Han Qingmei's call came and went as quickly as it arrived. Before I could even respond, she had hung up.
When I tried to call back, she had already turned off her phone.
I slammed my phone onto the bedside table and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the drawer. I lit up two or three in quick succession, desperately trying to suppress the fire raging within me.
Han Qingmei… she had gone too far!
I owed her, so whatever she did to me was her business. But to go after the people close to me, bypassing me entirely, was utterly classless!
Setting aside the accidental, fleeting romance with Xu Shiyu, I had to admit, I genuinely liked her.
But it was only liking, and any deeper development was impossible.
As for personal relationships, the moment I chose to walk the path of the Qianmen, I had already severed those ties with a decisive cut.
This was why I had consciously or unconsciously avoided women who showed interest in me.
Because I knew that for me, a life of wife, children, and a warm hearth was simply not in the cards.
So, I had learned to let go early on.
It wasn't until after my call with Han Qingmei that I belatedly realized that letting go of an accidental affection that should never have begun wasn't as simple as just wanting to let go.
I knew I had lost this game of emotions, and worse, I had dragged someone else into suffering with me.
Suddenly, the image of Xu Shiyu being captured by Han Qingmei and subjected to torment flashed into my mind. This scene deeply agitated my nerves, leaving me unable to calm down for a long time…
I don't know how much time passed.
As I lit the last cigarette in the pack, the hazy nicotine smoke gradually rose, and the fire in my chest seemed to slowly subside.
Until finally, I regained complete composure.
Sitting idly by was not my style. I had to find every possible way to rescue Xu Shiyu!
I knew very well that Han Qingmei hated me to the core and wished I were dead!
When she couldn't find an opportunity with me, she turned her target to people connected to me.
And Xu Shiyu was the target she had meticulously selected.
She had likely investigated everything that happened between Xu Shiyu and me.
Her only motive for using Xu Shiyu to force me to meet was one thing: an exchange of lives! To trade my life for hers!
If I hadn't managed to extract some information about Uncle Tuo's enemies from Xiao Tianci, especially the name of that enemy that so many people I had previously questioned remained tight-lipped about, I might have been willing to sacrifice my own life for Xu Shiyu's survival.
But now, the name I had desperately sought was in my possession, and the person bearing that name was within reach. There was no way I could fulfill Han Qingmei's wish at this juncture!
Even if I had to die, it would only be after avenging Uncle Tuo!
Therefore, at this stage, I absolutely would not let Han Qingmei have her way!
I wanted to make her believe that I actually didn't care about Xu Shiyu's life or death, that our fleeting romance was merely a momentary lust.
Only then would there be a chance to rescue Xu Shiyu.
With this thought, the outline of a plan slowly began to form in the depths of my mind.
In this plan, I would play the role of a detached, cold-hearted, and unfeeling scumbag.
Not only would I not show up on time as agreed, but I would also try my best to seize the initiative from the moment the meeting was arranged.
As long as Han Qingmei hadn't completely lost her humanity and reason, she wouldn't kill Xu Shiyu before seeing me.
The above was only the first part of the plan's outline.
As for the second part, after the meeting, without endangering Xu Shiyu's life, whatever Han Qingmei did to her, I would try my best to turn a blind eye and pretend not to hear!
I knew that reacting this way would undoubtedly cause Xu Shiyu the greatest emotional pain, but as long as Han Qingmei believed it…
This crisis would be temporarily resolved.
For this, I had already prepared myself mentally, ready to bear the infamy.
If you ask me if I regret it, I would tell you: my life's dictionary has no word for regret, only a few regrets.
The regret is not having tried to invest in that relationship when it was still in its nascent stage, to be a young man with normal emotional desires.
Just like Monkey King, who clearly realized the mission and responsibility he carried on his shoulders. Perhaps, maybe, possibly, he felt regret at the moment he put on the golden fillet, but more likely, he felt a sense of wistful regret.
Because life is full of regrets!
………………
Under the starry night sky, undercurrents surged.
I stood up and walked to the window, gazing out at the dazzling, sleepless city of Macau.
The cold wind blowing against my face was like knives and swords, stimulating my facial nerves and making my mind clearer.
Looking down at the last cigarette held between my fingers, as it was about to burn out, a myriad of thoughts and scattered memories surged forth, then drifted away under the starry sky.
At this moment, I couldn't help but recall the golden words of wisdom Uncle Tuo once shared about how people of the Qianmen should view emotions…
Uncle Tuo said that for ordinary people, emotions were as indispensable as rice.
What happens if you don't eat? You starve!
In the eyes of most ordinary people, emotions were as important as the staple food – rice – that was essential for every meal.
Without emotions, not to mention anything else, so many people wouldn't even exist in this world.
But for someone like me, who walked the crooked path of the unconventional, emotions were merely a bowl of soup.
Having soup after a meal was comforting and enjoyable.
It was fine even without soup; I wouldn't starve anyway.
Being an unconventional person with one foot already in the grave, yet always trying to position myself like an ordinary person, wanting to openly date and live a normal life, the only outcome would be harming myself and others.
Why is life full of regrets? It's because many people fail to understand themselves, failing to know what they truly desire at the present moment! Myself included!
Perhaps, after going through this ordeal, I could gain valuable experience and continuously transform and grow…
I don't know how long I stood by the window, with the cold wind blowing through the open pane, until my entire face felt stiff. Only then did I close the window and lie back down on the bed.
The season of revival was fast approaching. I still didn't know if I would have the chance to see the vibrant green new leaves symbolizing boundless vitality, and the swallows nesting under the eaves of the houses, nurturing new life in the spring…