and battered, only then could he find a sliver of reality.
That would mean Shen Yue still had him in her heart, because she too would feel pain for his pain.
—
When Yao'er entered the room, Shen Yue had already dressed. Her white plain clothes were clean and neat. Although the clothes were simple, she wore them with an air of noble dignity.
She didn't cover her eyes with a white cloth, but instead opened those hollow yet beautiful pale red eyes.
"Yao'er."
Yao'er responded with joy, "It's me, it's me."
"Where is Chang Sheng?" Shen Yue asked.
Yao'er, like a clingy child, hugged Shen Yue's leg, tilting his small face up. His innocent and pure face bore a sweet smile. "Chang Sheng went to catch a little rabbit. He said he wants to fatten up the immortal, feed the immortal until he's plump, so he won't be able to fly anymore."
If he can't fly, he can't leave.
Yao'er thought so innocently.
Shen Yue couldn't help but laugh and worry at the same time. "What if he encounters danger again?"
Thinking this, Shen Yue wanted to go out and look, but the child hugged her legs tightly. Yao'er pouted, "It's dangerous outside, Immortal, don't go."
He looked pitiful, not wanting Shen Yue to leave. He actually regretted it deeply. If he had stopped the Immortal from going to find Chang Sheng, would the Immortal not have been injured?
He also didn't want to make Shen Yue unhappy, so he could only act spoiled and pitiful, hoping Shen Yue would change her mind.
Shen Yue gently stroked the child's soft hair. It felt very nice, and she couldn't help but touch it again.
"Don't worry, I'm just going to take a look, there won't be any danger."
"No, no," the child stubbornly refused to let go, whimpering in his throat.
After a long period of fussing, the sound of footsteps came from the courtyard.
Chang Sheng walked over in a hurry, dressed in green, carrying a rabbit in his hand. The rabbit was still alive, kicking its feet with difficulty.
But as he stepped into the courtyard and saw the figure in white through the window, he abruptly slowed his pace and walked over slowly.
Shen Yue had been about to reason with the child, but she didn't expect this child to be so difficult to deal with. His voice was soft, on the verge of tears, making him exceptionally endearing.
Actually, Shen Yue didn't really like children. Children were too noisy, too rowdy, and too troublesome.
But she was extremely fond of well-behaved children.
She was still looking down, listening to Yao'er's spoiled demands, when a tall shadow suddenly blocked her vision. Her eyes shifted slightly. Although she couldn't see clearly, she could vaguely sense the dark figure.
Yao'er turned his head and called out aggrievedly, "Chang Sheng."
Chang Sheng pulled Yao'er off her lap and handed him the still energetic little rabbit, showing no guilt for making the child do something.
"Skin this rabbit and clean out its insides."