Feng Er left, and the maids serving in the room naturally became more assertive.
Although Yin Canwen was an outsider, it was somewhat improper for him to speak alone with the young lady in her boudoir.
However, this was in her own home, so it was not a major issue.
Yin Canwen vaguely sensed what Feng Jinyao intended to say, but before she could speak, he always held onto a sliver of hope.
"I'm sorry."
Feng Jinyao's apology was delayed by so many days.
But as it left her lips, she felt a great sense of relief.
"Why does Third Miss say that?"
"Young Master Yin, you have the ambition of a swan and the talent to govern the world. Anything can help you achieve great things in the imperial court in the future. If you were to find a virtuous wife to assist you, your family life would surely be happy."
"Third Miss speaks wisely, but Canwen also has someone in his heart whom he cares for. I just don't know if she is willing."
"Unwilling."
The words were both harsh and decisive.
Seeing Yin Canwen's sorrow, his hopes shattered, Feng Jinyao felt apologetic, but not pained.
"Why? Is it because I..."
Yin Canwen wanted to know the reason, why Feng Jinyao wouldn't even give him a chance to speak his mind.
"It has nothing to do with your family background, nor with you as a person. Even if you were to hold a high position and power today, my answer would be the same. The most important thing to avoid in matters of the heart is coercion. I have no intention of forming any attachments with anyone, so Young Master Yin should not waste his efforts."
Her resolute attitude made Yin Canwen feel deeply saddened.
He wanted to say something more, but Feng Jinyao's words blocked him again.
Looking down at the red string on Yin Canwen's wrist, Feng Jinyao felt she should be clearer, otherwise, giving someone a chance only to shatter their hopes would be too much.
So, she slowly explained her current state of mind.
"Young Master Yin, I have been accustomed to a life of luxury since childhood, and my family doted on me, which is why I developed such a carefree disposition. I thought my life would continue in such a peaceful manner, but I never expected to experience what I did a few months ago. In my dreams, my family was destroyed, my relatives died tragically, and I could not escape the cycle of reincarnation. All because I trusted the wrong person. Therefore, to this day, I do not wish to step into the tumultuous world of love and romance. It's not that I am indifferent to you, but rather indifferent to everyone."
She sighed deeply as she spoke.
"A woman's life is not limited to marriage and childbirth. I want to break free from these confines and see the prosperity of the world outside. I want to pursue the finest delicacies and wines, and sleep for days under an apricot blossom grove. I want to row a boat on a lotus lake, use lotus leaves as a hat and lotus flowers as a staff, and laugh at the cool hues of the world. There are so many things I want to do, rather than becoming someone's dependence, someone's family member. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Yin Canwen gave a bitter smile. Who wouldn't yearn for such a glorious time in their youth?
But he had just achieved his scholarly success. How could he give up now?
Even if he were willing to give up, how could he achieve these things without financial support?
Not only was he short of money, but he was also not a man of sentiment.
Thinking of this, he realized they were two different kinds of people.
One was still struggling for basic sustenance, aspiring to achieve great things in the imperial court, to plead for the common people, and to share the burdens of the world; the other simply wanted to escape the constraints of the mundane world and live a life of freedom as she pleased.
Was anyone wrong?
No.
But people like them would never cross paths.
Hearing this, Yin Canwen understood that he would never have a romantic connection with her in this lifetime.
He clenched his fists and said to Feng Jinyao,
"It was my presumption. I hope Third Miss can live the life she desires, with lifelong peace, joy, and good health."
After saying this, he got up and left.
As he walked out of the courtyard gate, he didn't even hear Feng Er's call.
Seeing him so dejected, even Feng Er, as foolish as he was, could understand what had happened.
He turned and entered the inner room. Seeing Feng Jinyao looking calm, he felt a bit indignant for his friend.
"Did Ah Yao say something harsh?"
"Yes."
"Canwen is a good person. Would you like to give him a chance to try?"
"No."
This cold-hearted demeanor was unbearable not only to Yin Canwen, who had feelings for her, but also to Feng Er.
He had intended to persuade her further, but Feng Jinyao's complexion was not good.
Recalling their mother's words about her still being ill, Feng Jinlin sighed and said to her,
"If you don't want to, then don't. Ah Yao, you should rest well. Second Brother will visit you again tomorrow."
"Alright."
Feng Er turned to leave, planning to check on Yin Canwen. Being rejected by the one he admired was not a pleasant experience. He thought about how he himself was still hesitant to even express his feelings, and couldn't help but shake his head.
Feng Er, Feng Er, once proud of being decisive and resolute, now dared not even approach the person he liked. He was not as good as Brother Canwen.
Feng Jinyao was unaware of his inner turmoil. Not long after Yin Canwen left, their mother arrived.
Her face was filled with worry, no less than before.
Seeing her sitting calmly by the bedside, with a peaceful expression and a thoughtful gaze, she felt both pride as a mother and concern for her daughter.
"Ah Yao."
"Mother has arrived."
"Yes, I came to see how you are. Are you feeling any better?"
"Mother, please don't worry. I'm much better. I'll be able to go out in two more days."
"That's good."
Madam Feng hesitated to speak, and Feng Jinyao, being sharp, naturally understood what she wanted to say. However, she also had something to say and decided to take the initiative.
"Mother, have you been looking for a suitable match for your daughter these days?"
Feng Jinyao was half a month away from her coming-of-age ceremony, so it wasn't too early to discuss such matters. She nodded.
After receiving Madam Feng's affirmative reply, Feng Jinyao laid bare her thoughts.
"Daughter does not wish to marry so early."
"Ah Yao, don't worry. We are only looking at potential candidates now, and it won't be a quick marriage. If a suitable family is chosen, the entire process of matchmaking and betrothal will take one or two years. By then, it will be the perfect time to marry."
Madam Feng thought she was worried about this and explained.
Unfortunately, Feng Jinyao's thoughts were different.
"Mother, I've always admired the deep love between you and Father, and I yearn for a lifelong monogamous relationship. However, marriage cannot be forced. If fate has not arrived, even a marriage will turn into a resentful union. Therefore, I have always believed that I must choose someone with whom I share a mutual affection and whose values align with mine. Before that, I will not settle for any suitor based on their family background, nor will I rush into an engagement due to societal pressure."
Madam Feng appeared somewhat troubled. While what she said was true, achieving it would be rather difficult.
The good match she and Feng Hai had was, in the end, due to a well-matched introduction.