Chapter 123: Chapter 71 Grudge_3
The chief examiner had no personal vendetta against him, and even if, as Lu Tong said, the man was bribed and corrupted, the offense did not warrant death. How could he lay hands on him?
Besides, having been a commoner for so many years, he was already accustomed to swallowing his pride and grievances. He didn’t even entertain the thought of contesting the unfairness and oppression.
If it had been the eighteen-year-old Wu Youcai, perhaps he might still possess a sliver of courage to stand against this murky world and the powerful elites. But the Wu Youcai, worn down by the hardships of life, had long lost that spirit. He was like a sheet of ink-stained paper, smoothed out and laid bare between heaven and earth, allowing the wind and rain to batter him without resistance.
"Fairness" was a luxury that the poor dared not even dream of. Perhaps only in death could they go to Yama’s court to receive an ounce of it from Judge Yama.
He shook his head as if to rid his mind of these tumultuous thoughts, and bowed his head to force the lid off the exam basket.
The basket contained some old items that he needed to replace with fresh paper and ink, to take with him to the exam cell tomorrow.
He reached in and pulled out a few sheets of old paper and after rummaging around, his fingertips suddenly touched something hard. Puzzled, he took it out—it was a small bundle wrapped in layers of red floral cloth.
This was... Wu Youcai focused his attention.
The red floral cloth was left over from the scraps his mother used for mending clothes. It seemed like the bundle was secretly placed there by his mother. He picked up the bundle, his fingers tracing over the coarse cloth, almost feeling his mother’s lingering warmth.
After examining it for a while, Wu Youcai tried to open the bundle. It was wrapped tightly, layer upon layer, and it took him unpacking five or six layers before it was completely unwrapped. Inside, among some bits of dry grass, lay neatly arranged ten Silver Ingots.
Actually a hundred taels of Silver.
Wu Youcai was stunned on the spot.
This was the Silver his mother had left for him!
It was as if a needle suddenly pierced his heart, a dense pain spreading swiftly from within, and Wu Youcai’s tears erupted instantly.
His mother lived a life of frugality, earning no more than a handful of coins for each fish she sold. He could not imagine how long it took her to save these hundred taels of Silver, but it was surely the accumulation of her painstaking efforts on his behalf. She had never told Wu Youcai, perhaps fearing he would waste the money on useless medicine, or for some other reason.
The scholar sat despondently on the ground, his tears falling like a gushing spring. He could almost see his mother, with her frail and sickly body, exchanging a trunk full of copper coins for ten beautiful Silver Ingots, cleaning each ingot carefully, wrapping them meticulously in cloth, and hiding them in the exam basket. He could almost see his mother standing before him, comforting him with her usual smile, "My son, once you pass your examination and become an official, you can’t afford to be petty and miserly. You should hold your head high, and don’t let others look down on you with these Silver Ingots!"
Her voice and smile seemed so close, yet he lay prostrate on the ground, wailing in grief. Amidst his sorrow, a strong sense of resentment and unwillingness flared in his heart.
He would never pass the exam, he would never become an official! The ladder above was barred by others, because he was nothing but a poor fishmonger from the fish market!
Wu Youcai abruptly raised his head, glaring ferociously at the oil-paper packet in the corner of the desk. Under the dim light, amidst the striking contrast of the scattered Silver Ingots, the oil-paper packet seemed to mock him in silence.
As if bewitched, he slowly reached out his hand toward the oil-paper packet.
Why should he?
Dark pines of the ravine below, thriving sprouts upon the mountain high. With their narrow stems, they cast shades for the towering trees...
He did not want to be the dark pine at the bottom of the ravine for the rest of his life, nor did he want to be forever subservient to the sprouts upon the mountain high.
The enticing words of Lu Tong once again slowly surfaced in his thoughts.
In the spirit hall where the storm was brewing, the scholar asked Doctor Lu, "Why do you want to help me?"
The woman silently looked at him, offering no answer, her eyes filled with a deep, misty haze that was indiscernible.
Wu Youcai knew clearly that she wanted to use him, and her purported help must have an ulterior motive. But at this moment, he was willing to be swayed by her. Grateful that in his resentment and sorrow, she offered him a path of desperation and intense relief, preventing him from sinking into endless grief.
The scholar felt the oil-paper packet with his fingertips.
The packet was ice-cold, like a chilling curse. In an instant, behind him, it seemed as though the joyous laughter of fiendish ghosts erupted, celebrating their eventual triumph in this gamble.
So he clutched the oil-paper packet tightly in his palm, and in the empty room, he bent down, weeping silently.